Married Men As Best Man: Is It Okay?

Being a best man at a wedding is an honour, and those chosen for the role are usually among the closest to the groom. But what happens when the groom chooses a married man to be his best man? It is very common for a married man to be picked as the best man, and when the groom chooses more than one best man, they are almost all spouses of the bridesmaids. The groom always chooses his best man, and it makes no difference whether the best man is single or married.

The groom chooses the best man

The groom's choice of best man is not influenced by marital status; it is common for a married man to be the best man. In fact, when the groom chooses more than one best man, they are often the spouses of the bridesmaids. The groom's father can also be the best man, although this is less common.

The best man has a variety of duties and responsibilities, including organising the bachelor party, arranging transportation for the groom and groomsmen, and guiding guests to their seats before the ceremony. He also has to give a speech at the reception, assist the groom on the wedding day, and keep the wedding rings safe until the ceremony.

The best man is the leader of the groomsmen and has an active and leading role. He is responsible for making sure the groomsmen know what to do and behave appropriately before and during the ceremony. The best man also has to be prepared to deal with any unexpected situations and avoid any embarrassing moments for the couple.

The best man's duties

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a significant responsibility. The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or relative, and it is their job to support the groom and ensure everything runs smoothly before, during, and after the wedding. Here is a detailed list of the best man's duties:

Pre-Wedding Duties:

• Assist with outfit details: Help the groom and groomsmen select their wedding attire and ensure everyone has the correct measurements and receives their outfits in time.
• Organise the bachelor party: Plan an event that aligns with the groom's wishes and recruit the other groomsmen to help.
• Coordinate the groom's gift: If the groomsmen decide to get a gift for the groom, the best man leads the effort by collecting money and choosing the gift.
• Provide emotional support: Be there for the groom throughout the wedding planning process, listen to their concerns, and offer reassurance.
• Be present for the rehearsal: Attend the wedding rehearsal and help wrangle the wedding party to ensure the schedule runs smoothly. You may also make a small toast during the rehearsal dinner.

Wedding-Day Duties:

• Keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule: Ensure everyone gets to the venue on time and help wrangle the groomsmen throughout the ceremony.
• Hold the wedding rings: Safely keep the wedding rings until it's time to exchange vows.
• Witness the marriage license: The best man and maid of honour are usually the witnesses for the marriage license signing.
• Greet the wedding guests: Welcome guests to the wedding ceremony and help them find their seats.
• Dance with the maid of honour: Traditionally, the best man dances with the maid of honour during the reception.
• Sign the marriage license: After the ceremony, sign the marriage license as a witness and hand the officiant their fee.
• Act as an unofficial reception host: Mingle at the reception, ensure guests are having a good time, and help with any issues that may arise.
• Help collect gifts: Assist in collecting gifts from guests and ensuring they are safely stored or transported to the couple's home.
• Give the best man speech: Deliver a well-crafted speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story.

Post-Wedding Duties:

• Return groomsmen outfits: Help return any rented outfits to ensure they are returned on time and in good condition.
• Decorate the newlywed car: Coordinate and decorate the car for the couple's getaway after the reception.

The bride's influence on the selection

While the groom is the one who ultimately decides who will be the best man, the bride can have an influence on the selection in a few ways.

Firstly, the groom may consider the bride's preferences and opinions when choosing the best man. Although it is not a requirement, the groom may want to ensure that the bride is comfortable and happy with his choice. This is especially important if the groom is considering someone who the bride may not approve of, such as an ex-partner or someone with a questionable reputation. By taking the bride's feelings into account, the groom can avoid potential conflicts and ensure that the wedding planning process is smooth and respectful.

Secondly, the bride and groom may spend a significant amount of time together with other couples, and in such cases, the groom might ask the spouse or partner of one of the bridesmaids to be his best man. This decision would be based on the close relationship and bond formed between the two couples. By choosing the spouse of one of the bridesmaids, the groom can strengthen the unity of the wedding party and create a more inclusive atmosphere.

Additionally, the bride can have an indirect influence on the selection of the best man by expressing her preferences for certain qualities or characteristics in the best man. For example, she may suggest that the groom choose someone who is reliable, organised, or experienced in wedding planning. The bride's input can guide the groom's decision and help him select a best man who complements his own skills and strengths.

It is important to note that while the bride's influence can be considered, the final decision rests with the groom. The selection of the best man is a personal choice, and the groom should feel free to choose someone he trusts and values, regardless of their marital status. Ultimately, the best man should be someone who will support and assist the groom throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself.

The groom's comfort with the best man

The best man is often the groom's best friend, someone loyal who has always been there for him. The groom's brother or father may also be chosen as the best man, as the relationship between a father and son can be so strong that having the father as the best man is a blessing for the son and a real honour for the father.

The groom may also consider the spouse of one of the bridesmaids if he and his bride spend a lot of time with them as a couple. In fact, when the groom chooses more than one best man, they are often the spouses of the bridesmaids.

The groom's comfort with his best man is also reflected in the duties he entrusts to him. The best man is the groom's chief assistant and is expected to be reliable and ready to run any last-minute errands. He organises the bachelor party and may also help with other wedding preparations. During the ceremony, the best man stands next to the groom and may act as a legal witness to the marriage, signing the marriage certificate. He also delivers a speech at the reception, which can be a source of anxiety but is also an opportunity to showcase his virtues and morals, making the groom proud.

Ultimately, the groom's comfort with his best man is about trust and friendship. The best man is chosen for his special connection with the groom, and his marital status is not a deciding factor.

The best man's marital status

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is usually chosen from among his closest male family members and friends. There is no rule that dictates whether the best man can be married or not. In fact, it is very common for a married man to be the best man, and when the groom chooses more than one best man, they are often the spouses of the bridesmaids.

The groom's selection of his best man is based on the closeness of their bond and the level of trust and respect between them. The best man is expected to be reliable and capable of shouldering important responsibilities, such as organising the bachelor party, leading the groomsmen, and offering assistance to the wedding party.

In some cultures, the best man is expected to fulfil specific roles and traditions. For example, in Zambia, he leads processions at the wedding and preliminary events, and in Uganda, he is expected to be married himself so that he can guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage.

Ultimately, the best man is chosen based on his relationship with the groom, and his marital status is not a deciding factor.

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