Uninviting Children To Your Wedding: A Delicate Conversation

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on a guest list. One of the toughest tasks is figuring out how to politely tell someone their child is not invited. While it may be an uncomfortable conversation, there are ways to approach the situation with tact and sensitivity. It's important to be direct and clear about your no-kids request to avoid any confusion and to give guests enough time to make childcare arrangements. Be mindful that some guests may decline the invitation due to childcare issues, and be prepared for potential backlash from those who feel insulted by the no-child rule. To avoid any ambiguity, be specific about the age limit and ensure the rule applies to everyone to avoid causing offence.

Address invitations to specific guests only, excluding children

If you're planning a child-free wedding, it's important to communicate this to your guests clearly and tactfully. Here are some tips and suggestions for addressing your invitations to specific guests only, excluding children:

• Be Direct and Clear: On your wedding invitations, clearly state that the event is for adults only. You can use phrases such as "Please note that this invitation is extended to adults only" or "This will be an adult-only occasion." This approach leaves no room for confusion and ensures that guests understand your wishes.
• Address Invitations Specifically: When addressing the envelopes, only include the names of the invited guests. Avoid addressing it to "The Smith Family" if only the parents are invited. By specifically naming the invitees, you make it clear that children are not included.
• Include a Line on the Response Card: On the response or RSVP card, you can reinforce the adults-only request. For example, "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception" or "___ adults would love to attend." This not only confirms the number of invited guests but also reiterates that children are not included.
• Personalize Response Cards: Another option is to personalize each response card with the guest names printed on them. This way, it becomes explicit who is invited and who is not.
• Combine with Other Communication Channels: Consider combining this approach with other methods, such as including a line on your wedding website's FAQ page or spreading the word through family and friends. That way, guests with children are less likely to miss the information.
• Provide Advance Notice: It is important to give your guests with children enough time to make necessary childcare arrangements. Sending out "save the date" notices or early invitations with this information is considerate and practical.
• Be Consistent: Apply the "no children" rule consistently across your guest list. Making exceptions for some children but not others could lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. However, you can make clear exceptions for children of immediate family members or those in the wedding party, as long as this is communicated to all guests.
• Be Sensitive and Understanding: Remember that some parents may not be able to attend due to the child-free policy. Accept their decision gracefully, and don't take it personally. It's their choice to decline the invitation if attending without their children is inconvenient.

Add a note with the invitation explaining the no-kids rule

If you want to have a child-free wedding, it's best to inform your guests as soon as possible. You can do this by including a note in your save-the-date cards, wedding website, or invitations. Here are some ways to politely word this information:

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 at the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
• "Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children. Thank you for your understanding."
• "Whilst we love little ones, we kindly request a child-free wedding."
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."
• "Children are welcome to attend the ceremony, but we respectfully advise that the reception will be for adults only. We thank you for your understanding."
• "We truly wish we could invite all our guests' children to our wedding, however, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families."
• "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of [insert number] on our wedding day."
• "The couple requests this be an adults-only event."
• "Unfortunately, we cannot host any children at our wedding. We appreciate your understanding."
• "There will be an adult-only (21+) reception to follow."
• "I'm sorry, as much as we love [CHILD'S NAME], we've decided to have a child-free wedding/limit it to the children of immediate family only. We hope you'll still be able to come."

If you'd rather not include this information in your invitations, you can also address each invitation with the names of those invited, or call your guests to explain.

Be specific on the reply card about the number of guests invited

When it comes to wedding invitations, being specific about the number of guests invited is crucial to ensure there is no confusion. Here are some tips to achieve this:

Firstly, it is essential to address each invitation with the names of the specific guests who are invited. This includes their names on the envelope and the response card. By doing this, guests with children will understand that their children are not included in the invitation.

Another way to be explicit is to add a line on the response or RSVP card indicating the number of seats reserved for them at the reception. For example, you can write, "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception." This approach leaves no room for ambiguity and ensures that guests are aware that their children are not included in the guest count.

Additionally, you can personalise each response card with the guest names printed on them. This further emphasises who is invited and makes it clear that any children are not part of the invitation.

If you prefer a more direct approach, you can include a specific statement on the invitation or response card, such as "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event." This statement explicitly communicates that children are not included in the invitation.

Finally, if you have a wedding website, you can use it to provide additional information. Create an FAQ section that addresses your decision to have a child-free wedding. This way, guests can refer to the website for clarification and understand that the invitation is for adults only.

Add information to your wedding website

Wedding Website Wording Ideas:

FAQ Page:

Q: Is this an adult-only wedding?

• A: Yes, we hope parents will enjoy their well-earned night off!
• A: Largely, yes! Due to restrictions at the venue, we can only accommodate children of immediate family at our wedding.
• A: In order to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation, we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult-only occasion. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the evening off!

Q: Will children be attending the wedding?

A: In order to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation, we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult-only occasion. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the evening off!

Other Wording Ideas:

• Please note that this is an adults-only celebration.
• Adults-only reception to follow.
• We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 to the reception.
• Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm.
• Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children—thank you for your understanding.
• We politely request that there be no children under the age of 18 at the reception.
• No children under the age of 16 will be permitted.
• We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event.
• By request, no children under the age of 16.
• Children are welcome to attend the ceremony, however, we respectfully advise that the reception will be for adults only. We thank you for your understanding.
• We hope you'll join us at an adults-only reception that will immediately follow the ceremony.
• Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to limited seating.
• We thought you would like the night off, so we are having an adults-only wedding.
• To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children.
• We respectfully advise this is an adult occasion (18+). Infants under 12 months are welcome.
• This invitation is extended to adults only.
• Sweet dreams to children under 16.
• Sorry, no children under the age of 16.
• We truly wish we could invite all our guests' children to our wedding, however, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families.

Spread the word through friends and family

If you're planning a child-free wedding, it's a good idea to spread the word through friends and family. This can help to avoid confusion or awkwardness and give guests with children plenty of notice to make childcare arrangements. Here are some ways to do this:

Be Direct

If you feel comfortable doing so, you could ask your immediate family, wedding party members and close friends to inform other guests through word of mouth. This approach can be especially useful for guests who may have difficulty arranging childcare or those travelling from out of town. It's a good idea to provide these guests with a simple, consistent message that they can pass on, such as:

• "We've decided to have a child-free wedding."
• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "We're keeping the wedding celebration small and intimate."

Use Your Wedding Website

If you have a wedding website, this can be a great place to slip in a note about your child-free plans. You could include this information in the FAQ section, along with suggestions for babysitting options in the area. Here are some ways to phrase it:

• Is this an adult-only wedding? Yes, we hope parents will enjoy a well-deserved night off!
• Is this an adult-only wedding? Largely, yes! Due to restrictions, we can only accommodate children of immediate family.
• Will children be attending the wedding? We've chosen to make this an adult-only occasion to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation.

Combine Methods

You can also combine the above methods. For example, you could address invitations to parents only and include a line on your wedding website's FAQ page explaining that children aren't invited. This approach ensures that guests know where they stand, and it gives you an opportunity to provide additional information or suggestions.

Frequently asked questions