Rsvping Solo: Wedding Invite Etiquette For Singles

RSVPing to a wedding alone is a straightforward process, but it's important to follow the correct etiquette. The first step is to check the invitation for the couple's preferred RSVP method – this could be a physical card, an email address, or a wedding website. Once you've established this, respond promptly and follow the couple's instructions. If you're attending solo, be sure to only include your name and dietary requirements/meal choice (if requested). It's also good form to respond to any fun questions or special requests the couple may have included. If you're unable to attend, it's polite to respond with a definitive 'no', an explanation (if appropriate), and a gift from their registry.

RSVPing alone: what to write

RSVPing alone to a wedding invite is simple, and it's important to respond promptly and correctly. Here's a step-by-step guide on what to write when RSVPing alone:

• Respond as soon as possible: It's important to respond to the wedding invitation promptly, preferably as soon as you receive it. This helps the couple finalise their numbers, seating plan, and budget.
• Follow the couple's instructions: Read the invitation carefully and follow the specified RSVP method. This could be via a physical RSVP card, a wedding website, or an email address provided. Respect their preferences and avoid texting or calling unless specifically requested.
• Include your full name: On the RSVP, clearly state your full name, including any relevant titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss). This helps the couple create an accurate seating chart and ensures they know how to address you properly.
• Indicate your attendance: Clearly state whether you are attending or not. This is the primary purpose of the RSVP, as it helps the couple and their vendors with planning and coordination.
• Provide dietary restrictions: If the couple is offering meal options, indicate your preference and any dietary restrictions or allergies. This information is crucial for the catering arrangements.
• Include any additional requested information: The couple may request additional information, such as song requests, drink preferences, or travel plans. Providing this information enhances your experience and assists the couple in planning a memorable event.
• Follow proper etiquette: When RSVPing, maintain a polite and gracious tone. Whether accepting or declining, express your gratitude for the invitation and provide a brief, personal message. For example, "Thank you for the invitation. I am delighted to attend. Looking forward to the special day!"
• Be mindful of plus-ones: If you haven't been explicitly offered a plus-one, don't request one. If your long-term partner or spouse is missing from the invitation, it's appropriate to politely clarify with the couple.
• Don't substitute your plus-one: If your partner is invited but unable to attend, don't substitute them with another guest. The couple has specified names for a reason, and it's important to respect their wishes.
• Be considerate of children: If the couple has specified that the event is child-free, respect their decision. Unless you have special circumstances, such as a newborn, it's important to adhere to their request.

How to respond to a physical invite

If you've received a physical wedding invitation, it's likely that it will come with a separate "RSVP card" and a pre-addressed envelope. The card will either be blank or have a pre-printed template with specific questions. Here's how to respond to each type:

Responding to a Blank RSVP Card

When the RSVP card is blank, you'll need to write a personal response. This should be a couple of brief sentences confirming your name(s), attendance or non-attendance, and any other details requested in the RSVP instructions.

The wording of your response should be guided by the tone of the invitation (formal or informal) and your relationship with the couple.

Here's an example of a formal response:

> Mr Harry Smith and Mrs Sally Smith accept with pleasure (or: regret they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, 21st September

An informal response could look something like this:

> Thank you for your invitation, we will both be happily attending! Looking forward to it. Love, Sally and Harry Smith

Or, if you're unable to attend:

> Thank you for your invitation, sadly we are both unable to attend due to other commitments. So sorry we can't be there – wishing you an amazing day! Love, Sally and Harry Smith

Responding to a Pre-Printed Template

If the RSVP card has a pre-printed template, simply fill in the blank areas and/or tick the boxes requested by the couple. This may include details such as:

• Your RSVP response (attending or not attending)
• The number of guests attending
• Dietary requirements
• "Just for fun" questions, like dance floor requests or marriage advice
• Use both your first and last names to avoid confusion, especially if it's a large wedding.
• Follow the formatting outlined on the RSVP card. Some more formal cards may include a pre-printed "M" before the name line, indicating that you should include your title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss.) before your name.
• If the card includes "just for fun" questions, answer them! The couple wants to involve you in their celebration.

Other Things to Keep in Mind

• Respond as soon as possible. It's important to respond to a wedding invitation well before the due date.
• Don't request a plus one unless it's offered. If your invitation includes the words "and Guest" or "+1" after your name, then you've been allocated a plus one. If not, it's safe to assume you haven't been offered one.
• Don't substitute your plus one. If your invitation includes your partner's name but they are unable to attend, don't invite another guest in their place.
• Only RSVP if you're 100% sure about your attendance. Once you respond, the couple will include you in their seating chart and pay for your meal, so only respond when you're certain.
• Be mindful of any children specifications. If the couple has specified that the wedding is a child-free event, respect their decision.
• Follow the instructions provided. Make sure to read the invitation carefully and follow the steps outlined by the couple.

How to respond to a digital invite

If you've received a digital wedding invitation, the couple has likely left instructions on how to RSVP online. This is usually done via a wedding website or a specified email address.

How to RSVP via a wedding website:

Type in the URL from the wedding invitation and follow the prompts. This will usually direct you to an RSVP page with the same questions you would typically find on a traditional RSVP card. Be sure to fill in all of the requested areas before clicking "send" or "confirm". While you're on the wedding website, you can also take a look at things like venue directions, transportation options, and the schedule for the day.

How to RSVP via email:

If the couple has asked you to RSVP via email, respond using the same kind of message you would for a blank RSVP card. Don't forget to use (and double-check) the correct email address provided on the invitation, even if you have a different email address on file. Many couples will create a separate email address for their RSVPs to keep all of the responses in one convenient place.

When responding via email, it's important to be gracious, regardless of whether you are accepting or declining. While a simple "yes" or "no" gets the point across, it isn't the most polite. Take a few moments to write a personal message to the couple. Also, make sure to include your name, how many people will be in your party, and any other information the couple has asked for, such as entrée choice or song requests.

Tips for RSVPing:

• RSVP as soon as possible.
• Don't request a plus one unless it's offered.
• Don't substitute your plus one.
• Don't RSVP unless you're 100% sure you can/can't attend.
• Be mindful of any children specifications.
• Follow the instructions provided.

What to do if you can no longer attend

It's important to let the couple know as soon as possible if you can no longer attend a wedding after you've RSVPed yes. Here are some steps to follow in this situation:

• Have a good reason for your cancellation: Only back out if there are serious circumstances, such as a severe illness or family emergency. Remember that time and money have been dedicated to preparing for your attendance, so don't cancel your commitment lightly.
• Don't bother the couple on the wedding day: If you need to cancel on the day of the wedding, don't reach out to the couple directly. Instead, contact the wedding planner, maid of honor, or best man to inform them that you are unable to attend. The couple should be focused on their wedding, and distractions like these will only cause unnecessary stress.
• Apologize: Even if the situation is beyond your control, it's good manners to apologize to the couple for missing their big day. Let them know that you appreciate all the planning and preparation they did to accommodate your attendance.
• Send a gift: Even though you can't attend, it's considerate to send the couple a wedding gift from their registry. This is a way to show your support and celebrate their special day, even if you can't be there in person.
• Don't change your mind again: Once you have cancelled, it's important not to change your response later. The couple has already adjusted their plans and accommodations based on your initial RSVP, and they may not be able to accommodate last-minute changes.
• Be considerate: If you have a legitimate reason for cancelling, it's fine to share it with the couple. However, if the reason for your absence could hurt their feelings, it might be better to decline without providing specific details. Remember to be mindful of the couple's feelings and the impact of your cancellation on their plans.

How to decline an invite

It is important to remember that receiving a wedding invitation means that you are someone special to the couple. They want you to be present for the most important day of their lives. However, there are many valid reasons why you might not be able to attend.

Respond as soon as possible

As soon as you know you cannot attend, let the couple know. The earlier you decline, the easier it will be for the couple to make alternative arrangements.

Be honest but kind

You don't want to lie about why you are missing the wedding, but there is no reason to be cruel. If you simply don't want to attend, you should still give some sort of reason. For a casual friend, you can mention work commitments or budget constraints.

Use the couple's preferred RSVP method

If the couple has requested a specific RSVP method, such as an online form or response card, be sure to use that method to decline the invitation. This will make it easier for the couple to keep track of responses.

Include a brief explanation

When declining the invitation, it is generally considered polite to provide a brief explanation for your absence. You can mention scheduling conflicts, financial constraints, or other commitments that prevent you from attending.

Express your disappointment

Let the couple know that you are disappointed to miss their special day. Express your well wishes and send your congratulations. This will show that you care about them and their celebration.

Send a gift

Although not mandatory, sending a gift to the couple is a thoughtful gesture, especially if you are close to them. It shows your support and gratitude for being invited.

Check-in after the wedding

If you are close to the couple, reach out to them after the wedding to see how it went. This will convey your interest in their lives and show that you regret not being able to attend.

"Dear [Couple's Names],

Thank you so much for inviting us to your wedding. Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend due to a prior engagement. We are sad to miss this special occasion and will be thinking of you on your big day.

With love,

[Your Names]"

"Hi [Couple's Names],

I was so excited to receive your wedding invitation! Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend due to a scheduling conflict. I hope you understand, and I wish you all the best for your special day.

Warm regards,

[Your Name]"

Frequently asked questions