How To Politely Indicate 'Adults Only' On Wedding Invitations

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is a tricky question. If you've decided on an adults-only wedding, there are ways to communicate this to your guests. While it's generally not recommended to write adults only on the invitation, you can convey this through your reception card with phrases like intimate ceremony or cocktail reception. You can also address your envelopes correctly, making it clear who is invited. For example, you could write Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan on the outer envelope and Mike and Annie on the inner envelope. Another option is to include a custom card in your wedding invitation suite, with a lighthearted message such as We love your kids but thought you might like a night off. Adults only please!

Etiquette for wording invitations

When it comes to hosting an adults-only wedding, it's important to consider the etiquette for wording your invitations. While it's your decision to have an adults-only event, it's essential to communicate this in a polite and respectful manner. Here are some tips and suggestions for ensuring your guests understand that your wedding is adults-only:

Firstly, it's generally recommended to avoid explicitly stating "adults-only" or "no children" directly on the invitation. Instead, focus on how you address the invitations. Only list the invited guests' names on the envelope, excluding children. For example, address it to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" instead of "The Chavez Family." This makes it clear that only the parents are invited.

You can also include an inner envelope with the exact names of the invited guests to provide further clarity. Another option is to add a count on the RSVP cards. You can write, "We have reserved [number] spots for you" or fill in the second line with the number of guests included to avoid confusion.

If you're concerned that some guests might not get the hint, you can include subtle phrases on your reception card that suggest a child-free event. For example, you could mention the venue as a "luxury hotel" or "downtown nightclub," which are typically not suitable for children.

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to budget/space constraints."

If you want to be absolutely clear, you can include a custom card or note within your wedding invitation suite. This could say something like, "We adore your children, but our venue does not have room for little ones. Please make it a date night, and we can't wait to celebrate with you!"

Additionally, it's a good idea to include a note on your wedding website to reinforce the adults-only rule. You can add an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" This way, you can politely inform your guests that you want them to be able to enjoy the event without worrying about their kids.

Remember, it's essential to be consistent and stick to your decision once you've set the parameters for an adults-only wedding. Making exceptions can lead to confusion and upset other guests.

How to address the envelopes

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes, it's important to consider the formality of your wedding, the relationship status of your guests, and their titles or prefixes. Here are some guidelines on how to address the envelopes for your adult-only wedding:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is the one that will have the mailing address, postage, and return address. This envelope is typically more formal and follows specific etiquette based on your guests' marital status and titles. Here are some examples:

• For a married couple with the same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple prefers to have both their names included, you can write "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
• For a married couple with different last names: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• For an unmarried couple living together: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".
• For a single female guest: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" if she is under 18.
• For a single male guest: "Mr. James Montgomery".
• For a non-binary guest: Use the honorific "Mx. followed by their full name, e.g., "Mx. Courtney Andrews".
• For a widowed woman: Use "Mrs." followed by her husband's name, e.g., "Mrs. George Devereaux". You can also inquire if she prefers "Ms.".
• For a divorced woman: Use "Mrs." or "Ms." followed by her ex-husband's last name or her maiden name, depending on her preference, e.g., "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon".
• For a guest with a distinguished title: Use their title followed by their name, e.g., "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor" for a judge or "Father Damien Karras" for a priest.
• For a family with children: Address the outer envelope to the parents only, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson". If you want to be less specific, you can address it to the whole family: "The Thompson Family".

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is optional and is usually more informal. It includes the names of the invitees and contains the invitation inside. Here are some examples:

• For a married couple: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names, e.g., "Thomas and Michelle".
• For an unmarried couple: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or use their first names, e.g., "Stanley and Amanda".
• For a single female guest: "Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen" if she is under 18, or just their first name, e.g., "Stephanie".
• For a single male guest: "Mr. Montgomery" or just their first name, e.g., "James".
• For a family with children: Write the names of each family member, including children, in list form. Begin with the parents' names, followed by the children's names in order of age, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson, Mr. Bart Simpson, Miss Lisa Simpson".

Remember to double-check the spelling of your guests' names and their preferred titles or prefixes before addressing the envelopes.

Including a reception card

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky part of planning your big day. If you've decided to have an adults-only wedding, there are ways to communicate this to your guests tactfully and clearly. Here are some tips and suggestions for including a reception card with your wedding invitations:

If you are having a separate reception venue, it is customary to include a reception card with your wedding invitation. This card can also be used to indicate that your wedding will be adults-only. Here are some suggestions for wording:

• "Reception to follow at [Reception Venue Name] (Adults Only)"
• "Dinner and dancing to follow (18+ only)"
• "Feasting and merriment to follow (No children, please)"
• "Reception immediately following the ceremony (Ages 16+ only)"

Other Ways to Communicate Adults-Only:

In addition to or instead of a reception card, there are other ways to indicate that your wedding reception is adults-only:

• Address your envelopes with specific names, excluding children.
• Include the number of invited guests on the RSVP cards, e.g., "___ out of ___ guests will attend".
• Add a note on your response cards, e.g., "We have reserved ___ spots for you".
• Mention it on your wedding website, especially on the FAQ page.
• Spread the word through your family, wedding party, and close friends.
• Be direct and polite if guests ask for clarification or exceptions.

Sample Wording for Adults-Only:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• "Although we love your children, we ask that only adults attend due to space limitations."
• "We love your kids, but this is a night for grown-ups only."

Remember, it's essential to be clear and consistent with your messaging to avoid any confusion for your guests. Good luck with your wedding planning!

Explaining your reasoning

There are many reasons why you might choose to have an adults-only wedding. Firstly, it can be a great way to shorten your guest list and save on costs. If your venue has limited space, opting for an adults-only wedding can help you stay within your capacity limits. Additionally, weddings can be expensive, and excluding children can help reduce the overall cost of the event.

Another reason to consider an adults-only wedding is to create a specific atmosphere or theme. Perhaps you want a sophisticated cocktail reception or an intimate ceremony that may not be suitable for children. By excluding children, you can ensure that your wedding reflects your desired style and tone.

Furthermore, an adults-only wedding can be a thoughtful decision to make things easier for your guests with children. If you choose to have both the ceremony and reception kid-free, parents won't have to worry about finding childcare for part of the day. They also won't have to deal with the logistics of transporting their children to and from the event.

Finally, it's important to remember that an adults-only wedding is a personal choice and doesn't reflect on your feelings towards children. You might simply want to create an event that is more suitable for adults, and that's perfectly okay. Ultimately, the decision to have an adults-only wedding is a matter of what works best for you, your partner, and your wedding vision.

Dealing with guest confusion

It is important to be clear and consistent about your adults-only wedding plans from the very beginning. This will help to avoid any confusion for your guests. Here are some ways to do this:

• Address your invitations correctly: Only list the names of those who are invited on the inner envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan" on the outer envelope and "Mike and Annie" on the inner envelope.
• Be specific about the number of guests: On your RSVP cards, include a line such as "We have reserved [X] spots in your honour" or "___ out of ___ guests will attend".
• Include a note on your reception card or map: This can be a subtle way to convey your adults-only request. For example, "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony."
• Use name bands: If you have the budget, name bands are paper wraps that are digitally printed with your guest names. They allow you to list the names of each invited guest, avoiding any confusion about "plus ones" or children.
• Be clear on your wedding website: Include an FAQ page and state that while you love children, you want your guests to be able to relax and enjoy themselves without worrying about their kids.
• Spread the word through family and friends: Let your close family members, wedding party, and other friends and relatives know about your adults-only plans. They can then answer any questions from other guests.

By using these strategies, you can help ensure that your guests understand your adults-only wedding plans and avoid any confusion or miscommunication.

Frequently asked questions