Wedding Invites: Monetary Gifts Etiquette And Wording Ideas

While it is acceptable to ask for monetary gifts for your wedding, it is considered poor etiquette to do so on your wedding invitations. There are several other ways to ask for money as a wedding gift, such as creating a cash fund wedding registry, providing a link to your wedding website, or mentioning your wishes to close friends and family members.

Asking for monetary gifts on wedding invites is considered rude

While it may not be considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift, it is generally frowned upon to ask for monetary gifts on the wedding invites. Asking for money on the invites can come across as presumptuous and greedy, and it takes the focus away from the wedding celebration. It is also against traditional wedding etiquette, which dictates that registry details should not be included on invites.

Instead, there are other ways to politely ask for monetary gifts without causing offence. One way is to include a link to your wedding website on the invite, where guests can find information about your preferences for gifts. On your website, you can explain why you have registered for cash and how you plan to use the funds. For example, you could say: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon fund."

Another option is to spread the word through close friends and family members. Sharing your preferences with your inner circle means they can let other guests know and help field any questions. This approach can be risky, as it may not be handled delicately, but it can be effective if you know your family and friends are good at subtly dropping hints.

You could also set up a honeymoon or house deposit fund with a gift registry service. Some services allow guests to contribute money towards a specific purchase, such as a honeymoon or a new home. This option provides a more indirect way to ask for monetary gifts, as guests can choose to contribute to the fund instead of giving a physical present.

Lastly, you can include a subtle hint on your wedding invites by mentioning a “wishing well" or adding a line about gifting. This option is more direct and may yield better results, but it must be phrased carefully to avoid sounding presumptuous. For example, you could say: "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we kindly request a monetary contribution."

Use a cash or honeymoon registry website

Using a cash or honeymoon registry website is a great way to ask for monetary donations without having to include this information on your wedding invitations. This method is becoming increasingly popular, with many couples now prioritising experiences and large purchases over toasters and dining sets.

One of the best-known honeymoon registry sites is Honeyfund. This site allows couples to register for contributions to their honeymoon, as well as down payments for a home, donations to charities, and more. Honeyfund has no setup fees or transaction fees for contributors, and funds can be deposited directly into your bank account.

Another option is to use a site like Zola, which offers a hybrid registry service. Zola allows couples to register for honeymoon trips, cash funds, and wedding gifts. The cash funds option has zero fees, and guests can choose to give by credit card or by sending money directly to the couple's Venmo account.

For couples who want a simple and straightforward option, Traveler's Joy is a good choice. This site is easy to navigate and offers flexible options for redeeming gifts. There are no sign-up or upgrade fees, and all gifts provided by cash or check come at no cost to both you and your guests.

If you're looking for a one-stop shop for your wedding's online presence, Blueprint could be a good option. Their platform offers wedding website and registry building, and you can add both traditional gift and cash fund options, including honeymoon experiences. There is no setup fee, but there is a 2.5% credit card processing fee covered by guests.

Be specific about how you'll use the cash

When asking for monetary donations on your wedding invitations, it's important to be specific about how you'll use the cash. This will help your guests understand your intentions and feel more comfortable with the idea of giving money as a gift. Here are some ways to be clear and direct about your plans:

Share Your Goals

Let your guests know what you and your partner plan to do with the monetary gifts. Are you saving for a down payment on your dream home? Do you want to renovate your current home? Are you hoping to take the honeymoon of a lifetime? Sharing your goals will help your guests understand your motivations and feel invested in your future plans.

Get Specific

Instead of simply stating that you want to buy a house, share some details about the home you hope to purchase. For example, you could mention that you're looking for a place with a garden so you can start a family, or that you want to live closer to your aging parents to help care for them. This adds a personal touch to your request and shows that you have a clear vision for the future.

Break Down the Costs

Another way to be specific is to break down the costs of your goals. For example, if you're planning a honeymoon, you could list some of the experiences you hope to have and how much they will cost. This gives guests a concrete idea of what their contributions will go towards. You could say something like, "We're planning a trip to Hawaii for our honeymoon, and we'd love to go snorkelling ($150) and take a sunset cruise ($200)."

Share Your Why

Explain why you're asking for monetary gifts instead of traditional wedding gifts. Are you hoping to reduce clutter in your home? Do you already have many of the household items you need? Are you trying to save for a specific goal? Sharing your reasoning can help guests understand your perspective and feel more connected to your request.

Provide Options

While being specific is important, you can also provide options for guests who want to contribute to different aspects of your plans. For example, if you're saving for a down payment on a house, you could break down the costs of different rooms or items, such as "Kitchen Renovation ($5,000)" or "New Bedroom Furniture ($2,000)." This allows guests to choose an area they feel particularly passionate about supporting.

Be Transparent

Throughout the process, be transparent and honest with your guests. Share your financial goals, your reasons for asking for monetary donations, and any other relevant information. This will help your guests feel included in your plans and trusted to contribute to your future.

Remember, it's important to be respectful and thoughtful when asking for monetary donations on your wedding invitations. Be mindful of your guests' comfort levels and avoid putting any pressure on them to contribute. By being specific and transparent about your plans, you can effectively communicate your wishes.

Create a traditional registry, too

While it is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift, creating a traditional registry is still a great option. This is especially true if you are worried about how your guests will react to a monetary request.

A traditional registry can include gifts at a variety of price points, from $25 to $200 or more. This gives your guests plenty of options and ensures that there are choices for guests with different spending abilities. You can also add a few luxury items to your registry, as some guests will want to splurge.

When creating your traditional registry, it is important to choose gifts that you and your partner will both enjoy. Talk about the style of home you would like and get on the same page about design choices, such as your bedroom colour scheme. While you may receive input from well-meaning family members and friends, remember that your wedding registry is for your home. So, take the time to curate a list that feels tailored to both of your interests.

You can also get creative with your traditional registry. Consider asking for gift cards to your favourite restaurants or home decor stores. Or, if there is a charity close to your heart, invite guests to make a donation in lieu of sending a gift.

Remember, it is not appropriate to include registry information on your wedding invitations. Instead, share your registry details on your wedding website or through word of mouth.

Set out a box for cards at the reception

Setting out a box for cards at the reception is a great way to receive monetary gifts without having to ask for them directly. This method, often called a "wishing well", is a discreet way to keep track of all the monetary donations received on your wedding day. It is also a safe place for guests to leave their cards and envelopes, making it convenient for you to write thank-you notes later.

• Choose a secure location: Select a safe and visible spot for the box, preferably near the entrance or exit of the reception venue. This will make it easy for guests to find and reduce the risk of any misplaced or lost cards.
• Decorate the box: You can add a touch of creativity and personalise the box to match your wedding theme. Consider decorating it with flowers, ribbons, or other decorative items that reflect your style.
• Assign someone to monitor the box: While it is not necessary to have someone constantly watching the box, it may be a good idea to assign a trusted person, such as a member of the wedding party or a close friend, to keep an occasional eye on it. This will ensure that the box remains secure and that guests feel comfortable placing their cards and envelopes inside.
• Provide clear signage: Clearly indicate that the box is for cards and monetary gifts. You can use a simple sign that says "Card Box" or "Wishing Well" to guide your guests.
• Include a small note: Consider placing a small note or poem inside the box that expresses your gratitude and explains how you plan to use the monetary gifts. For example, "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself, but if you wish to give something more, a monetary contribution towards our future plans would be greatly appreciated."
• Make it accessible: Ensure that the box is easily accessible to all your guests, including those with limited mobility. Place it at a comfortable height and consider providing a small table or surface for guests to place their cards on before dropping them into the box.
• Inform your guests in advance: Let your guests know about the card box ahead of time, either through your wedding website or by word of mouth. This will give them a heads-up to bring their cards or envelopes with them to the reception.
• Prepare a secure storage area: After the reception, you will need a safe place to store all the cards and monetary gifts. Have a secure bag or container ready to collect the contents of the box at the end of the event.

Remember, while it is acceptable to set up a card box at the reception, it is generally considered impolite to ask for monetary gifts directly on your wedding invitations. Instead, rely on word-of-mouth or include a subtle note on your wedding website expressing your preference for monetary gifts.

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