Guide To Addressing Wedding Invites: Groom's Parents Edition

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky task, but it's an important one as it's the first glimpse your guests will have of your big day. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are named at the top of the invitation, but modern variations include both sets of parents, or the couple and their parents as joint hosts. For a non-religious ceremony, the pleasure of your company is often used, whereas the honour of your presence is used for religious services. The invitation should also include the names of the couple, reception information, the date, time and venue.

Including both sets of parents

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few different scenarios and guidelines to follow, especially when including both sets of parents. Here are some tips and examples to help you properly address your wedding invitations:

Host Line

The host line typically includes the names of those hosting the wedding, which is often the couple's parents. In traditional invitations, the bride's parents' names are listed first. However, it is becoming increasingly common to include both sets of parents or even the couple themselves as hosts. Here are some examples:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong and Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis" (formal)
• "Aaron and Alisha Wong, together with Adam and Beatrice Hollis" (less formal)
• "Together with their families/parents" (when the couple and both sets of parents are contributing)

Request Line

This is where you invite guests to attend your wedding and set the tone for the celebration. Some examples include:

• "Request the honour of your presence" (for a religious ceremony)
• "Request the pleasure of your company" (for a non-religious ceremony)
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"

Couple's Names

For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom. For same-sex couples, you can list names alphabetically by last name or based on the design of the invitation. First names only are also an option for a less formal feel.

Date and Time

The date and time are usually spelled out in full. For example, "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon." The year is spelt out in full, without using "and". The time of day is also spelt out, e.g., "four o'clock" or "half after four o'clock".

Venue

List the venue name and city, state on separate lines. For formal weddings, spell out the state name. Only include the street address if the venue is a private residence. Zip codes are usually omitted.

Reception Information

If the reception is at the same location as the ceremony, you can simply write "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow". For a different location, include the venue details on a separate line or a reception card. If you're not serving a full meal, you can indicate this, e.g., "Join us for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing".

Dress Code

Including a dress code is optional but can be helpful for guests. If your wedding is black-tie, it must be included. Otherwise, guests will infer the dress code based on the invitation's formality.

Other Considerations

• Wedding Website: It's best not to include the URL on the main invitation card. Instead, add it to a reception or additional information card.
• Registry Information: Avoid including this on the invitation. Put it on your wedding website instead.
• Adults-Only Wedding: Address invitations carefully, only listing invited adult guests. Spread the word through family and friends, and include this information on your wedding website.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preference and the couple's last name situation. Here are some examples to help you format the addresses:

Married Couple With the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional way is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. However, this format has fallen out of favour with many modern couples as it erases the wife's identity by excluding her first name. An alternative format is to list the couple's first names followed by their shared last name:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

A more inclusive option that acknowledges both spouses' identities is to write:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple With Different Last Names:

When addressing a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to list them separately:

• Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
• Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

Married Couple With One Hyphenated Last Name:

When addressing a married couple where one spouse has chosen to hyphenate their last name, write their names on the same line, with the person you are closest to, or the person with the hyphenated name, listed first:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

General Guidelines:

When addressing wedding invitations, it is essential to consider your guests' preferences and comfort levels. While tradition dictates specific formats, it is becoming increasingly common to prioritise inclusivity and avoid restrictive titles. Here are some additional guidelines to consider:

• If the couple has different last names, list the person you are closest to first, or arrange their names alphabetically.
• For same-sex couples, either name can go first.
• Avoid using "Mrs." to refer to a married woman, as it implies a connection to her husband's identity. Instead, use "Ms." or include her first name.
• When in doubt, opt for a more modern approach by using only first and last names, without any titles.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few different options to choose from, depending on whether or not the couple lives together.

If the couple lives together, their names should be included on the same line, connected by "and". For example:

> Ms. Nancy Fellows and Mr. Scott Dunn

If the couple does not live together, there are two options. The first is to write their names on separate lines, in alphabetical order:

> Ms. Mary Ann

> Mr. Tom Thumb

The second option is to use the same format, but only use their last names:

> Ms. Fellows

> Mr. Dunn

In both cases, the outer envelope should be addressed to the person you are closest to. For example:

> Mr. Bob Knots

The inner envelope can include both names, with the name of the person you are closest to first:

> Mr. Bob Knots and Ms. Mary Ann

When addressing the outer envelope, it is important to use the correct titles (Mr., Ms., etc.) and spell out names in full, without any abbreviations or middle initials. The inner envelope is more informal, and you can use just the last names or even just the first names of the guests.

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the person's preferred title. If you are unsure, it is best to forgo the title altogether and use only their name. The outer envelope should include the person's full name, including their personal title. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson" or "Mr. James Montgomery".

If the single person is a female, use "Ms." if she is over 18. For younger females, "Miss" is more acceptable and should be spelled out rather than abbreviated. For a single male, use "Mr." if he is over 18; otherwise, no title is necessary.

When addressing a single person with a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply write the person's name and "and Guest" on the inner envelope, for example, "Ms. Stephanie Chen and Guest".

It is also worth noting that if you are addressing a non-binary individual, you can use the honorific "Mx." If you are unsure of their preferred title, it is best to ask.

Addressing a family

When addressing a family on a wedding invitation, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited. If you want to keep it general, simply address the envelope to the "The [Last name] Family".

If you want to be specific about who is invited, write the names of each family member individually. Begin with the parent or parents' names, listing invited children's names in order of age below. For girls under 18, use "Miss" as their title, and for boys under 16, they do not need a title.

Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

It is important to list each child's name if they are invited, as failing to do so may imply that children are not invited.

Frequently asked questions