Wedding Invites: Including Your Registry Details Gracefully

Wedding invitation etiquette is a tricky business, and one of the most common questions asked by couples is whether or not to include their registry information on the invite. The general consensus is that it is best not to include this information directly on the invitation itself, as this could be interpreted as a request for gifts, giving off an unintended impression of greed. However, there are other ways to inform your guests about your registry, such as including a link to your wedding website on an enclosure card, or simply relying on word of mouth.

Why you shouldn't put your registry on wedding invitations

While it is important to inform your guests about your wedding registry, there are several reasons why you shouldn't put your registry on your wedding invitations:

• It can be interpreted as rude or aggressive: Asking for gifts directly can come across as rude, and including registry information on your wedding invitations can signal to guests that receiving gifts is just as important, or even more important, than sharing your special day with them.
• It may give the wrong impression about gifts: Wedding invitations should focus on building excitement for the celebration, and including registry details may make guests feel obligated to bring a present, even if their presence is what matters most.
• It's against traditional etiquette rules: According to traditional etiquette, including registry information on the wedding invitation itself is a major faux pas and should be avoided.
• There are more subtle ways to share your registry: Instead of putting the registry on the invitation, you can include a link to your wedding website, where guests can easily find your registry along with other wedding details. This approach is more subtle and considered acceptable.
• Word of mouth is still effective: Before the age of wedding websites, guests would inquire about registries with the couple's family, VIPs, and attendants. Sharing the registry details with your close family and bridal party, and letting them spread the word, is a traditional and effective way to inform your guests.

How to share your registry with guests

It is considered a major faux pas to put your registry information directly on your wedding invitations. It is interpreted as a request for gifts, so do not put wedding registry information anywhere on the invitation card itself. However, there are several other ways to share your registry details with your guests. Here are some suggestions:

• Include an informational insert in the envelope with a link to your wedding website. Your wedding website is a central location for guests to access all wedding-related information, so they will expect to find your wedding registry there.
• Include an invitation enclosure card with your wedding invitations. This is a small card that includes additional information that is not printed on the invitation card itself. You can include the URL of your wedding website on this card, allowing guests to access your registry without explicitly stating it on the invitation.
• Put your wedding website on your "save the date" announcement. This is a good way to spread the word about your website, and guests can then find the registry information themselves.
• Include your registry information on your bridal shower invitations. Bridal showers are all about gift-giving, so it is perfectly acceptable for the host to include registry details on the invitations.
• Spread the word through word of mouth. Inform your immediate family, bridesmaids, and groomsmen about your registry, and they can share the information with anyone who asks.
• Include a separate enclosure card with guest accommodations, your wedding website link, and other information. This keeps the reception card from being too cluttered.
• If you are using an online RSVP process, include the website address on the invitation enclosure card.

What to include on an enclosure card

Enclosure cards are a great way to provide guests with additional information about your wedding day. They are small pieces of paper that are included inside your wedding invitations and can be used to share extra details that are important to your big day, while keeping your invitations neat and uncluttered. Here is some information on what to include on an enclosure card:

Reception Card:

If your reception is at a different location from your ceremony, a reception card can be used to provide details such as the venue name, address, and start time. You can also include any relevant parking instructions and transportation details for guests travelling between the ceremony and reception venues.

Response Card:

Response cards, also known as RSVP cards, are essential for getting an official headcount and planning for the big day. They typically include a deadline to respond by, space for guests to write their names, and a way to indicate the number of guests attending and their meal preferences. It is recommended to set a reply-by date at least four weeks in advance of the wedding.

Accommodation Card:

If you have reserved hotel room blocks for out-of-town guests or have group rates at nearby hotels, an accommodation card can be used to share this information. Include the hotel name, address, and any relevant booking codes or special arrangements. You may also want to include the hotel's phone number and information about shuttle services provided.

Attire Card:

If your wedding has a specific dress code or theme, an attire card can be used to inform guests of the appropriate attire. For example, if your wedding is on a military base or at a beach, guests will need to know what to wear.

Direction Card:

Direction cards provide guests with instructions on how to get to your wedding venue. Include official instructions from each direction, so guests can easily find their way. You may also want to include parking information and alternative transportation options.

Map Card:

A map card can be helpful if your wedding venue is difficult to find or doesn't show up properly on GPS. It can be included along with a direction card or as a fun, illustrated map insert.

Wedding Itinerary:

An itinerary card can be used to list all the wedding-related events that are open to all guests, such as a welcome brunch, group activity, or post-wedding gathering. Include the date, time, and a brief description of each event.

Remember, it's best to keep the information on enclosure cards concise and direct. You don't want to exceed three enclosure cards in your invitation, so choose the most important details and direct guests to your wedding website for additional information.

How to spread the word about your registry

While it is considered a major faux pas to include your registry information on your wedding invitations, there are several other ways to let your guests know about it. Here are some tips to help you spread the word about your wedding registry while maintaining proper etiquette:

Include an informational insert in the invitation envelope: While your formal invitation should not mention gifts, you can include an extra card in the envelope with a link to your wedding website. This approach is much more subtle and allows guests to easily access your registry without feeling pressured.

Create a wedding website: A wedding website serves as a one-stop shop for all your wedding information, including your registry. Include links to the online stores where guests can find your registry and choose their gifts conveniently. Just remember to use careful wording, such as "If you wish to give a gift to the bride and groom..." to ensure guests know that gift-giving is optional.

Spread the word through family and friends: Word of mouth is a traditional and effective way to inform guests about your registry. Tell your close family members, bridal party, and friends about your registry, and they can spread the word to anyone who asks. This method ensures that those who are interested in giving gifts can easily obtain the necessary information.

Include your registry on bridal shower invitations: Bridal showers are all about gift-giving, so it is perfectly acceptable to include your registry information on the invitations. This way, guests will know what you would like to receive, and the information is likely to spread from shower guests to wedding guests as well.

Add your registry to your save-the-date announcements: While you don't have to mention specific stores or gifts, including your wedding website on your save-the-date cards can be a subtle way to spread the word about your registry. This way, all invited guests will receive the information and can access your registry if they wish to purchase a gift.

Remember, the key is to provide information without making it seem like gifts are the main focus of your wedding. By using these methods, you can inform your guests about your registry while maintaining proper etiquette and ensuring a positive experience for everyone involved.

The importance of a wedding website

While it is considered a major faux pas to include your registry information on your wedding invitations, you can include a link to your wedding website on an enclosure card. This way, guests can access all the information they need about your wedding, including registry details, without you having to ask for gifts directly.

A wedding website is a highly beneficial tool for couples planning their big day and their guests. It is a central hub of information, easily accessible from any device, that can be personalised to reflect the couple and their wedding. Here are some reasons why a wedding website is so important:

Streamlines Planning and Communication

A wedding website can be a godsend for organisation, helping you to keep track of everything from budgets and guest lists to RSVPs and dietary requirements. It also provides a simple way to communicate any last-minute changes, such as wet weather plans, to your guests quickly and efficiently.

Conveys Additional Information

A wedding website allows you to include much more information than a paper invitation. You can provide specific directions, accommodation suggestions, and even a FAQ section to answer any questions your guests may have. This is especially useful for destination weddings, where guests are relying on you for travel tips and recommendations.

Sets the Tone for the Day

A personalised wedding website can give guests a sneak peek into what to expect on the day, from the look and feel of the event to an insight into the couple's relationship. It's a great way to build excitement and form connections with guests who may not know you or your partner well.

Cost-Effective and Eco-Friendly

Creating a wedding website can save you time and money in the long run. It reduces the costs of invitations and RSVP cards and is a more eco-friendly option, eliminating paper waste.

An Everlasting Memento

Your wedding website can be customised with your love story, photos, and even a virtual guest book. It becomes a beautiful, digital keepsake of your special day that you and your guests can reminisce over for years to come.

Frequently asked questions