Addressing Wedding Invites: Divorced Guests, A Guide For Hosts

Addressing wedding invitations can be a tedious part of wedding planning, and it's important to get it right to avoid offending your guests. When addressing a divorced woman, you can use Ms. or Mrs. followed by either her ex-husband's surname (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference. For example, Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon or Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway. If the divorced woman has children over the age of 18, they should receive their own invitation.

Divorced woman using married name

When addressing wedding invitations to divorced women who use their married name, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is essential to use the guest's full, formal name. In this case, the woman's title would be "Mrs." or "Ms." followed by her married last name. This is the basic etiquette for addressing invitations and ensures the guest feels respected and valued.

If the wedding invitation includes an inner envelope, on this envelope, refer to the invitee using only their title and last name. For example, "Mrs. Smith" or "Ms. Smith". This is in keeping with the more informal nature of inner envelopes.

If the divorced woman is bringing a guest, their name can be included on the inner envelope as well. For example, "Mrs. Smith and Guest". It is important to note that the phrase "and guest" is written in lowercase letters.

It is worth mentioning that some divorced women may prefer to be addressed by their first name only, especially in modern, casual weddings. In such cases, it is advisable to confirm their preferred title and name directly with them to ensure they feel comfortable and respected.

Lastly, it is important to remember that a divorced woman's choice to use her married name is her right, and there are various reasons why she may choose to do so. These reasons can include wanting to maintain a consistent identity, especially if she is well-known by that name, or wanting to share the same last name as her children. Respecting her choice and addressing her with her preferred name is essential for making her feel welcomed and valued at the wedding.

Divorced woman using maiden name

When addressing wedding invitations to a divorced woman who has resumed using her maiden name, it is important to be mindful of her preferences and use the correct titles. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• Use "Ms." or "Miss" for a divorced woman: It is appropriate to use the title "Ms." for a divorced woman, regardless of her age. Alternatively, if she is younger, you may use "Miss," which is acceptable and should be spelled out rather than abbreviated.
• Include the woman's full name: Always use the guest's complete, formal name. For example, if the divorced woman has resumed her maiden name, "Smith," you would address her as "Ms. Emma Smith" or "Miss Emma Smith."
• Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations: Ensure that you spell out the full name and avoid abbreviations or nicknames.
• Specify the guest's pronouns: Take the time to find out the guest's preferred pronouns before addressing the envelope. This is especially important if they identify as non-binary or gender non-conforming.
• Be mindful of their marital status: Addressing a divorced woman as "Mrs." may ruffle some feathers. It is best to avoid any titles associated with marital status unless specifically requested by the guest.
• Outer envelope format: On the outer envelope, use the format "Ms. [Guest's Full Name]" or "Miss [Guest's Full Name]" if she is under 18. For example, "Ms. Emma Smith" or "Miss Emma Smith."
• Inner envelope format: The inner envelope is slightly more informal. You may use the guest's title and last name or, if you are very close to the guest, you can use their first name only. For example, "Ms. Smith" or "Emma."

Divorced woman, widowed

When addressing a wedding invitation to a divorced woman, it is generally advised not to use her former husband's name. Many women keep their ex-husband's last name, but others revert to their maiden name, so it is best to ask someone close to her which name she prefers. The outer envelope can then be addressed using "Mrs." or "Ms." and her chosen last name.

For a widowed woman, it is appropriate to use either her deceased husband's first name (e.g., Mrs. John Jones) or her own first name (e.g., Mrs. Kathleen Jones). As with divorced women, the outer envelope can be addressed with "Mrs." or "Ms." followed by her chosen last name.

For both divorced and widowed women, if you are using an inner envelope, you can address them using their title and last name or just their first name if you are very close. For example:

Divorced woman:

• Mrs./Ms. [Last name]
• [First name]

Widowed woman:

• Mrs. [First name] [Last name]
• Mrs. [Last name]
• [First name]

Divorced woman, judge

When addressing a wedding invitation to a divorced woman who is a judge, there are a few different ways to do so depending on whether she has kept her married name or resumed her maiden name, and whether she is attending the wedding with a guest.

If the judge has kept her married name, the outer envelope can be addressed as follows:

> The Honorable [Name] and Mr./Ms. [Name]

If the judge has resumed her maiden name, the outer envelope can be addressed as:

> The Honorable [Name] and Guest

> or

> The Honorable [Name]

If the judge has kept her married name and is bringing a guest, the outer envelope can be addressed as:

> The Honorable [Name] and Mr./Ms. [Name]

If the judge has resumed her maiden name and is bringing a guest, the outer envelope can be addressed as:

> The Honorable [Name] and Guest

For the inner envelope, it is more informal and you have the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope. For example, you could address the inner envelope as:

> Judge [Surname] and Mr./Ms. [Name]

> or

> Judge [Name] and Guest

> or

> Judge [Name]

Divorced man

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single or divorced man, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, always use the man's full, formal name. For example, "Mr. Steven Lewis Nelson". Use his full middle name if you know it, otherwise, omit it. Do not use initials or abbreviations.

If the man has a distinguished title, such as a military rank, it is proper etiquette to address him by that title on the envelope. For instance, "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy".

If the divorced man has children and they are also invited to the wedding, their names should be listed by seniority underneath his name, omitting their last names. For example:

> Mr. Michael Abraham

> Daniel, Jeffrey

If the divorced man is bringing a plus-one, it is preferable to know their name in advance and include it on the envelope. If you do not know their name, you may include "and guest" after the man's full name. For example:

> Mr. Zachary Morris and guest

For inner envelopes, you can be less formal and use titles and last names, or first names only if you are very close with the guest. For example:

> Mr. Morris

> Zachary

If you are sending an invitation without an inner envelope, simply focus on properly addressing the outer envelope as mentioned above.

Frequently asked questions