Crafting Wedding Invites: Guest-List Edition

Wedding invitations are an important part of the planning process. They are often one of the first things your guests will see, touch, and feel, and they convey critical information. The wording of a wedding invitation should include the host line, a proper request line, the couple's names, the date, time, and location of the ceremony, and the reception details. When addressing the invitations, it is important to use the correct titles, full names, and relationship status of the invitees. This can vary depending on whether the guests are married, unmarried, single, or bringing a plus one.

How to address a wedding invitation to a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, there are a few things to keep in mind. Here are some guidelines to help you address these invitations correctly and appropriately:

Use Appropriate Titles

It is important to use the correct titles when addressing a single person. For an unmarried woman, use "Ms." For a single male, use "Mr." unless they are under 18, in which case no title is necessary. If your guest identifies as non-binary, use the honorific "Mx." For a widowed or divorced woman, it is polite to ask if she prefers to be addressed with "Ms." or "Mrs." along with her married name, maiden name, or late husband's name.

Addressing with a Plus-One

If you have offered a plus-one to a single person, there is no need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply address it to the person you are inviting. On the inner envelope, you can use the phrase "and guest" after their name. For example, "Ms. Jessica Spano and guest."

Outer and Inner Envelopes

Traditionally, wedding invitations have both an outer and an inner envelope. The outer envelope is more formal and includes the mailing address, postage, and return address. The inner envelope is more casual and includes only the recipient's name and the invitation suite. When addressing a single person, use their full name and title on the outer envelope and their title and last name or just their first name on the inner envelope.

Examples

Outer envelope: "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Elizabeth"

Outer envelope: "Mr. George Costanza"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Costanza" or "George"

Outer envelope: "Mx. Sam Li"

Inner envelope: "Sam Li and Guest"

Remember to always double-check the preferred titles and names of your guests before addressing the invitations. This will ensure that your guests feel welcomed and respected when receiving your invitation.

How to address a wedding invitation to a family

When sending wedding invitations to a family, it is important to first decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited. If you are happy to invite the whole family, you can address the envelope to the entire family or use the family name. For example:

> The Simpson Family

> Mr. & Mrs. Homer Simpson

If you only want to invite specific members of the family, write the names of each family member in list form, starting with the parent or parents' names, and list the invited children's names in order of age below. Girls under the age of 18 can be addressed as "Miss". For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson

> Mr. Bart Simpson

> Miss Lisa Simpson

If you are using both an outer mailing envelope and an inner envelope, the outer envelope should be reserved for the names of the parents only. The inner envelope can then include the names of any children who are invited. For example:

> Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

> Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany and Mx. Kelly

If you are sending wedding invitations without an inner envelope, which is more common nowadays, simply focus on properly addressing the outer envelope.

How to address a wedding invitation to a married couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, the names should be written on the same line. For heterosexual couples, use "Mr." for the husband and "Mrs." for the wife, spelling out the husband's first and last name, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For same-sex couples, either name can come first.

If the couple has different last names, write the woman's name first, and if the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately, e.g., "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

In the case of a spouse with a hyphenated last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft", with the inner envelope as "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or the couple's first names.

The inner envelope is more informal, so you can leave out elements of the formal name format. For a more casual vibe, using just first names is also acceptable.

How to address a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this tricky area of wedding etiquette:

If the Couple Lives Together:

It is essential to include both guests' full names – first and last – on the invitation, even if you have never met the significant other. If you know both individuals in the relationship, there is no excuse for not listing both names. The outer envelope can be formatted as:

> Mr. Stanley Kim

> Ms. Amanda Rhee

For the inner envelope, you can use a more informal tone:

> Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee

> Stanley and Amanda

If the Couple Lives Separately:

When an unmarried couple does not share a home, it is ideal to send separate invitations to each person. However, it has become acceptable to send a single invitation to the primary guest. In this case, include the significant other's name on the inner envelope. If you are friends with both partners and would invite them individually, it is best to send separate invitations to their respective addresses.

Additional Tips:

If you cannot obtain the name of the other guest before sending out the invitations, you may write “and guest” on the outer envelope. However, it is preferable to learn the name beforehand to address them directly. If the couple breaks up before the wedding, it is a kind gesture to allow them to bring another guest, such as a family member or friend.

In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, it is important to include both partners' names if they live together. If they live separately, you can send individual invitations or a joint invitation with both names included. Remember to adjust the tone between the outer and inner envelopes, with the latter being more informal.

How to address a wedding invitation to someone with a distinguished title

When addressing a wedding invitation to someone with a distinguished title, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles or prefixes, such as "Dr." for doctors, "The Honorable" for judges, and military ranks for military personnel. Secondly, the person with the distinguished title should be listed first on the invitation, regardless of gender. Finally, you can choose to spell out the full title or use the abbreviation, depending on the type of title. For example, for medical doctors, you should spell out the word "Doctor", while for academic doctors, you can use the abbreviation "Dr.".

For a single doctor:

• Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Mr. Peter Underwood"
• Inner envelope: "Dr. Takata and Mr. Underwood" or "Tami and Peter"

For a married couple where one partner is a doctor:

• Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Mr. Peter Underwood" or "Doctor Tami and Mr. Peter Underwood"
• Inner envelope: "Dr. Takata and Mr. Underwood" or "Tami and Peter"

For a married couple where both partners are doctors:

• Outer envelope: "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith"
• Inner envelope: "The Doctors Smith" or "Matthew and Angela"

For a military officer:

• Outer envelope: "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly"
• Inner envelope: "Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly"

For a judge:

• Outer envelope: "The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez"
• Inner envelope: "Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez"

These are just a few examples, but the key is to use the correct titles and list the person with the distinguished title first. It is also important to consider the formality of your wedding and your relationship with the guest when deciding how formal to make the invitation.

Frequently asked questions