Crafting Wedding Invites: Excluding Children Gracefully

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding whether or not to invite children. If you're opting for a child-free celebration, it's important to communicate this clearly and politely to your guests. Here are some tips and examples to help you word your wedding invitations in a way that excludes children without causing any offence.

Addressing the invitation

Be Direct and Clear

It is essential to be direct and clear in your invitation wording. Avoid being too subtle as your message may be missed. A straightforward approach ensures your guests understand your wishes. For example, you could say, "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock" or "This is an adult-only celebration."

Address Invitations to Specific Individuals

Rather than addressing the invitation to "The Smith Family", specify the names of those invited, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." This makes it clear that children are not included. You can also indicate the number of seats reserved for the invited guests, such as "X seats have been reserved in your honour."

Include an RSVP Card

On your RSVP card, you can reinforce the adults-only request. For example, you could say, "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception" or specify the number of adults attending and declining, such as "___ adults would love to attend ___ regrettably we are unable to attend."

Personalise the Response Cards

Another way to ensure clarity is to personalise each response card with the names of the invited guests. This leaves no room for ambiguity and helps your guests understand who is invited.

Provide a Phone Call Explanation

If you feel it is necessary, you can also call guests with children to explain your adults-only request. This allows for a more personal conversation and can help avoid any potential misunderstandings.

Use a Wedding Website

If you have a wedding website, you can also mention your adults-only policy there. This provides additional context and information for your guests, especially if you want to explain your reasons or provide suggestions for childcare arrangements.

Remember, it is your special day, and you are entitled to decide how you want to spend it. Be considerate in your wording, but don't be afraid to set clear boundaries. By addressing the invitations appropriately, you can help ensure your guests understand your wishes for an adults-only celebration.

RSVP cards

Deciding on whether or not to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky conversation. Here are some suggestions for wording your RSVP cards to exclude children, while keeping the tone polite and instructive:

When you want to keep it short and sweet

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• "The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception."
• "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony."
• "Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children – thank you for your understanding."

When budget or space is limited

• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to restricted numbers."
• "Regrettably, our chosen venue is unable to accommodate children. Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel."
• "Due to space constraints, we are only able to invite the children of immediate family to our reception."
• "Due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend."

When you want to kick curfews to the curb

• "To allow all wedding guests, including parents, a night of relaxation and revelry, we respectfully ask that no children attend the reception."
• "We love your kids, but we thought you might like a night off. Adults only, please!"
• "To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without worry, we politely request no children."
• "We hope you will understand our decision to make the wedding children-free, and take the opportunity to celebrate in style!"
• "To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen to make our special day adults only. We thank you for your understanding."

When you're including newborns, nieces and nephews

• "Children of immediate family only, please."
• "Respectfully, an adult occasion (18+). Infants under 12 months are welcome."
• "Due to limited numbers, we hope you appreciate that only named children are invited."
• "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at our reception."
• "We wish we could include all children, but are only able to invite immediate family."
• "Due to necessity, we are only able to accommodate children of immediate family. We hope you understand and enjoy your night off!"

Other suggestions:

• "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour. Please let us know if you will be joining us."
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."
• "Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding."
• "We are unable to invite children to our wedding. We hope that this advance notice means you are still able to attend."
• "We are sorry that we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding."
• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "We politely request that there be no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."

Phone calls

If you're planning to exclude children from your wedding, it's important to communicate this clearly to your guests. Here are some suggestions for what to say over a phone call:

Be Direct and Honest

It's best to be upfront and honest about your decision to have a child-free wedding. You could say something like:

> "We want to let you know that our wedding will be an adult-only event. We hope you understand, and we would be delighted if you could join us."

Emphasize the Need for Advanced Notice

Explain to your guests that you wanted to give them a heads-up as early as possible so that they can make the necessary arrangements:

> "We're calling to let you know that due to venue restrictions or budget constraints, we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding. We wanted to give you advanced notice so that you can plan accordingly. We hope that you'll still be able to attend and enjoy a night off!"

Mention Safety or Space Limitations

If your venue has limited space or isn't suitable for children, you can mention this as the reason for your decision:

> "Our venue has some space limitations, and we feel it's not a child-safe environment. So, we kindly request that this be an adult-only celebration."

Offer Alternatives or Assistance

If you're concerned about putting a burden on guests with children, you can offer to help arrange childcare or suggest alternatives:

> "We completely understand if you're unable to attend without your children. We'd be happy to recommend some local babysitting services or help in any way we can. Alternatively, children are welcome to attend the ceremony, but we respectfully request that the reception be adults-only."

Remember, it's essential to be consistent with your policy and make any exceptions clear to avoid confusion. Be prepared for some guests to be unable or unwilling to attend without their children, and try to be understanding of their situation.

Wedding websites

How to Word Wedding Invites Excluding Children

Planning a wedding can be a tricky business, and deciding whether to invite children is one of the most difficult guest list questions. If you've decided not to invite children, it's important to communicate this clearly and politely to your guests. Here are some tips and examples to help you word your wedding website in a way that conveys your adults-only policy while still being considerate to your guests.

Be Clear and Direct:

• Use phrases such as "adults-only reception," "adults-only celebration," or "adults-only wedding."
• Specify the age limit, such as "18+ only" or "no children under 16/18."
• Clearly state that children are not invited: "Please note that children are not included in this invitation."

Provide an Explanation:

• Explain that you have limited space or budget constraints: "Due to limited venue space, adults only, please."
• Mention the style of the event: "We are hosting an intimate ceremony and cocktail reception at a downtown nightclub, so we kindly request no children."
• Express your wishes for your guests to relax and enjoy themselves: "We want all our guests, including parents, to have a night of relaxation, so we respectfully request no children."

Address Exceptions:

• If you are inviting children from your immediate family or wedding party, be clear about this: "Children of immediate family only, please."
• If you are allowing babies, mention this: "Please note that this is an adult-only wedding, but infants under 12 months are welcome."

Offer Alternatives:

• Consider offering a creche or babysitting services: "We understand that finding childcare can be challenging, so we will be providing a creche during the wedding. Please see our website for details."
• If you are close to certain children, consider including a personal note with the invitations to express your apologies for not including them.

Consistency is Key:

• Apply the rule consistently to all guests to avoid any confusion or hard feelings.
• Be prepared for some parents to decline the invitation or leave early if they cannot find alternative arrangements for their children.

Remember, it's your special day, and you are allowed to set the guest list as you see fit. Choose your words carefully, and don't be afraid to be direct while still maintaining a polite and considerate tone.

Personalised notes

If you are particularly close to friends or family with children, it's a nice idea to include a personalised note with the invitations to reiterate that you're sorry not to be able to include their little ones. Here are some examples:

"We'd love to have Lexie and Max there but unfortunately, we're limited by budget/space constraints. We hope you can still make it."

"We truly wish we could invite all our guests' children to our wedding, however, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families."

"We'd love to have [name] and [name] there but unfortunately, we're limited by budget/space constraints. We hope you understand and enjoy your night off!"

"We're only able to accommodate the children of immediate family. We hope you understand and we'd love to see you there."

"We're sorry that we can't invite [name] and [name] to the wedding. We hope that you're still able to attend."

"We're only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at our reception. We hope you understand."

"We're sorry that we can't invite all children to the wedding. Due to limited space, we're only able to invite children over 12 years old."

"We're sorry that we can't invite all children to the wedding. Due to the nature of our venue, we're only able to invite children in the bridal party and those over 12."

"We're sorry that we can't invite [name] and [name] to the wedding. We're happy to help with babysitting arrangements if you need any recommendations."

"We're sorry that we can't invite children to our wedding. We hope that with enough notice, you're still able to attend."

"We're sorry that we can't invite all children to the wedding. We're keeping numbers limited to ensure that all our guests, including parents, can relax and enjoy themselves."

Frequently asked questions