Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Timing And Tips For Your Big Day

Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex and often confusing topic. From the timing of sending out invites to the inclusion of registry information, there are many potential pitfalls for couples to navigate. One of the most important considerations is timing—invitations should be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, or three months in advance if no save-the-date cards have been sent. It's also crucial to give guests enough time to RSVP, usually setting a deadline of two to four weeks before the wedding. In terms of the invitation itself, it's generally considered poor taste to include registry information or gift suggestions. Instead, this information can be included on a wedding website or spread by word of mouth. Another potential issue is correctly addressing the invitations—it's important to include the names of significant others, rather than simply adding and guest.

When to send wedding invitations

Wedding invitation etiquette is a tricky business, but it's important to get it right. Here's a guide to when you should send your wedding invitations.

Save the Dates

Firstly, it's worth noting that save-the-date cards are sent before invitations. These can be sent up to a year in advance, but no later than six months before your wedding. Sending these early gives your guests plenty of time to make arrangements. Save-the-dates are especially important if you're having a destination wedding.

Invitations

Wedding invitations are typically sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding date. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements. However, if you haven't sent save-the-date cards, you may want to send your invitations out around three months in advance.

RSVP Dates

It's important to give your guests enough time to respond to your invitation, but you don't want them to forget, so it's a good idea to ask for responses around two to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you plenty of time to get a final headcount for your vendors.

What time to put on the invitations

When it comes to wedding invitations, timing is everything. Not only do you need to send them out with enough time for your guests to prepare, but you also need to be mindful of the time you put on the invitations themselves.

Firstly, it's important to send your invitations out around six to eight weeks before the wedding date if you've already sent out save the date cards. If you haven't sent these, you may want to send your invitations around three months in advance. For destination weddings, it's a good idea to give your guests even more time, so they can make the necessary travel arrangements.

Now, onto the time you should include on the invitations themselves. It's generally recommended that you include the start time of the ceremony, as well as a simple "reception to follow" if the reception is at the same location. If the reception is elsewhere, include the time and location on a separate reception card.

Be sure to indicate the correct start time. While it may be tempting to put an earlier time on the invitation to ensure guests arrive on time, this could result in your loved ones waiting much longer than necessary. Wedding guests tend to arrive early, so if you plan to begin the ceremony at 5 pm, expect guests to arrive between 4:30 and 4:45 pm.

In terms of formatting, the time of day should be spelled out in full. For example, "four o'clock" or "half after four o'clock". Evening begins at five o'clock, and from noon until four o'clock is considered the afternoon.

How to address the envelopes

When addressing the envelopes for your wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure you follow proper etiquette. Here are some detailed instructions to help you with this task:

Use Full Names and Appropriate Titles

It is considered good etiquette to use the full names of your guests on the envelopes, including their titles (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., Dr.). Avoid using nicknames or initials. For married couples, address them as "Mr. and Mrs." or "Mr. and Mr." For guests who are in a relationship but not married, it is polite to include the name of their significant other on the envelope if you know it. If you are unsure of the name or spelling, it is acceptable to address the envelope to the guest and include "and Guest."

Be Clear About Who Is Invited

If you are inviting a couple with children, be clear about who is invited. Avoid using "The Smith Family" if only the parents are invited. Instead, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." If you are inviting a guest with a plus-one, write their name and "and Guest." For single guests without a plus-one, simply address the envelope to the individual's name.

Handwrite the Addresses

While it may be tempting to use address labels for convenience, handwrite the addresses on the envelopes. This adds a personal touch and is considered more formal for wedding invitations.

Include Return Address and Postage

Don't forget to include a return address on the envelopes. This is important in case an invitation gets lost or needs to be returned. The return address is usually placed on the back flap of the envelope. Also, remember to include postage stamps on both the outer envelope and the RSVP envelope. It is considered rude to expect your guests to pay for postage.

Provide Clear RSVP Instructions

Give your guests clear instructions on how to RSVP. Include a specific date by which they should respond, typically two to four weeks before the wedding. Provide a pre-addressed envelope for mail responses or direct them to a specific email, phone number, or wedding website where they can RSVP.

Allow Enough Time for Mailing

Finally, make sure you allow enough time for mailing the invitations. For non-destination weddings, send the invitations six to eight weeks in advance. For destination weddings or if many guests are travelling, it is considerate to send them out twelve weeks in advance to give your guests ample time to make travel arrangements.

Whether to include RSVP cards

Whether or not to include RSVP cards in your wedding invitation is a matter of personal preference. However, there are some advantages and considerations to keep in mind when making your decision. Here are some paragraphs discussing the topic in detail:

The Benefits of Including RSVP Cards

Including RSVP cards in your wedding invitations can provide a more accurate headcount for your big day. This is crucial for creating food, seating charts, place cards, and other wedding elements. It also allows you to inform attendees of the event's significance. By setting a deadline for responses, typically two to four weeks before the wedding, you can finalise the guest list and provide a final headcount to your caterer and venue. Additionally, physical RSVP cards can add a personal touch to your invitations and can be designed to match the rest of your wedding stationery.

Digital RSVPs as an Alternative

In today's digital age, many couples are opting for online RSVPs through their wedding website or email. This method can be more convenient and cost-effective for both you and your guests, especially if you have a lot of tech-savvy loved ones. However, it is important to consider that some older guests may not be comfortable using online platforms to respond. In such cases, offering both digital and paper RSVP options can be a great solution.

Things to Consider When Including RSVP Cards

If you decide to include RSVP cards, it is important to follow proper etiquette. Ensure that the RSVP cards are placed face up under the flap of the return envelope and are not put inside the envelope. The envelopes should be addressed to you and your partner, with postage already applied. Additionally, don't forget to include an "RSVP by" date on the cards and give your guests enough time to respond, typically three to four weeks. It is also a good idea to include pre-addressed and stamped envelopes to make it convenient for your guests to send back their responses.

Final Thoughts

Whether you choose to include RSVP cards or opt for digital responses, the most important aspect is to provide clear instructions to your guests and give them ample time to respond. This will help ensure a smooth planning process and allow you to finalise all the necessary details for your wedding day.

How to word the invitations

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to include all the necessary information, such as the hosts, the couple, the venue, and the start time. Other details such as pre- and post-wedding events, hotel information, and dress code can be included on a separate details card or on your wedding website.

If the bride's parents are hosting the wedding, traditional etiquette dictates that their names come first, followed by the groom's parents' names. If both sets of parents are hosting, the bride's parents' names are listed first, followed by the groom's. For same-sex couples, the names can be listed in alphabetical order or in the order that looks best with the invitation design.

When indicating the time of the ceremony, it is generally recommended to use phrases such as "half after four o'clock" or "half past four o'clock" instead of "four-thirty". The day of the week and the month should be capitalised, and the year should be spelled out in full, with no "and" between the numbers. For example, "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-four".

It is also important to clarify who is invited by addressing the invitations to specific individuals rather than using general terms such as "The Smith Family". If children are not invited, it is considered poor etiquette to include this information directly on the invitation. Instead, address the invitation to the adults only and include a message on a separate details card or your wedding website.

Finally, while it is not necessary to include registry information on the invitation itself, you can include a link to your wedding website, where guests can find this information.

Frequently asked questions