Adding Humor: Best Man Speech Guide

Being asked to give a best man speech is a huge honour, but it can also be a daunting task. The best man speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, and while it's just 5-10 minutes on the day, it's a memory that will last a lifetime. Most best men feel weighed down by the expectation to be funny, but don't know where to start. The key is to understand your audience and craft a speech that resonates with everyone.

- Know your audience: The wedding reception will be filled with people from different generations and backgrounds, so your job is to create a speech that appeals to everyone. Keep the content classy and relatable to all ages, and avoid inside jokes that will alienate people.

- Mix humour with sincerity: While it's important to add humour to your speech, don't make it all comedy, all the time. Balance the jokes with sweet, sincere moments that show your genuine emotions about the groom and the couple.

- Keep it clean: Avoid dirty jokes, especially if there are children or older family members in the audience.

- Make it personal: Include inside jokes, fun stories, and anecdotes that showcase the groom's unique character and your relationship with him.

- Practice: Rehearse your speech multiple times to perfect your delivery and timing. Record yourself to improve your body language and eliminate nervous tics.

- Keep it concise: Aim for a speech that's around 5 minutes long. Any longer, and you risk losing the audience's attention.

- Be confident: Smile, speak slowly, and project your voice. Remember, your audience wants you to succeed and they want to laugh.

Keep it clean and concise

Keeping your best man speech clean and concise is a surefire way to ensure that it lands well with your audience. Here are some tips to help you craft a speech that's funny, appropriate, and to-the-point.

Keep It Clean

It's important to remember that a wedding reception is a gathering of people from different generations and backgrounds, so your humour should be clean and respectful. Avoid vulgar jokes and steer clear of embarrassing secrets or stories that might make the groom's family or the bride uncomfortable. Opt for lighthearted and good-natured humour that everyone can enjoy.

Focus on the Groom

The best man speech should primarily be about the groom. While it's fine to include the bride, especially when talking about how the couple met and their relationship, the focus should be on celebrating the groom and his journey to this special day. Avoid making jokes about the bride, especially if they might be considered offensive or embarrassing.

Draw From Real-Life Experiences

The best humour is often rooted in truth. Think about the groom's unique characteristics, eccentricities, and guilty pleasures. Does he have any funny habits or rituals? Is he a deep sleeper who can sleep through anything? Perhaps he's a health enthusiast who occasionally indulges in late-night kebabs. Exaggerate and build on these traits to create a comedic character for your speech.

Include Others in the Story

While the groom is the main focus, you can enhance your speech by including others in the narrative. Involve the groomsmen, the bride's party, or even the guests themselves. Share anecdotes that showcase the groom's relationships with his friends and family, but be mindful of inside jokes that might exclude certain guests.

Keep It Concise

A best man speech should typically be kept under 10 minutes, with some sources recommending a shorter duration of 5-7 minutes. Aim for a speech that is concise and to the point, as this will help maintain the energy and engagement of your audience. A shorter speech also increases the impact of your humour, leaving the guests wanting more.

Practice and Prepare

Preparation is key to delivering a successful best man speech. Practice your speech multiple times, memorise it if possible, and use cue cards on the day to guide you. Record yourself practising to refine your delivery, work on your body language, and eliminate any nervous tics. The more prepared you are, the more confident you'll feel when delivering your speech.

Make it personal

Making your best man speech personal is a great way to add humour and make the speech memorable. It's an opportunity to share heartfelt words about the couple and celebrate the groom's friendship. Here are some tips to make your speech personal:

Share Relatable and Appropriate Stories

Incorporate personal stories that give the audience insight into your friendship with the groom. Opt for stories that are relatable and appropriate for all guests. Start with a story about how you met the groom or share a memorable experience. For example, "I first met John during our college orientation. We bonded over our shared love for terrible puns and our inability to cook anything more complex than instant noodles."

Showcase the Groom's Positive Qualities

Include stories that showcase the groom's positive qualities, such as loyalty, kindness, or courage. This helps paint a well-rounded picture of his character. For instance, "John has always been there for me, through thick and thin. He's the kind of friend who would give you the shirt off his back."

Include a Story About the Couple

Don't forget to include a story about the couple and how they met. This adds a romantic touch to your speech and acknowledges the bride's importance in the groom's life. You could say something like, "I remember when [Groom] first met [Bride]. He was so nervous he introduced himself twice. She thought he had a twin, and still agreed to a second date."

Be Authentic and Speak from the Heart

Your genuine emotions will resonate more with the audience than a perfectly polished speech. Be yourself, and don't be afraid to show your sentimental side. Share your genuine feelings about the groom and his new spouse. "John, you're my best friend. [Bride], you're the best thing that's ever happened to him. Together, you're simply the best."

Incorporate Inside Jokes

While you want to avoid too many inside jokes, including a few can make your speech more personal and engaging for those who are in on the joke. Just make sure to provide enough context so that other guests can still follow along. For example, "John and I go way back. In fact, we're so close that we once tried to pass off chocolate-covered brussels sprouts as a delicacy. Thankfully, [Bride] has introduced him to the wonderful world of vegetables."

Remember, the key to making your best man speech personal is to share stories and anecdotes that reflect your unique relationship with the groom and celebrate his friendship with the bride. Speak from the heart, and don't be afraid to let your personality shine through!

Include a mix of humour and sincerity

Including a mix of humour and sincerity in your best man's speech is a great way to keep your audience engaged and entertained. Here are some tips and tricks to achieve this delicate balance:

Know Your Audience

It is crucial to understand your audience before crafting your speech. The wedding reception will be attended by people from different generations, backgrounds, and relationships to the couple. Your goal is to create a speech that resonates with everyone. Consider the family circle, friends, and the bride's side. Tailor your humour and stories to suit each group while maintaining a universal appeal. For example, when addressing the family, opt for clean and respectful humour, sharing touching stories about the groom's journey.

Mix Humour with Sweet Moments

While humour is essential, avoid making your speech solely comedic. Include sincere and heartfelt moments that showcase your genuine emotions about the groom and the couple. Share stories or anecdotes that highlight the groom's growth, maturity, or positive changes since meeting the bride. This will add a layer of sincerity to your speech.

Use Self-Deprecating Humour

Making yourself the target of jokes can be an effective way to break the ice and connect with your audience. It shows humility and creates goodwill. However, use this technique sparingly—two or three self-deprecating jokes are usually enough. Keep them light and relatable, and use them as a transition into praising the couple.

Incorporate Inside Jokes and Fun Stories

Including inside jokes and fun stories about the groom can make your speech more personal and engaging. However, provide context for others who may not be in the know. This way, you can create a sense of inclusion for all guests while still enjoying some light-hearted moments with those "in the know."

Structure Your Speech

A well-structured speech will help you balance humour and sincerity effectively. Start with a strong opening that introduces yourself, breaks the ice, and includes a warm greeting for the guests. Move on to the main content, where you can share stories and anecdotes about the groom's life, including his early friendships, how he met the bride, and their relationship growth. Conclude with a heartfelt wish for the couple, a callback to earlier jokes, and a traditional toast.

Practice and Edit Your Speech

Don't underestimate the power of practice and editing. Rehearse your speech multiple times to perfect your delivery and timing. Edit and refine your speech to ensure clarity and flow. This will help you strike the right balance between humour and sincerity.

Practice your delivery

Practice makes perfect. The more you practice your best man speech, the more confident you will feel on the day. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself, or perform it for friends and family. This will help you refine your speech and improve your body language and delivery. Here are some specific tips to help you nail your delivery:

• Speak slowly and clearly: Enthusiasm is great, but don't rush your speech. Speaking a little slower than your normal pace will help you enunciate clearly and ensure your audience doesn't miss a word.
• Vary your volume: Emphasise certain words or punchlines by raising or lowering your volume. This will add interest and impact to your speech.
• Pause for effect: Pause before delivering punchlines to build anticipation. Also, allow a few seconds after each joke for the laughter to subside before continuing.
• Use hand gestures sparingly: Keep your hands visible, but don't overuse gestures. Use them purposefully to emphasise a point or add humour to your delivery.
• Maintain eye contact: Connect with your audience by making eye contact with individuals for a few seconds at a time. Scan the room in a "W" pattern to ensure you engage with guests on both sides.
• Be confident: Fake it till you make it! Smile, stand straight, and project your voice. Your audience wants you to succeed, so exude confidence, even if you're feeling nervous.
• Edit and refine: As you practice, you may find certain parts of your speech that could be improved. Edit and refine your speech until it flows smoothly and feels comfortable to deliver.
• Know your audience: Keep in mind the different generations and backgrounds of the people in your audience. Avoid inappropriate jokes and aim for humour that will resonate with everyone.
• Keep it short and sweet: Aim for a speech of around 5 minutes. This will help maintain your audience's interest and attention.
• Breathe and relax: Use breathing exercises and power poses to calm your nerves before your speech. It's normal to feel nervous, but try to channel that energy into enthusiasm and passion.

Be confident

Confidence is key when it comes to delivering a best man's speech. Here are some tips to help you deliver your speech with confidence and make the guests laugh:

Practice makes perfect

The more you practice your speech, the more confident you will become when delivering it. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself, or perform it for friends and family. The more you say it, the more natural it will feel. This will help you to feel less nervous on the day and will ensure your delivery is smooth and confident.

Know your audience

Understanding your audience is crucial. The wedding reception will be filled with people from different generations and backgrounds, so your job is to create a speech that resonates with everyone. Keep the humour clean and respectful, especially when addressing the family circle. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand and steer clear of inappropriate jokes.

Keep it short and sweet

A short speech will help to maintain the guests' attention and will ensure your confidence remains high throughout. Aim for around 5 minutes. This will also leave the guests wanting more.

Inject some humour

A little humour will help to relax both you and the audience. Start with an ice-breaker joke to settle your nerves and make the guests laugh. You could try a self-deprecating joke or a light-hearted roast of the groom. Just remember to keep it good-natured and avoid anything that could cause offence.

Be yourself

Stay true to yourself and your natural style. The most memorable speeches incorporate personal stories and genuine emotions. Don't try to be a stand-up comedian if that's not your thing. Let your personality shine through and the guests will appreciate your authenticity.

Have fun!

Remember to enjoy yourself! If you're having fun, the guests will too. Smile, relax, and take your time. Your confidence will shine through and your speech will be a hit!

Frequently asked questions