The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidant throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. While there are no set rules, the role is typically given to a close friend or relative of the groom, such as a brother. The best man is usually in charge of planning the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for the groom's side, and providing emotional support. Other duties include helping to choose the wedding attire, holding the wedding rings, greeting guests, and giving a speech. Ultimately, the best man is responsible for ensuring the groom and groomsmen are where they need to be and that everything runs smoothly on the day.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Main role | Celebrity of the crew |
Speech | Hilarious and sometimes embarrassing |
Bachelor party | In charge of planning and organizing |
Point of contact | For everyone on the groom's side |
Gift | Collect money from groomsmen and purchase a gift for the groom |
Wedding attire | Help the groom and groomsmen to pick out their wedding-day attire |
Rings | Keep the wedding rings safe |
Guests | Greet and welcome guests |
Schedule | Keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule |
Witnesses | Sign the marriage license as a witness |
Reception | Ensure all guests are having a good time |
Master of Ceremonies | Announce key elements |
Dance | Dance with the maid of honour |
Gifts | Take care of wedding gifts |
What You'll Learn
Choosing a best man: family vs friends
Choosing a best man is a highly personal decision and can be a difficult one, especially if you have a large circle of close friends and family. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, tasked with a multitude of important duties before, during, and after the wedding. So, it's important to choose someone reliable, capable, and trustworthy.
Family vs Friends
Family is often chosen over friends for the role of best man. A brother, for example, knows the groom inside out, will likely have a good relationship with the bride, and will know what kind of bachelor party to throw. However, this doesn't mean that a friend can't fulfil the role just as well. A close friend, especially one who has known the groom for a long time, can be a great choice for best man. They may have been through different life stages together and have a deep emotional connection.
If you are torn between choosing a family member and a friend, it may help to consider other factors. For example, who lives closest to you? Someone who lives nearby may be more involved in the wedding planning process and can offer more support and advice. You may also want to consider who knows your future spouse well. A friend who knows your partner and has a good relationship with them can make the celebration feel more genuine and special.
Other Considerations
If you are still undecided, there are a few other things to think about:
- Sociability: The best man will need to relate to other people in a friendly and confident manner, so choose someone who is a people person.
- Discretion: The best man's speech is a highlight of the wedding. If you think someone might say something embarrassing or inappropriate, it's best to choose someone else.
- Organisation: The best man will need to be well-organised and task-oriented, helping with wedding preparations and coordinating the groomsmen.
- Availability: The role of the best man is time-consuming, so choose someone who has the time to commit to your wedding.
- Reliability: The best man should be dependable and able to meet their commitments. Avoid friends who are always busy or can't stay off their phones.
Remember, there is no rule that says you can't have two best men if you can't decide or want to honour multiple people!
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Bachelor party planning
Planning a bachelor party can be a daunting task, but with the right approach and some helpful tips, it can be a fun and memorable experience for everyone involved. Here are some instructive guidelines for planning an enjoyable bachelor party:
Communicate with the Groom:
It is essential to communicate with the groom and understand his preferences. Ask him about his likes, dislikes, and any specific activities or themes he has in mind. Does he prefer a calm camping trip or an adventurous ATV ride? Involve him in the planning process and ensure the party aligns with his interests.
Finalise the Guest List:
The guest list typically includes the groomsmen and the groom's close friends and family members. Consult with the groom to ensure that everyone he wants to be there is invited. It is also important to consider the group's dynamics and comfort levels. Gauge their willingness to step outside their comfort zone and try to avoid planning an event that some people may not be interested in.
Determine the Budget:
Discuss financial constraints with the groom and the guests. Be mindful of varying budgets and try to plan activities that are affordable for everyone. The attendees usually cover their costs, but sometimes the groom's expenses are covered by the group, so factor that into the planning.
Pick a Theme or Style:
Decide on a theme or style for the party. Are you going for a relaxed weekend getaway or an action-packed adventure trip? Popular themes include golf trips, camping, sporting events, or fancy dinners. Choose a theme that suits the groom's interests and the group's dynamics.
Choose a Date and Location:
Select a date and location that works for the groom and the majority of the guests. Try to plan the party one to three months before the wedding, avoiding the night before to prevent any wedding-day hangovers. Popular destinations include Miami, Las Vegas, Austin, Chicago, and Scottsdale, but ultimately, choose a location that suits your chosen theme and activities.
Book Travel and Accommodations:
Once you have a confirmed guest list and location, book any necessary travel and accommodations. Be sure to get confirmation from everyone before booking to avoid any last-minute changes or financial burdens.
Finalise Activities:
Plan two to three group outings or activities that align with the groom's interests. These could include chartering a boat, attending a sporting event, going bowling, or enjoying a brewery tour. Remember to include some downtime in the schedule as well.
Send Out Invitations and Share the Itinerary:
Finalise the guest count about a month before the party and share the itinerary with the group. Include important details such as the hotel address, arrival times, and contact information. A shared digital itinerary is helpful, especially for multi-day events.
Pack and Prepare:
Start packing and preparing any decorations or party supplies you may need. If you are the host, consider arriving earlier at the location to handle any last-minute setups or preparations.
Celebrate and Enjoy:
It's time to let loose and celebrate! As the host, ensure the groom and guests are having a great time. Be ready to step in and make adjustments if needed.
Regroup and Thank the Group:
After the party, send a quick thank-you note to the group, expressing your appreciation for their participation. It is also a good time to follow up on any outstanding expenses or payments.
Remember, the key to a successful bachelor party is effective communication, consideration for everyone's preferences and budgets, and, most importantly, creating an enjoyable and memorable experience for the groom and the entire group.
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Groomsmen duties
While the best man is usually responsible for choosing the wedding song, here is a list of duties that groomsmen should be prepared for.
Pre-Wedding Duties:
Groomsmen are expected to attend pre-wedding events, including the engagement party, couples' shower, bachelor party, and rehearsal dinner. They are also responsible for booking their travel and hotel accommodations, especially if there are room blocks with discounted rates. Groomsmen should also plan the bachelor party, typically held one to three months before the wedding, in collaboration with the best man. They should coordinate with the groom on timing, location, guest list, and activities, as well as communicate with the rest of the guests. Groomsmen are also expected to purchase or rent their wedding attire and attend fittings.
Wedding Day Duties:
Groomsmen should arrive at the ceremony site early, ideally 30 to 45 minutes in advance. They may be asked to usher guests to their seats and escort them to available seats, especially if there are reserved seats for family or the wedding party. Groomsmen should also be prepared to answer guests' questions, such as regarding restroom locations, transportation, or the timing of events like the rehearsal dinner. They may be asked to hold items for the groom, such as vows or a phone, and assist the groom with last-minute tasks. Groomsmen should also be ready to pose for photographs and help round up guests for group photos.
Post-Wedding Duties:
Groomsmen should stick around after the wedding to help with clean-up and breakdown, offering a thoughtful gesture to the couple and their family. They can also provide rides to the airport for out-of-town guests. Returning rented formalwear on time is crucial, as suit rental companies often have strict next-day return policies, and late returns can result in additional fees.
Additional Notes:
Groomsmen are expected to fund their travel, accommodations, and wedding attire, including any fittings. They may also contribute financially to the bachelor party and wedding gifts, either individually or by chipping in with other groomsmen. While groomsmen typically do not give speeches, they may be asked to do so at the rehearsal dinner or reception. It is important to note that groomsmen should be supportive and positive, offering emotional support to the groom throughout the process.
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Best man's speech
The best man's speech is one of the most important duties of the best man, who is usually a close friend or relative of the groom. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is responsible for supporting the groom and ensuring everything runs smoothly before, during, and after the wedding.
The best man's speech is traditionally given during the reception, after the father of the bride and/or groom, and the maid of honour have given their toasts. It is the best man's responsibility to craft a well-crafted speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story, and it should be practised and vetted beforehand to ensure it is not offensive or embarrassing.
In addition to the speech, the best man is also in charge of planning the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for the groom's side, assisting with outfit details, holding the wedding rings, welcoming guests, ensuring the groom and groomsmen are on schedule, signing the marriage license as a witness, and helping to collect gifts and decorate the getaway car.
The best man is an important role that requires organisation, calmness, and task-orientation. It is an honour to be chosen as the best man, and the person selected should be well-prepared and confident in carrying out their duties to support the groom and ensure the wedding is a success.
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Wedding rings
So, you've been chosen as the best man at a wedding and are wondering about your duties regarding the wedding rings. Well, wonder no more! Here is a comprehensive guide to help you understand your responsibilities when it comes to the wedding rings and ensure that you shine in your role as the best man.
Pre-Wedding Ring Duties:
One of the most important duties of the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe and secure before the ceremony. This means that you are responsible for holding onto the rings and ensuring they are in your possession leading up to the big day. It is also a good idea to confirm with the couple if they intend to use the same rings for the ceremony and reception or if they have separate bands for each. Knowing this detail will help you prepare and ensure that the correct rings are readily available when needed.
Wedding Day Ring Duties:
On the wedding day itself, you will play a crucial role in the smooth flow of events regarding the rings. Here are the key responsibilities you should be aware of:
- Ring Bearer: You may be asked to act as the ring bearer, which means you will carry and present the rings during the ceremony. It is an honor and a significant responsibility, so be sure to confirm this duty with the couple and practice walking down the aisle with the rings, so you feel confident on the day.
- Ring Exchange: During the ceremony, be prepared to hand over the rings at the right moment when the couple exchanges their vows and places the rings on each other's fingers. Ensure the rings are easily accessible and that you know exactly when to offer them to the couple.
- Witness the Ceremony: As the best man, you may also be asked to act as a witness to the wedding. This is an important legal requirement, and your signature, along with that of the maid of honor, will be needed on the marriage certificate.
- Ring Security: Throughout the day, it is your job to ensure the rings are secure at all times. This means keeping them in a safe place before the ceremony and keeping them with you or in a secure location during the reception.
Post-Wedding Ring Duties:
Even after the wedding, your duties regarding the rings may not be entirely over. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Ring Storage: If the couple chooses to change into different bands for the reception or after the wedding, you may be tasked with safely storing the original wedding rings. This is especially important if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately and needs someone to hold onto their valuable items.
- Ring Return: In the case of rented or borrowed wedding rings, you may be asked to facilitate the return of the rings to the appropriate person or store. This ensures that the rings are returned on time and in good condition.
Now that you know your duties regarding the wedding rings, you can confidently perform your role as the best man and ensure that this aspect of the wedding goes off without a hitch!
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Frequently asked questions
No, the best man does not typically choose the wedding song. The best man has other important duties, such as planning the bachelor party, giving a speech, and holding the wedding rings.
The best man is not usually responsible for choosing the music or songs played at the wedding. However, they may be asked to help with musical requests or ensure the DJ or band arrives on time.
The couple typically chooses the wedding song together, or the bride and groom may select a song individually that has a special meaning to them.
Absolutely! The best man can offer song suggestions to the couple, especially if they are close friends or family and know their taste in music.