The Best Man's Guide: Duties And Honor

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidant throughout the engagement and wedding planning process. The role is often given to a close friend or relative of the groom, such as a brother, and comes with a variety of duties and responsibilities. From planning the bachelor party and choosing the groomsmen's attire to holding the wedding rings and giving a speech, the best man plays a crucial role in ensuring the groom's wedding journey is as smooth and enjoyable as possible.

Plan the bachelor party

Planning a bachelor party can be a daunting task, but it's a great opportunity to create a memorable celebration for the groom and his friends. Here are some detailed tips to help you plan an amazing bachelor party:

Finalize the Guest List:

Start by deciding who will be invited to the bachelor party. This usually includes the groomsmen and the groom's close friends and family members. Get the groom's input and sign-off on the guest list. It's important to ensure that everyone who attends the bachelor party is also invited to the wedding.

Discuss the Budget:

Understanding everyone's budget is crucial. Send out a survey or a group text to gauge how much each person is willing to spend on travel, accommodations, and activities. Don't forget that the groom's expenses are typically covered by the bachelor party group, so factor that into the overall budget.

Choose a Theme or Party Style:

Determine the type of party that aligns with the groom's interests and the group's dynamics. Are they into adventure-packed trips, nightlife scenes, or something more low-key? This will help guide your choices for location and activities.

Pick a Date and Location:

Select a date and location that works for the groom and the majority of the crew. The bachelor party is typically held one to three months before the wedding. Consider the group's preferences and try to find a balance between a fun location and affordability.

Book Travel and Accommodations:

Once you have a general idea of the guest list and budget, it's time to book travel and accommodations. Be sure to get confirmation from everyone in the group before finalizing bookings to avoid any last-minute surprises.

Finalize Activities:

Plan a mix of activities that the groom will enjoy. This could include golf outings, sporting events, brewery tours, or even just lounging by the pool. Remember to include some downtime in the schedule as well.

Create a Detailed Itinerary:

Prepare a timeline of activities and share it with the group. Include important details such as hotel information, arrival times, and contact info for everyone. This will ensure that everyone knows what to expect and can plan accordingly.

Organize Logistics:

Take care of other logistical details such as booking restaurants, making reservations, and arranging transportation if needed. It's also a good idea to stock up on snacks and drinks for the group, especially if you're staying in a rental home.

Simplify Finances:

To simplify finances, consider putting expenses on one credit card and then dividing the total cost among the group afterward. This makes it easier for everyone, including the waitstaff and bartenders.

Create Special Moments:

A bachelor party is about creating lasting memories. Encourage the attendees to share stories, raise toasts, or even create a dare list for the groom to tackle throughout the party. These personal touches will make the event unforgettable.

Remember, the key to planning a successful bachelor party is to keep the groom's interests and preferences at the forefront. By following these steps and adding your personal touches, you'll create an amazing bachelor party that the groom and his friends will cherish forever.

Support the groom

Being the best man is a great honour, but it's also a big responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidant throughout the engagement and wedding. Here are some ways you can support the groom:

Be a Source of Emotional Support

The groom will likely experience nerves or wedding anxiety, so it's important to check in with him and provide a listening ear. Be a calming presence and reassure him that everything will be okay.

Help with Wedding Planning Admin

Although the best man isn't expected to be heavily involved in wedding planning, offering to help with logistical tasks can take some pressure off the groom. This could include booking vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules.

Assist with Suit Shopping and Fittings

As the best man, you'll play a key role in helping the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire. You'll need to discuss style preferences with the couple and decide whether the suits will be bought or hired. Ensure that all groomsmen order their attire on time and don't forget about alterations!

Plan an Unforgettable Stag Do

Planning the groom's last big night of freedom is one of the best man's most important duties. Consult with the groom on his preferences, create a guest list, and choose a location and activities that suit his style. Consider everyone's budget to ensure that the event is inclusive and memorable for all the right reasons.

Be the Groom's Right-Hand Man on the Wedding Day

On the big day, the best man should be the groom's personal aide, helping him get ready and ensuring he eats, drinks, and stays calm. You may also be responsible for holding the groom's phone, the wedding rings, and other important items.

Keep Things Running Smoothly

The best man plays a crucial role in keeping the wedding day on schedule. This includes ensuring that the groom and groomsmen arrive at the venue on time, that everyone is where they need to be during the ceremony, and that guests are welcomed and entertained at the reception.

Remember, the groom chose you as his best man for a reason. By being organised, supportive, and attentive to his needs, you'll be able to provide him with the assistance and reassurance he needs throughout this exciting but stressful time.

Be the point of contact

Being the best man at a wedding is a big responsibility and a great honour. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to person throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. One of the most important roles of the best man is to act as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, including the groomsmen and family members.

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you will be the first point of contact for the groomsmen. You will need to introduce the groomsmen to each other if they don't already know one another. You can do this by setting up a time to grab a drink together or, if they live far away, starting an email chain or group chat. You will also need to coordinate the groomsmen's travel and accommodation, making sure they book flights and hotels in a timely fashion.

On the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, the best man is responsible for keeping the groom and groomsmen on schedule. This means ensuring that everyone gets to the venue on time and keeping an eye on the clock throughout the day, so that everyone is where they need to be at the right time.

After the Wedding

The best man may also be asked to help with certain tasks after the wedding, such as making sure vendors are tipped and paid, and transporting gifts to the couple's home.

Throughout the Process

The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties. This includes planning the bachelor party, which is one of the best man's most important responsibilities. The best man will work with the other groomsmen to organise a night or weekend that suits the groom's style, while also being mindful of everyone's schedules and budgets.

The best man will also need to coordinate the groomsmen's formalwear, helping the groom to choose and rent or buy wedding attire, and ensuring that the groomsmen place their orders on time.

In addition, the best man may be asked to collect money from the groomsmen to purchase a gift for the groom. This could be a vintage bottle of wine or a personalised watch, for example.

Finally, the best man should be prepared to offer emotional support to the groom throughout the wedding planning process. This involves listening to the groom's concerns and reassuring him that everything will be okay.

Help choose wedding attire

As the best man, you'll be responsible for helping the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire. Here are some tips to help you navigate this task:

Understand the Dress Code

Before choosing any outfits, it's important to understand the dress code for the wedding. The invitation may specify a dress code, such as black-tie, formal, cocktail, or casual. If no dress code is specified, don't be afraid to reach out to the couple or other members of the wedding party to clarify. Understanding the dress code will help guide your choices and ensure everyone is appropriately dressed for the occasion.

Consider the Season and Venue

The season and venue of the wedding can also influence the attire. For example, lightweight and breathable fabrics are ideal for a beach or summer wedding, while richer fabrics and darker colours may be more suitable for a winter or fall celebration. The venue can also provide clues about the level of formality expected. A ballroom or hotel venue usually calls for a more formal attire, while a beach or outdoor setting may allow for a more relaxed style.

Help the Groom Stand Out

Remember that the groom should be the dressiest man at the wedding. If the dress code allows for flexibility, the groom can choose an outfit that is a notch above the groomsmen in terms of formality or style. The groom can also coordinate his outfit with the bride's dress to ensure they complement each other.

Choose a Classic Look for the Groomsmen

As the best man, you want to look smart and honour the position of responsibility you've been given. A classic suit in a complementary colour to the groom's outfit is a safe choice. You can add your own flair with accessories, but avoid anything too flashy or attention-grabbing. Remember, this day is about the happy couple, not you!

Don't Forget the Details

Pay attention to the small details that will complete the look. This includes choosing the right shoes, adding accessories like cufflinks or a pocket square, and ensuring your suit is well-fitted and tailored to your body type. These finishing touches will elevate your wedding attire and ensure you and the groom's party look sharp and cohesive.

Hold the wedding rings

Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you ace this responsibility:

Before the Wedding

It is a good idea to discuss with the couple whether there will be a ring bearer. If there is no ring bearer, the best man will be responsible for holding the wedding bands during the ceremony. Even if there is a ring bearer, the best man may still be asked to hold on to the rings for safekeeping until the ring exchange.

During the Wedding

If you are the official ring bearer, make sure you have the rings to hand and ready for when the couple is ready to exchange them. If you are not the ring bearer, ensure the ring bearer has the rings before the ceremony begins.

After the Wedding

Once the couple has exchanged their rings, it is customary for the best man and maid of honour to sign the marriage license as witnesses. The couple will then receive their official marriage certificate.

General Tips

• Keep the rings in a safe place, like an inner jacket pocket, and triple-check that your pocket doesn't have a hole in it!
• Be aware of where the rings are at all times.
• If the ring bearer will be carrying the rings on a pillow, you will fasten the rings to the pillow as you line up for the processional.

Frequently asked questions