Best Man Options: How Many Should You Choose?

Deciding on the number of best men to have at your wedding can be challenging, especially if you have multiple close friends or family members you want to include in your special day. While the traditional route is to have one best man, modern weddings are all about personalisation, and it's not uncommon for grooms to have two or even three best men. Ultimately, the number of best men you choose is a personal decision and will depend on various factors, such as the size of your wedding and your relationship with your friends.

There are no rules: it's your wedding, so do what feels best for you and your partner

There are no rules when it comes to your wedding. It's your special day, so do what feels best for you and your partner. If you're in the process of choosing your groomsmen and need some advice about picking the best man, or best men, there's no need to worry. Wedding etiquette expert Amanda Hudes emphasises that it's your wedding, so you call the shots on who makes up the wedding party. If you feel strongly about having two best men, or it will make you feel happiest and most supported on your wedding day, then go for it!

Traditionally, grooms choose one man to be their best man. But this is not a hard-and-fast rule, and it's becoming more common to have more than one best man. This can be a wonderful way to honour your close relationships with friends and family and alleviate the pressure of the role. Having two best men means you'll have additional support leading up to and on the big day, and it can help to relieve any awkwardness or strife between wedding party members. You can also split up the typical best man duties and give them each a unique look that reflects their personality.

If you're worried about how to divide the responsibilities, there are a few ways to do this. You could have one best man in charge of pre-wedding duties, such as the bachelor party and fittings, and the other in charge on the day itself, handling guest questions and coordinating photos. When it comes to the best man speech, they could give a joint speech or work on separate speeches together to avoid repetition.

However, there are a couple of potential downsides to consider. Firstly, having two best men may create unnecessary tension, with people feeling slighted that the groom didn't choose just one person for the role. It could also cause conflict or confusion between the two best men themselves if one ends up doing all the work.

Ultimately, the number of best men you choose depends on your personal relationships and how your loved ones will handle the responsibilities. If you have two or three special people you want to honour, then go ahead and ask them all to be your best men. You could also give each person a different role, such as one doing a speech and another being the ring bearer. Or, if you don't want to choose between them, you could decide not to have a best man at all and simply honour them as equal wedding party members.

Avoid choosing between important people in your life

Choosing a best man can be a difficult task, especially if you have multiple important people in your life. The good news is that you don't have to choose and can have multiple best men if you wish.

Traditionally, a groom has one best man, but this is not a hard-and-fast rule. In fact, it is becoming more common to have more than one best man, also known as "best people". This can be a wonderful way to honour your close relationships with family and friends and alleviate the pressure of the role. It also means that you will have additional support leading up to and on the big day, as your best men can split the typical best man duties.

If you are worried about how to divide the responsibilities, there are a few ways to do this. You could have one best man in charge of pre-wedding tasks such as the bachelor party and fittings, and another in charge on the day itself, handling guest questions and coordinating photos. For the speeches, your best men could give a joint speech, or work together on their individual speeches to avoid repetition.

It is important to keep in mind that having multiple best men may cause some confusion for guests and vendors, who may not know who to address with questions. It could also potentially cause tension or conflict, either with the best men themselves or with other friends and family members who are upset about sharing the position. To avoid this, clear and constant communication is key. Create a group chat with all your best men to ensure everyone is on the same page and feels included.

Ultimately, it is your wedding, and you should do what feels best for you and your partner. If you have multiple people you want to honour with the position of best man, go for it!

Share the duties and responsibilities

Sharing the duties and responsibilities of a best man is a great way to ensure that everything is taken care of and that no one person is overwhelmed. Here are some tips and suggestions on how to divide the responsibilities among multiple best men:

Communication and Coordination

One of the key roles of the best man is to act as the groom's right-hand man and point person for the groomsmen. When there are multiple best men, clear and constant communication is essential. Create a group chat to facilitate planning and discussions. This ensures that everyone is on the same page and can work together as a team.

Pre-Wedding Duties

The best man is typically involved in choosing the groomsmen's attire, planning the bachelor party, and providing emotional support to the groom. These duties can be shared or divided among the best men. For example, one best man can take charge of the bachelor party planning, while another can assist with suit shopping and fittings.

Ring Bearer

One of the most important duties of the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe and be responsible for handing them over during the ceremony. This duty can be shared by having one best man be the official ring bearer, while the other ensures the rings are safe and secure before and during the ceremony.

Signing the Marriage License

In some traditions, the best man is required to sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the maid of honor. If there are multiple best men, this duty can be assigned to one of them, ensuring that this important task is not overlooked.

Speeches

Delivering the best man's speech is a significant responsibility and can be a source of anxiety for some. Multiple best men can choose to give a joint speech, presenting a unified front and sharing the task. Alternatively, they can opt for separate speeches, ensuring they work together to avoid repetition and complement each other's messages.

Reception Duties

The best man often has several duties during the wedding reception, such as acting as the master of ceremonies, escorting the maid of honor, and getting the party started on the dance floor. These duties can be shared or divided among multiple best men, ensuring that each has a chance to shine and enjoy the celebration.

Post-Wedding Tasks

After the wedding, there may be tasks such as returning hired items, cleaning and returning suits, and taking care of wedding gifts. These tasks can be easily shared or divided among multiple best men, lightening the load for everyone involved.

Remember, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to wedding traditions. The most important thing is to ensure that everyone feels valued, included, and honored by their role in the wedding party. Clear communication and thoughtful division of duties will ensure that your best men can work together to support the groom and make the day memorable.

Avoid conflict and confusion by clearly dividing the roles

Having multiple best men can be a wonderful way to honour your closest friends and family, but it can also lead to conflict and confusion if roles are not clearly defined. Here are some tips to avoid any potential issues:

Clearly Define Roles and Responsibilities

It is important to have a clear division of duties among the best men to avoid any overlap or confusion. Sit down with your best men and discuss their strengths and interests, and assign roles accordingly. For example, one best man might be in charge of pre-wedding events and planning, while the other takes the lead on the wedding day itself. This ensures that everyone knows their responsibilities and can work together effectively.

Encourage Constant Communication

Good communication is key to avoiding conflict and ensuring a smooth process. Create a group chat with all the best men to facilitate open and constant communication. This way, everyone can stay on the same page, coordinate their efforts, and address any issues or questions that may arise.

Be Mindful of Personalities and Dynamics

When assigning roles, consider the personalities and dynamics between the best men. If one is more outgoing and organised, they might be better suited to take the lead on certain tasks, while the other might prefer to take a supporting role. Be mindful of any potential sources of tension and try to assign roles that play to everyone's strengths and interests.

Provide Clear Guidance

As the groom, it is your responsibility to provide clear guidance and expectations to your best men. Let them know what tasks need to be completed, when they need to be done, and any specific details or requirements. The more information you can provide, the easier it will be for them to understand their roles and execute their duties effectively.

Be Flexible and Adapt to Feedback

Remember that what works for one person may not work for another. Be flexible and open to feedback from your best men. If they have suggestions or concerns about their assigned roles, be willing to listen and make adjustments as needed. This will help ensure that everyone is comfortable and confident in their responsibilities.

Encourage Teamwork

While having clear divisions of labour is important, it is also crucial that your best men work together as a team. Encourage collaboration and a unified front, especially when interacting with other wedding party members and vendors. This will help present a cohesive and organised group, avoiding any potential confusion or conflict.

In conclusion, having multiple best men can be a wonderful way to honour your closest friends and family, but it requires clear communication, defined roles, and flexibility to avoid any potential conflict or confusion. By following these tips, you can ensure that your best men feel valued, included, and excited to support you on your special day.

It's a big job, so ensure you ask someone who can handle the admin

Being a best man is a big job, and it's important to ask someone who can handle the responsibilities that come with the role. While traditionally there is only one best man, it has become more common to have multiple best men, and the duties can be shared among them.

The best man has a lot of duties, and it's important that whoever is chosen can handle the admin that comes with the role. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and activities. They are also in charge of planning the bachelor party, helping to choose and coordinate the groomsmen's formalwear, and keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time to exchange vows. On the wedding day, the best man helps the groom get ready, stands beside him at the altar, and may be asked to act as the master of ceremonies, announcing key elements such as the couple's arrival and the cutting of the cake.

With so many responsibilities, it's easy to see why some grooms choose to have multiple best men. This can be a great way to honour multiple close friends or family members and ensure that all the duties are handled effectively. However, it's important to be clear about the division of duties to avoid any conflict or confusion between the best men themselves, as well as with guests and vendors.

If you're considering having multiple best men, it's important to choose people who you know will be able to handle the admin and logistics that come with the role. It's also a good idea to have clear communication between all the best men to ensure that everything runs smoothly.

Frequently asked questions