Mastering The Perfect Best Man Speech

Being asked to give a best man's speech can be daunting, but it's also an honour and a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. The key to success is careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery.

The best man's speech is often expected to be funny, but it should also be heartfelt, appropriate, and unique. It's important to be yourself and not try to crack jokes if that's not your style. Keep it short and sweet—around 3 to 5 minutes is ideal—and avoid controversial topics, inside jokes, and stories about the groom's past relationships.

Start by writing down your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. Use a template as a guide and craft a speech with a strong opening and closing that leaves a lasting impression. Share stories and anecdotes about the groom, and express what he means to you.

Practice your speech as much as possible, and remember to breathe and relax before and during your delivery. Connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, and using hand gestures.

With the right preparation and mindset, you can deliver a best man's speech that will be remembered and cherished by the couple and guests alike.

Keep it concise

Keeping your speech concise is one of the most important things to remember when preparing your best man's speech. The perfect best man's speech is long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep things interesting.

The ideal length for a best man's speech is around 5 minutes. This gives you enough time to warm up the crowd, share a few choice stories, and land an emotional finish without testing anyone's attention span. It's a delicate balance—long enough to tell meaningful stories, yet brief enough to leave the audience wanting more.

To achieve this balance, focus on impactful content rather than length. Choose only the most meaningful anecdotes and heartfelt messages to include in your speech. You can also include moments for laughter or applause to add variety and keep your audience engaged.

A concise speech doesn't mean rushing through your delivery. On the contrary, it's crucial to take your time and speak clearly. Practice your speech multiple times to improve your delivery and help you feel more confident and comfortable on the big day.

Remember, a concise, well-delivered speech will have a lasting impact and is sure to be remembered fondly by the couple and guests.

Be sincere

Being sincere is a crucial aspect of a best man's speech. While it's essential to be funny and entertaining, sincerity will help you connect with the couple and the audience on a deeper level. Here are some tips to achieve that:

Share Heartwarming Stories and Experiences

Draw from your experiences and memories with the groom to craft heartfelt stories that showcase his character and your relationship. These stories can be funny, touching, or even embarrassing (to a certain extent), as long as they highlight the groom's positive qualities. For example, you could share a story about how the groom has always had your back or given you valuable advice. This approach will make your speech more engaging and allow the audience to learn more about the groom through your experiences.

Express Your Appreciation and Well-Wishes

Take the opportunity to express your gratitude towards the groom for choosing you as his best man. Share what the groom means to you and highlight the qualities you admire in him. This will not only strengthen your bond but also showcase your sincerity and support for your friend. Additionally, don't forget to wish the couple a happy future and life together. This can be done by raising a toast to their love and lifelong happiness.

Be Yourself and Speak from the Heart

While it's helpful to have a prepared speech, don't be afraid to deviate from it and speak sincerely. Your natural mannerisms and voice will make your speech more authentic and engaging. Be yourself, and don't feel the need to present yourself as someone you're not. This will allow your personality to shine through and create a more intimate connection with the audience.

Keep it Balanced

While sincerity is essential, remember that humour also plays a vital role in a best man's speech. Aim to strike a balance between humorous and sincere moments. You can start with a light-hearted icebreaker or a well-chosen joke to warm up the audience and calm your nerves. Throughout your speech, weave in funny anecdotes and stories that showcase your friendship with the groom. However, always ensure that your humour is respectful and not at the expense of the couple or any guests.

Include a joke

Including a joke in your best man speech is a great way to break the ice and engage the audience. It is important to remember that the best man speech is one of the highlights of the wedding, so it is crucial to make it memorable. Here are some tips to help you include jokes effectively:

• Prepare your jokes in advance: Spend time crafting the right jokes that are funny yet inoffensive. Make sure they will appeal to all age groups and avoid controversial topics.
• Self-deprecating humour: Making yourself the target of jokes can establish goodwill with the audience and show humility. Keep it light and relatable, and use it as a way to transition into praising the couple.
• Timing is key: Getting a joke in early can help relax the mood and engage the audience from the start. However, be mindful of the overall length of your speech, aiming for around 5-7 minutes to keep the guests entertained.
• Know your audience: Understand the diverse audience you will be addressing, including family, friends, and the bride's side. Tailor your jokes to resonate with everyone, using universal themes such as love, relationships, and growing up.
• Storytelling: Incorporate your jokes into a story, such as how you met the groom or a funny incident you both experienced. This will keep the audience entertained and connected.
• Practice: Rehearse your speech multiple times to refine your delivery and reduce nerves. Learn the jokes by heart, but also leave room for improvisation to sound more natural and engaging.

Remember, while humour is an essential part of a best man speech, it's important to keep the jokes warm and friendly. Avoid offensive or embarrassing material, and always consider the feelings of the bride and groom.

Share stories

Sharing stories is a great way to keep your audience entertained and connected. It is a good idea to share funny, heartwarming, or even embarrassing experiences that reveal the groom's personality and your relationship with him.

Choose a Variety of Stories:

Select stories that showcase different aspects of the groom's life and personality. Include anecdotes from his childhood, teenage years, and adult life. Talk about his triumphs and disasters, but be sure to keep things light and positive.

Make the Stories Relatable:

Ensure that your stories are relatable and engaging for the entire audience. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Instead, opt for stories that highlight the groom's character, passions, and unique qualities.

Include the Bride:

While the focus of your stories should be on the groom, don't forget to include the bride in some of them. Talk about how the couple met, how the bride has impacted the groom, and how they complement each other. This will add a sentimental touch to your speech and showcase the couple's dynamic.

Keep it Appropriate:

When sharing stories, avoid anything too embarrassing, especially those involving ex-partners or risky behaviour. Remember that your audience will include guests from different generations and cultural backgrounds, so refrain from inappropriate jokes or stories that might offend someone.

Structure your Stories:

Organise your stories in a logical sequence, avoiding timeline jumps that might confuse the audience. Make sure each story has a clear beginning, middle, and end, with a punchline or meaningful conclusion.

Practice Storytelling:

Rehearse your stories beforehand to ensure they flow naturally and land well with the audience. Practice telling them to friends or family members to get feedback and refine your delivery. This will help you feel more confident and comfortable when sharing the stories on the wedding day.

Remember, the key to successful storytelling in your best man speech is to choose anecdotes that showcase the groom's personality, your relationship with him, and his relationship with the bride. Keep things light, positive, and appropriate, and always consider the entire audience when crafting your stories.

Practice

Practise sight-reading (reading a speech while keeping eye contact with your audience) so it doesn't feel like you're literally reading word for word. Practise reading your speech at a slower pace, finding pauses, and looking up at your audience between each line. If you can do that, there's no problem with reading your best man's speech on the day.

If you decide to deliver your speech from bullet points or cue cards, make sure to practise beforehand with the same notes/cards you'll have on the day.

If you plan to memorise your speech, aim for an hour of practice time per minute of speech. So, if you have a 5-minute speech and 4 weeks to prepare, that means practising your speech for 10 minutes (roughly twice through) every single day.

A bonus option is to memorise your opening and closing lines and have your entire speech script with you. This means you can begin your speech confidently, without notes, and deliver your toast and close from memory.

Record yourself to fine-tune your timing – you might be surprised how different five minutes feel when you're behind the microphone.

Frequently asked questions