Best Man Speech: Timing And Tips For Delivery

The best man's speech is a highlight of the wedding reception, and it's important to get the timing right. While it's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and share stories about the groom, it's also a chance for the best man to show their support for the happy couple. The best man usually speaks after the maid of honour and is the last in the lineup of reception speeches. It's a chance to kick off the party with a celebratory and encouraging toast, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the couple's love for each other.

The best man's speech should be celebratory and encouraging

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, and it's important to get it right. While it's just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. The best man's speech should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the love the couple has for each other. It's also an opportunity to kick off the party!

Know Your Role

The best man's speech is usually the most anticipated and is meant to kick off the party. It should be celebratory and focus on the couple and their love for each other. Avoid making the speech about yourself and instead, keep the attention on the newlyweds.

Prepare in Advance

Start writing your speech at least two months before the wedding. Brainstorm stories, jokes, and quotes you want to include. The more time you have to prepare, the better. This way, you'll be able to fully enjoy the wedding festivities leading up to the big day.

Structure Your Speech

A simple structure for your speech can include:

• A killer opening line: Introduce yourself and explain your connection to the couple. You can share a quick joke or quote to make your speech memorable.
• Thank the other speakers: Show gratitude to the previous speaker and the couple's parents for raising incredible adults and hosting a wonderful celebration.
• Say a few words about the couple: Even if you have a closer relationship with the groom, be sure to give a special shout-out to the new spouse. Talk about the qualities you admire about them and why they are perfect for your friend.
• Share personal stories: Include one or two anecdotes or your favourite memories with the groom (and their partner, if you wish). Keep the stories lighthearted and short, ensuring they have a sentimental or funny ending.
• Speak about the couple's relationship: Share how they met and how their relationship has grown, giving guests insight into the newlyweds. If you played a role in bringing them together, be sure to mention it!
• Close with a heartfelt toast: Ask everyone to raise a glass and provide well wishes to the happy couple. You can include a final joke or a marriage quote from a movie.

Keep it PG

While you want your speech to be fun and engaging, it's important to know what topics to avoid. Stay away from negativity about marriage, previous marriages/divorces, drinking, drugs, gambling, and adult humour or any mention of sex. Your speech should celebrate the couple and their love, not cause future friction.

Practice Makes Perfect

Even if you feel confident about your speech, it's a good idea to practice delivering it aloud at least three times. Take a video and watch it back to refine your gestures and improve your delivery. If you feel comfortable, practice in front of a small audience to get their feedback.

Remember, the couple chose you to be the best man because of your special connection to them. Your speech is an opportunity to showcase your friendship and wish them a lifetime of happiness. So, keep it celebratory, encouraging, and full of love!

It should include a few appropriate jokes

The best man's speech is usually the one that's most anticipated. It should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the love the couple has for each other.

• Use observational humour: Look at the groom's everyday frustrations and recurring issues. To make observational humour work, be as specific as possible. Even positive qualities can be humorous if you dissect them.
• Exaggerate: Think of a quirk that the groom is known for and imagine it in its most extreme form.
• Self-deprecation: This is a brilliant tool to utilise, as it's the safest form of comedy and no one will be offended.
• Roast the groom with kindness: Stick to safe topics and turn them into playful icebreaker jokes to lighten the mood.
• "It's been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers."
• "If there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you've just married [name of bride/groom]."
• "I've been asked to give [name of bride/groom] the drinks bill."
• "All those amongst you who know [partner] well will know that she/he is a wonderful and caring person. S/he deserves a good husband/wife. Thank God [name of bride/groom] married her/him before s/he found one."
• "I'd also like to congratulate [name of previous speaker] on their truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it."
• "Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I'm terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn't drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn't very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?"

It should be no longer than 7 minutes

The best man's speech is an important part of the wedding reception. It is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. The speech should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the love the couple has for each other.

The best man's speech should be no longer than 7 minutes. While there is no set time limit for speeches, shorter is better. You could even aim for around 3-5 minutes. Even if there is a lot to say, talking for 3 minutes can feel like a long time. A great speech doesn't need to be full of perfected, eloquent wording; instead, it should evoke an emotion and convey a genuine happiness for the couple. Short and sweet wedding toasts can still be filled with plenty of charm!

If you are worried about the length of your speech, you can always use a template as a guide. This will give you an idea of what to include and help you to stay on track. You can still throw in your personality and experiences, but the template will ensure your speech stays within the desired time frame.

Remember, it is your job as the best man to support your friend on their important day. If you are uncomfortable with public speaking, there are other ways to do this besides giving a speech. You could write a letter or give a video gift, or you could ask another groomsman to give a speech with you. You could even just make a joke about how you hate public speaking, say you are happy for the couple, and then toast the bride and groom.

It should be practised beforehand

Practising your best man speech beforehand is crucial to ensuring it is well-received and memorable. Here are some reasons why:

Reduce Nervousness

The more you practise your speech, the less nervous you will feel when delivering it. This will help you sound more natural and confident, engaging the audience and making your message more impactful. Practising will also help you become familiar with the content, reducing the risk of forgetting important points or stumbling over your words.

Improve Delivery

Practising allows you to refine your delivery, including the tone, pace, and volume of your speech. You can work on speaking slowly and clearly, taking pauses and deep breaths to ensure your message lands effectively. Additionally, practising can help you identify areas where you can inject humour or vary your tone to keep the audience engaged.

Master Body Language

It is not just about what you say but also how you say it. Body language plays a significant role in public speaking. Practising beforehand gives you the opportunity to work on your body language, ensuring you maintain open and confident postures and gestures. This includes maintaining eye contact, using hand gestures effectively, and avoiding fidgeting, which can be a telltale sign of nervousness.

Ensure Appropriate Timing

Practising your speech helps you perfect the timing. A best man's speech should typically be around five to seven minutes long. By practising, you can ensure your speech stays within this timeframe, keeping the attention of the audience and respecting the overall reception timeline.

Gather Feedback

When you practise your speech beforehand, you can gather feedback from friends or family members. They can provide valuable insights on areas that need improvement, such as pacing, tone, or joke placement. This feedback allows you to refine and perfect your speech, ensuring it resonates with your audience and honours the couple.

It should be given after the maid of honour's speech

There are many ways to structure wedding speeches, and the order of speeches ultimately depends on the couple's preferences. However, traditionally, the best man's speech comes after the maid of honour's speech. Here's why this structure works well:

Flow of the Reception

The timing of the best man's speech is crucial. It is traditionally given shortly after everyone is seated at their reception tables. This ensures that the speech has the guests' undivided attention and keeps them entertained and engaged. By giving the best man's speech after the maid of honour's speech, you can maintain a smooth flow to the reception. It allows for a natural transition between the two most anticipated speeches of the night.

Maintaining Momentum

The maid of honour's speech usually includes an introduction, a short story, personal anecdotes, and encouraging words. It is often more emotional and sets the perfect tone for the best man's speech to follow. The best man's speech tends to be funnier and more light-hearted, building on the momentum created by the maid of honour. This shift in tone can help keep the guests engaged and entertained, ensuring that the reception doesn't become too sentimental or serious.

Celebrating the Couple

Both the best man and the maid of honour's speeches are opportunities to celebrate the couple and share their stories. The best man's speech can focus more on the groom, with funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing stories about him. By going after the maid of honour, the best man can also highlight the couple's relationship and share his well-wishes for their future together, building on the sentiments expressed by the maid of honour.

Allowing the Wedding Party to Relax

The best man and the maid of honour are two of the most important members of the wedding party. By having their speeches one after the other, they can relieve themselves of this significant responsibility early on in the reception. This allows them to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free. They can also use this opportunity to set the tone for the rest of the reception, making it a memorable celebration for the newlyweds.

Traditional Order

While wedding speech orders can vary, the traditional sequence is often preferred as it allows for a seamless flow of events. The traditional order of wedding speeches usually includes the parents of the bride, the parents of the groom, the maid of honour, and finally, the best man. By adhering to this traditional order, you can create a sense of familiarity for the guests and honour the long-standing customs associated with wedding receptions.

Frequently asked questions