Captivating Best Man Speech Openers: A Guide

The best man's speech is a highlight of any wedding, and it's essential to get it right. While it's just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. Most best men feel weighed down by the expectation to be funny and don't know where to start, what to include, how to end, or how to talk about the bride and groom in a meaningful and non-clichéd way.

The first few lines of your best man speech set the tone for the rest of it, so getting your opening lines right is vital. A great opening line will get the crowd on your side. You could try a self-deprecating joke, a witty one-liner, or a heartfelt expression about how honoured you feel to be part of the wedding. You could even pretend that you printed the speech off the internet, or that you're the groom's favourite.

Remember, the guests are friendly faces, all there to celebrate. They’re rooting for you!

Icebreakers and jokes

The best man's speech is one of the most anticipated moments at a wedding. It's your chance to delight the wedding guests and honour your friend. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft a memorable and entertaining speech:

Icebreakers

Icebreakers are a great way to start your speech on a light and engaging note. They can range from humorous observations to clever wordplay, as long as they are appropriate and tasteful. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• "Ladies and gentlemen, before I start, just some quick housekeeping. Firstly, if you've got your mobile phone on you, please keep it switched on during the speech for your own entertainment. Secondly, if you see any good jokes in your scrolling, be sure to forward them to me."
• "I'd like to offer a toast to the bride and groom. [Pull a piece of toast out of your pocket and give it to them]."
• "Hi, everyone, I'm [your name]. I'm here to tell you about [groom's name] and how truly special, talented, good-looking, and... sorry, mate, I'm struggling to read your handwriting here."
• "I'd like to start by congratulating the groom on his excellent taste in best men. He's really outdone himself this time."
• "A wedding is such an emotional day for everyone. Even the cake is in tiers."
• "For those of you who can't hear me at the back, you should be reassured by the complete silence in the front row that you're not missing much."
• "To start this speech, I searched online for 'the perfect best man speech', but you had to pay to read the examples, and I didn't think it was worth it, so I'm just going to wing it."
• "If there's anyone here this afternoon who's feeling nervous and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you've just married [groom's name]."
• "All those among you who really know the bride will know that she is a wonderful person who deserves a good husband. Thank God [groom's name] married her before she found one."
• "Ladies and gentlemen, before I start, the venue owner has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation."

Jokes

While icebreakers set the tone, jokes throughout your speech will keep your audience entertained. Here are some examples of jokes that you can incorporate:

• "I always knew the groom's speech would be hard to follow. In fact, I couldn't understand a word of it."
• "Ladies and gentlemen, we've now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That's right; I've been asked to give him the drinks bill."
• "I read somewhere that the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So please could everyone raise a glass to the happy couple!"
• "Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I'm terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn't drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn't let the groom drink alone, could I?"
• "I'm going to keep this speech like [groom's name] – short and not very funny."
• "I can only say in my defence that [groom's name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if this speech is unfunny in any way, please feel free to blame [groom's name]."
• "I've been instructed to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I'll whip it out immediately."
• "I'm here to give a speech about [groom's name] – but what can I say about him that hasn't already been a topic on Jeremy Kyle?"
• "I heard there was a sweepstake on the length of the best man's speech. I just went for 40 minutes – so settle in."
• "I have no problem admitting to you all that I'm extremely nervous right now. And, as the people sitting near the front of the room can attest, it is actually possible to smell fear."

Remember to keep your jokes light-hearted, tasteful, and appropriate for the audience. Avoid offensive humour or embarrassing stories that might make the couple uncomfortable.

Introducing yourself

The best man speech is an opportunity to honour your friend and celebrate the newlyweds. It is also a chance to paint a picture of the groom's journey and welcome his partner into your circle of friendship.

As the best man, you will be speaking after the groom, so a joke about his speech or a lighthearted dig at him will go down well. You could also make a joke about your own unpreparedness or deliver a witty one-liner.

"Welcome everyone, my name is [X]. [X] hates it when I take all the attention away from them, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."

"Hello everyone, I'm [X] and I've been best friends with [X] for the past 15 years. For those of you that already know me – I apologise – for those that don't, don't listen to any of the rumours!"

"Good evening everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [X], and I've had the privilege of being [groom's name]'s best friend since we accidentally set off the fire alarm in seventh-grade chemistry class."

"When [groom] asked me to be his best man, I was touched. Then I remembered he also once asked me to help him move apartments, and I realised he might just be really good at getting people to do things they'll regret."

"I've been dreading this speech almost as much as [groom] has. The difference is, he's worried about what I might say, and I'm worried about forgetting what I'm supposed to say."

"I Googled 'how to write a best man speech' exactly 47 times before today. The internet said to be funny but not too funny, sentimental but not sappy, and brief but memorable. No pressure, right?"

"I prepared two speeches for today – one that [groom's] mom would approve of, and one that tells the real stories. [Groom] paid me enough to stick to the first one."

"Looking around this room today, I see family, friends, and loved ones all united in celebrating [couple's names]. As [groom's] best friend of [X] years, I couldn't be more honoured to share this moment."

"They say the best man speech should last as long as it takes the groom to make love. So, thank you and goodnight! [Pause] Just kidding, [partner's name] deserves at least five minutes."

"According to statistics, 74% of best men are more nervous about their speech than their own wedding day. The other 26% are lying."

"Before I start, I should note that [groom] promised to name his firstborn after me if I didn't tell any embarrassing stories. So here's to [groom], [partner], and little [your name] Junior, coming soon!"

"For his entire life, [groom] has always had to be the centre of attention. Well, today is finally his day... to share the spotlight with someone far more impressive."

Reading out messages

You could also have a note from an old boss or teacher asking where their invitation is, or a message from the couple's local MP, congratulating them on their special day. If there are international members of the family in attendance, you could even recite a phrase in their native language.

This part of the speech is a great opportunity to add a surprise or something funny, but remember to keep it light-hearted and meaningful.

Story time and anecdotes

The storytelling part of your best man speech is what will take up the most time and open the door for sentimental things. Start from the beginning, and don’t get stuck on too many details.

• How did you meet the groom?
• What is one of your favourite memories with him?
• How did the groom meet the bride? Were you there?

If you’ve known the groom for a long time, you could talk about:

• Your first meeting.
• Your first impression of him.
• Your shared history, especially if it’s amusing or embarrassing.

If you haven’t known the groom for very long, you could focus on:

• A specific, detailed, and funny story that sums up your friendship.
• How the groom has changed since meeting his partner.
• How you met the groom through his partner, and the adventures you’ve had with them both.

When telling your story, be sure to:

• Include a little bit of embarrassment, whether it’s you, the groom, or a mutual friend.
• Bring wedding guests into the storytelling moment.
• Include sensory details: what did the scenery look like? What were the prominent sounds, smells, and tastes at the moment?
• End with a final punchline.

> “When I first met Jeff, he was in a period of transition in life, like we all go through. He had just started a new job at my office in San Francisco, and we met because of our mutual addiction to double shot espressos (iced with a little cream) at 6 AM every morning from the corner coffee shop Bob’s Cup O’ Joe. When we both arrived at the office at the same time, 3 days in a row with eyes like this [widen eyes big], I knew we would be friends for life. A million espressos, meetings, and after-work beers later, I am so proud to call Jeff my best friend. When he told me about meeting a beautiful blonde named Anne at Bob’s Cup O’ Joe a few years later, I knew something would become of it. She even drank the same double shot espressos, iced with a little cream!”

> “The year was 1993, the class was kindergarten. I was building a beautiful tower of blocks when out of nowhere, they were knocked to the ground by a classmate without mercy or even an apology. That classmate was Matt, and we’ve been best friends ever since. And Matt, I’m sorry for throwing the blocks at your head after that.”

> “I first met Brent when we attended the University of Texas and pledged a fraternity together. It was here amongst the upside-down beer bongs, ritual humiliation and complete lack of sleep that I knew I had met a friend for life. This may sound overly emotional and slightly premature but when you discover your new buddy is packing his dad’s credit card with no limits, who wouldn’t want him as a friend for life? Just for the record Mr. Schakett, I know at times you may have been concerned about the amount of money Brent spent on alcohol and food on that card. You shouldn’t have: the Shot Man Schakett never wasted any of your money on food.”

> “I first met Nick way back in 1994 when we started secondary school together. Little did we know it at the time but it was the start of a beautiful relationship, which, for me, EVENTUALLY proved worth pursuing years later when I was able to borrow all his notes and pass my A Levels. Of course, Nick didn’t need them because he might look quite cool now but he was in fact a complete square at school. The day when he could read without putting his finger on the word and then count without using his hands, were both real breakthrough moments in his life, only to be capped a few weeks later when he passed his driving test.”

Advice and compliments

The best man's speech is a chance to shine a light on the couple's relationship and share some unique insights. It's also a time to honour your friend and the special bond you share. Here are some tips on how to structure the "advice and compliments" section of your best man speech:

Compliment the groom: It's important to say something nice and meaningful about the groom. You can highlight his best qualities and relate them to the occasion. For example, if he's known for being intelligent, you could say something like, "Marriage is a major adjustment for everyone. Before today, as a smart single man, Paul had all the answers. Now, as a married man, he has none."

Express heartfelt appreciation: Share your appreciation for the groom and highlight his special qualities. You can talk about what a great friend he is, how he inspires you, and how privileged you feel to be his best man. Just remember to keep it light and avoid getting too emotional.

Give advice: If you're married, you can offer some words of wisdom from your own experience. Or, you can ask married friends or family members for advice on love, compromise, and everyday living. You can also include some fun tips from famous couples in movies or TV shows.

Compliment the bride: Express your approval of the groom's choice of bride and pay tribute to her efforts in organising the wedding. You can also mention how the bride has positively influenced the groom and improved his life. For example, "Linda has been a wonderful influence on Paul. Since the day they met, he has been a happy soul, and I wish them all the future happiness they deserve."

Compliment the couple: Strengthen your bond with the newlyweds by expressing your support for their marriage. Emphasise how the bride has positively impacted the groom's life and how they complement each other. You can also share your admiration for their relationship and wish them a bright future together.

Remember, the key to a successful best man speech is to be genuine and heartfelt. Keep the tone light and friendly, and avoid anything that could be seen as offensive or embarrassing. With the right balance of humour and sincerity, your speech will be one to remember!

Frequently asked questions