Best Man's Speech: To Give Or Not?

The best man's speech is a time-honoured tradition at weddings, but it's not for everyone. While some best men relish the opportunity to give a speech, others dread the idea of public speaking. If you've been tasked with giving a best man's speech and aren't sure what to do, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to recognise that speech-giving isn't for everyone. If you're uncomfortable with public speaking, it's perfectly valid to decline the opportunity. You can still honour the couple in other ways, such as by giving a reading during the ceremony or simply offering your support behind the scenes.

If you decide to go ahead with the speech, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's a good idea to plan your speech ahead of time, express gratitude to the couple and guests, and focus on the couple's relationship rather than your own. Keep the speech short and sweet, and practice beforehand. It's also important to avoid inappropriate anecdotes, talk of exes, and long-winded stories. Finally, don't drink too much beforehand, as this could affect your performance.

How to start a best man speech

While being the best man at a wedding is an honour, it also comes with the responsibility of giving a memorable speech. The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, and it is important to get it right. Here are some tips on how to start a best man's speech:

Know your audience

The best man's speech should be engaging, witty, and delivered with a slightly exaggerated style. However, it is important to consider your whole audience when it comes to content. Raunchy jokes and innuendos are to be expected, but it is advisable to tone things down if there will be children present.

Prepare in advance

Confidence comes from putting in the work. While it may be tempting to "wing it" or "improvise on the day", it is generally a good idea to prepare your speech in advance. This will help you feel more confident and ensure that you don't go off-script or ramble.

Start with an introduction and an icebreaker

Begin your speech by introducing yourself as the best man. This is a great way to set the tone and achieve a "quick win" by getting the audience laughing as soon as possible. You can also include a light-hearted icebreaker or a well-chosen joke to warm up the guests and calm your nerves.

Share stories and anecdotes about the groom

The best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the groom and share stories that showcase his personality. Think of humorous, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that reveal who the groom is and your relationship with him. Exaggerate slightly for effect, but remember to keep it friendly and respectful.

Acknowledge the bride and their connection

Take a moment to acknowledge the bride and their special guests. This is an opportunity to contrast the previous humour with something more meaningful and sincere. You can talk about how the couple met and their unique connection, emphasising moments that showcase their bond.

Include words of wisdom and compliments

If you are married, you can offer some golden rules for a happy marriage. If not, you can ask friends or family members for advice on love, compromise, and everyday living. Take a moment to compliment the couple and reflect on your favourite things about their relationship.

Keep it brief

A best man's speech should ideally be around seven minutes long. This is the perfect amount of time for a well-planned and well-rehearsed speech. Anything longer may cause the audience to lose interest, and a shorter speech is better than one that drags on.

How to talk about the groom

So, you've been asked to be the best man at a wedding – congratulations! Now it's time to start thinking about the best man's speech. Here are some tips on how to talk about the groom.

How to Structure Your Speech About the Groom

Begin with a light-hearted icebreaker or a joke to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. Then, introduce yourself and explain how you know the groom. This will help establish your connection with the guests, especially those who may not know you well.

Share some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom. This is the key section of your speech, so make it count! You can also include some playful roasting, but always keep it friendly and respectful. If you have any props that enhance your story, now is the time to use them.

Next, compliment the groom and say something meaningful about his positive attributes. You could highlight his best qualities and relate them to the occasion. For example, if he is known for being smart or intelligent, you could say something like, ""Marriage, for everybody, is a major adjustment. Before today, as a smart single man, [groom's name] had all the answers. Now, as a married man, he has none."

What to Include in Your Speech About the Groom

• How you know the groom and the history of your friendship.
• Amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom, including childhood stories or memories from school or university.
• The groom's positive attributes and qualities, such as his intelligence, entrepreneurship, or generosity.
• How the bride has had a positive impact on the groom, such as improving his wardrobe or encouraging him to show an interest in things outside of pubs and football.
• Compliments to the bride and how she and the groom are a great match.
• A toast to the couple, wishing them a happy future together.

Remember, the best man's speech should be about 7 minutes long – enough time to include all the traditional aspects and your personal touches without losing the attention of the guests. Good luck with your speech!

How to talk about the couple

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, and it's essential to get it right. While you might feel weighed down by the expectation to be funny, it's important to remember that the speech is ultimately about the couple and their special day. Here are some tips on how to talk about the couple in your best man's speech:

Break the Ice:

Begin with a light-hearted joke or icebreaker to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. You can make a joke about your unpreparedness or even poke fun at the groom's speech. Just make sure to avoid overdone best man jokes that will fall flat.

Introduce Yourself and Your Friendship:

After the opening, introduce yourself and share how you met the groom. This will help establish your connection with everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well. You can even include a humorous tale about your first encounter.

Share Stories and Anecdotes:

This is the key section of your speech. Share amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom and their life. You can also include some childhood stories or memories from school or university. If you know the couple well, you can talk about how they met and their unique connection. Keep the stories light-hearted and friendly, avoiding any embarrassing or humiliating details.

Compliment the Couple:

Take a moment to compliment both the groom and their partner. You can talk about the qualities that make them a great couple and how they have influenced each other positively. Compliment the bride's efforts in organising the wedding and express your approval of her choice of groom.

Offer Words of Wisdom:

If you're married or have experience in long-term relationships, you can offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice to the newlyweds. You can also ask friends or family members for tips and include some fun marriage advice from TV or movies.

Raise a Final Toast:

Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them a future filled with happiness and love. This is your chance to sincerely express your well-wishes for their married life together.

Remember, the best man's speech should be about the couple, so keep the focus on them throughout your speech. Avoid making it about yourself or your role as the best man. Most importantly, have fun with it and let your authenticity shine through!

How to end a best man speech

While the best man is not obliged to give a speech, it is a highlight of any wedding. Here are some tips on how to end a best man's speech.

The Toast

The best man should give a toast to the newlyweds, asking everyone to raise their glasses and drink to the couple's future together. This is the ideal way to end a best man's speech.

Who to Toast?

Traditionally, the best man only toasts the newlyweds. However, it is common to include a nod to the bridesmaids as well. If you are particularly close with the groom's family, you may want to mention them, but this is not traditional. It is important to check with the couple to ensure you are not doubling up on toasts.

Your toast should be brief, snappy, and to the point, ending on a positive note that celebrates the newlyweds. Here are some examples:

> "So here’s to [Groom’s Name], the only man I know who can turn up late to his own wedding rehearsal — but who, thankfully, showed up right on time when it mattered most. And to [Partner’s Name], for agreeing to put up with him! To love, laughter, and happily ever after. Cheers!"

> "Here’s to [Groom’s Name], the man who still thinks ‘Netflix and chill’ means watching Netflix… and to [Partner’s Name], who loves him anyway. May your marriage be filled with laughter, love, and slightly better communication! Cheers!"

> "To the happy couple — may your love be as enduring as [Groom’s Name]’s legendary hangovers, and may your life together be filled with adventure, joy, and slightly fewer tequila shots. Cheers!"

> "Please join me in raising a glass to the happy couple – to [NAME] and [NAME]"

> "Here is a toast to a perfect couple – to a long life together filled with happiness, adventure and lots of wonderful memories"

> "To [NAME] and [NAME] – here is to a lifetime of love and happiness"

> "Raise your glass and join me in a toast to [NAME] and [NAME] – may you always be friends as well as lovers"

> "Time to raise our glasses to the happy couple because I like both of you - do you have any idea how rare that is?"

> "For one more time, I’m going to ask everyone to charge their glasses and – for those who still can – stand, and raise a glass to the newlyweds"

> "To the two things that make a great marriage – having a good sense of humour and selective hearing. To [NAME] and [NAME]"

> "To [NAME] and [NAME] – we all knew [NAME] had found the one when he/she started spending more time with [NAME] than he did playing on his/her Xbox!"

> "To [NAME] and [NAME], before I finish, I’d like you to turn to face each other. You’re now looking into the eyes of the person who is statistically most likely to murder you. To the happy couple!"

Quotes

Using a quote as your best man toast is a great way to wow the guests and leave a lasting impression. Here are some examples:

> "I would like to end on some wise words from Socrates: ‘My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife/husband, you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.’ To the happy couple!"

> "Here’s one of my favourite Oscar Wilde quotes: ‘The man who says his wife/husband can’t take a joke forgets that she/he took him.’ To [NAME] and [NAME]."

> "Before we raise a glass to the newlyweds, I’d like to share a Pauline Thomason quote with you: ‘Love is blind – marriage is the eye-opener.’ To the happy couple!"

> "Here’s a poem by Ogden Nash to finish on: To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, where you are wrong, admit it, and when you are right, shut up! To [NAME] and [NAME]"

> "To [NAME] and [NAME] – here’s an Antoine de Saint-Exupery quote to finish on: ‘Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.’”

> "Before we raise our glasses, I’d like to share this Mignon McLaughlin quote with [NAME] and [NAME]: ‘A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.’”

Best man speech alternatives

While the best man's speech is a long-standing tradition at weddings, it is not an obligation. If you are uncomfortable with public speaking, there are many alternative ways to celebrate the couple and their story. Here are some ideas for best man speech alternatives:

Give a Joint Speech

Nervousness can be alleviated by delivering the speech with another person, such as the mother and father of the bride, the bride and groom, or the chief bridesmaid and best man. This takes the pressure off any one individual and makes the experience more fun and relaxed.

Change the Speech-Giver

There is no reason why the bride, chief bridesmaid, uncle, aunt, or close friend can't give a speech instead. Just ensure that they include anecdotes and a nod to the traditional speech givers. It is a lovely way to include them, even if they don't want to take the lead role.

Alter the Timeline

Wedding speeches typically take place right after the wedding breakfast. However, you could change this by having the speeches later in the evening, perhaps after a few drinks when everyone is feeling more relaxed. Alternatively, you could schedule the speeches for during the drinks reception (pre- or post-ceremony) or at the rehearsal dinner.

Put Together a Slideshow

Putting together a slideshow is a little easier than a video, but it relies on someone finding lots of pictures of the couple over the years and during their childhood. Aim for around 150 pictures if you want to play it on a continuous loop during the wedding breakfast. Add captions for guests to read and perhaps some music to create a fun atmosphere.

Engage a Storyteller

Hire a professional storyteller to speak with the couple beforehand and weave an epic adventure around their story of love and romance. This can be recorded or kept as a written copy for the couple to look back on.

Organise a Table Quiz

This idea involves guests answering questions about the couple, with the winning table announced later in the day. Appoint someone to be in charge of putting pens and answer sheets on tables, asking the questions, and scoring the quiz.

Open Mic

Choose one person who is a confident MC and have them conduct an open mic, inviting guests to speak. This ensures that everyone who wants to speak gets to contribute and is a great way to include step-parents who may otherwise be left out of traditional speeches.

Change the Location

If the idea of being the centre of attention in a formal wedding setting doesn't appeal, consider having the speeches outdoors, with guests standing, sitting on hay bales, or at picnic tables. This creates a more relaxed atmosphere.

Plan a Performance

If the thought of giving a speech is daunting, perhaps the best man would be happier to rap, sing, dance, or otherwise perform. It could be easier to prepare and practice a routine and stick to that. Make sure to record it so the couple can look back on it.

Frequently asked questions