The Best Man: A Groom's Right-Hand Man At His Wedding

The best man is the groom's right-hand man, tasked with supporting the groom throughout the planning process and on the wedding day. The role is typically assigned to the groom's closest friend or family member, but there are no set rules. The best man is usually in charge of planning the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for the groomsmen, and holding the wedding rings during the ceremony. They may also be responsible for choosing the groomsmen's attire, giving a speech, and ensuring the groom and groomsmen arrive on time. While the role comes with important duties, it is also an honour to be chosen as the best man and a chance to be part of one of the happiest days in the groom's life.

Planning the stag do

So, your friend has asked you to be their best man. Congratulations! Now it's time to start planning the stag do. Here are some tips to help you create an unforgettable experience for the groom:

• Start early: Don't leave planning the stag do until the last minute. The earlier you start, the more options you'll have, and the less stressful it will be.
• Involve the groom: Check with the groom about their preferences for the stag do. Discuss the budget, guest list, activities, and dates. Pick two or three dates that work for most of the group and choose the one that accommodates the majority.
• Consider the budget: When planning activities and locations, be mindful of everyone's budget. A lavish trip to Vegas might sound appealing, but it's only fun if everyone can afford it. A more low-key stag do closer to home might be a better option.
• Add a personal touch: Think of ways to personalise the stag do. This could be through games, pranks (at least one is a must!), or activities that reflect the groom's interests.
• Allow time for recovery: Try to organise the stag do at least three months before the wedding. This will give everyone, including the groom, enough time to recover from any hangovers or bruises before the big day.
• Get help if needed: Planning a stag do can be a lot of work, so don't be afraid to ask for help. There are also companies that specialise in planning stag dos, who can take the pressure off your shoulders.

Other Best Man Duties

In addition to planning the stag do, the best man has several other important duties before, during, and after the wedding. Here are some key responsibilities to keep in mind:

• Suit shopping: Assist the groom and groomsmen with choosing their wedding attire and scheduling fittings.
• Emotional support: Be there for the groom throughout the planning process, providing a listening ear and reassurance.
• Speech writing: Prepare a best man's speech that includes humorous and thoughtful anecdotes about the groom. Practice your speech beforehand and keep it appropriate for the audience.
• Wedding rings: On the wedding day, the best man is often entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe and presenting them during the ceremony.
• Greeting guests: Welcome guests at the wedding venue and stand by the groom's side as he greets them too.
• Master of ceremonies: If the couple hasn't hired one, the best man may need to step in as the master of ceremonies, introducing key moments like the couple's arrival, speeches, and cake cutting.
• Post-wedding tasks: After the wedding, the best man may be asked to help with returning hired items, dry cleaning, and storing wedding gifts if the couple is leaving for their honeymoon right away.

Writing the best man's speech

Understand the Role of the Best Man:

Before writing your speech, it is essential to understand the role of the best man at the wedding. The best man is typically the groom's closest friend or family member and serves as the groom's right-hand man throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day. The best man's duties include planning the stag party, helping with wedding attire, offering emotional support, and delivering a speech that celebrates the groom and the newlyweds.

Start Crafting Your Speech:

Begin by writing down all your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. Free writing can help you brainstorm ideas and stories to include in your speech. Using a template as a guide is also a good idea, especially if you're unsure where to start. Templates can provide a basic structure, but be sure to infuse your speech with your personality and experiences.

Opening and Closing Lines:

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial as they leave a lasting impression on the audience. Start with a compelling introduction that grabs their attention and sets the tone. You can use a quote, a joke, or a story to break the ice and introduce yourself. End your speech with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple. This could be a heartfelt quote, an inside joke, or a sincere wish for their future together.

Add Personal Touches:

Share stories, anecdotes, and experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. Include funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing moments that the audience will find entertaining and engaging. Additionally, express what the groom means to you and why you were chosen as the best man. Talk about how he's always had your back, given great advice, or any other qualities that make him special to you.

Delivering the Speech:

Practice your speech as much as possible to refine your delivery and build confidence. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to get feedback and make improvements. It's normal to feel nervous before delivering the speech, so take deep breaths, slow down, and visualise yourself as a confident speaker. Connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, using hand gestures, and speaking clearly and genuinely. Keep your speech focused, and try to aim for a duration of around 4-7 minutes to hold the attention of your audience.

Address the Couple Directly:

Don't forget to address the happy couple directly and wish them a happy and prosperous future together. This is your opportunity to raise a toast to them and invite all the guests to join in. You can come up with a clever toast or simply ask everyone to raise their glasses to the couple.

Choosing the groom's attire

The groom's attire is an important part of the wedding and can be chosen to reflect his style and personality. While classic suit or tuxedo options are still popular, grooms may also opt for more casual or alternative looks. Here are some tips and considerations for choosing the groom's attire:

• Start planning the outfit 2-3 months before the wedding. This will give you enough time for any necessary adjustments and fittings.
• Decide whether to buy or rent a suit or tuxedo based on your budget, preferred style, desired wearability, and the level of formality of the wedding.
• Get your body measurements taken by a professional tailor to ensure your suit fits perfectly and complements your body type.
• Consider the styling details such as jacket type (single- or double-breasted), lapel style (notch, peak, or shawl), and trouser length (no break, half break, or full break).
• Choose accessories such as belts, suspenders, pocket squares, boutonnieres, ties, and cufflinks to add a personal touch and enhance your look.
• If you have groomsmen, decide whether they should match or complement your outfit. They shouldn't wear the same suit as you, but they can wear the same colour or a coordinated palette.
• Consider the formality of the wedding and the season or venue when choosing your attire. For example, suits are generally better for less formal events, while tuxedos are more suitable for formal, black-tie weddings.
• If your wedding has a specific theme or cultural requirements, you may need to seek out a specialty clothier or tailor to create traditional garments.
• For military personnel, consider wearing your full military dress, choosing the most formal uniform suitable for your rank.
• Remember to take care of your attire before and after the wedding, including steaming, pressing, washing, storing, and returning any rented items.

Whether you're going for a classic or alternative look, choosing the right groom's attire is an important part of the wedding planning process. Start early, seek professional advice, and don't be afraid to add personal touches to make your outfit unique and memorable.

Acting as the groom's confidant

The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen and is responsible for all communication and coordination of their activities and duties. This includes helping to choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, gathering measurements, and giving order deadlines. The best man may also need to coordinate transportation for the groomsmen to and from the wedding events.

In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man is also expected to attend pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, shower, and ceremony rehearsal, as well as the rehearsal dinner.

On the wedding day itself, the best man will help the groom get ready, ensure he eats and drinks enough, and deliver a letter to his future spouse. The best man may also hold onto the groom's phone and help to calm any pre-wedding jitters.

Throughout the wedding day, the best man will act as the groom's personal aide and adviser, ensuring he is where he needs to be and that everything is running smoothly. This may include liaising with vendors and dealing with any problems that arise.

The best man is also responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time to exchange vows.

In summary, the best man plays a central role in supporting the groom and ensuring he has a stress-free and enjoyable wedding day. By acting as the groom's confidant, the best man can help to create a memorable and happy day for the couple.

Ensuring the wedding runs smoothly

As the best man, you'll be the groom's right-hand man, go-to, and confidant. You'll be responsible for keeping the groom calm and happy, and making sure everything goes to plan.

In the lead-up to the wedding, you'll be in charge of organising the stag do, and you may also be involved in choosing the groom's and groomsmen's attire. You'll also be the point of contact for the groom's family and the groomsmen, so make sure you're across the schedule and keep everyone informed.

On the day of the wedding, you'll be in charge of the rings, and you'll need to make sure the groom and groomsmen are where they need to be, when they need to be there. You'll greet guests with the groom, stand at the altar with him, and sign the marriage license as a witness. You'll also be the master of ceremonies, introducing the key players and making sure everyone is having a good time.

After the wedding, you'll be responsible for collecting and storing gifts, and returning or cleaning suits.

Frequently asked questions