Addressing A Pastor: Wedding Invitation Etiquette

When addressing a wedding invitation to a pastor, it is important to follow the correct etiquette and include their official title. The specific title used will depend on the branch of Christianity they preach. For example, The Reverend is typically used for Protestant ministers, while The Reverend Father is used for Catholic priests. If the pastor has a doctorate, this should also be included in the address, such as The Reverend Dr. It is also common courtesy to include the spouse's name on the invitation, using appropriate titles such as Mr., Mrs., or Dr.. In the case of a husband and wife who are both pastors, the traditional way to address them is The Reverends [Last Name].

Addressing a pastor and their spouse

When addressing a wedding invitation to a pastor and their spouse, it's important to use the correct titles and names to show respect. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Formal Addressing:

• Use "The Reverend" for both Protestant and Catholic pastors on the outer envelope. Include the pastor's full name. For example, "The Reverend Mark Smith".
• If both spouses are pastors with the same last name, address them as "The Reverends" followed by their last name. For instance, "The Reverends Carr".
• Include degrees for pastors with doctorates. You can list the degree at the end of the name or use "Dr." after the religious title. For example, "The Reverend Dr. Mark Smith" or "The Reverend Mark Smith, Ph.D.".
• Address the spouse separately with appropriate titles such as Mr., Mrs., or Ms. If they don't share the same last name, include their full name. For instance, "The Reverend Mark Smith and Ms. Molly Doe".
• In many African-American congregations, the wife of the pastor is known as the "First Lady". Address her as "First Lady" followed by her first and last name. For example, "The Reverend Ronnie Franklin and First Lady Linda Franklin".
• If the spouse has a military rank, place them before the pastor on the envelope and include their military title and branch. For instance, "Colonel Jane Wilton, US Army and The Reverend Max Wilton".

Informal Addressing:

• Use "Pastor" followed by the pastor's full name for Protestant denominations in casual correspondence such as emails. For example, "Pastor Molly Mitchell".
• For Catholic priests, use the title "Reverend" with their full name in informal communication. You can also use "Father" if you know them well. For instance, "Reverend John Smith" or "Father John Smith".
• Use casual abbreviations if desired. Abbreviate "Reverend" to "Rev." and "Pastor" to "Pr." and use them with the pastor's last name. For example, "Rev. Dunt" or "Pr. Reese".
• Address the spouse with their normal title and full name. Use Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Dr. with their full name. For instance, "Dr. Johnson" or "Ms. Wells".

In-Person Addressing:

• Address Protestant pastors as "Pastor" followed by their last name. For a more casual greeting, use "Pastor" and their first name or simply "Pastor". For example, "Pastor Shannon" or "Pastor Jill".
• Address Catholic priests as "Father" with their last name. For a more informal greeting, use "Father" and their first name or simply "Father". For instance, "Father Everton" or "Father Don".
• Use the spouse's typical title with their last name. For example, "Dr. Johnson" or "Ms. Wells".
• If requested, switch to a first-name basis. Address them as they prefer to be called to show respect.

Addressing a pastor with a doctorate

When addressing a pastor with a doctorate, it is important to strike a balance between acknowledging their academic achievements and recognising their dedication to their role in the Church. The way you address a pastor with a doctorate may vary depending on whether you are addressing them verbally, in writing, or on an envelope.

If you are addressing a pastor with a doctorate verbally, it is considered respectful to use the titles "Reverend" or "Pastor" before their name. For example, "Reverend Smith" or "Pastor Smith". This protocol is seen as a way to honour their commitment to their religious vocation.

When sending written correspondence to a pastor with a doctorate, the envelope should be addressed similarly to the verbal form, using "Reverend" or "Pastor" before their name. For example, "Reverend Smith" or "Pastor Smith". However, when it comes to the salutation of the letter itself, you can use "Dear Dr." followed by their last name. For instance, "Dear Dr. Smith". This approach separates the academic achievement of the doctorate from their pastoral role.

It is worth noting that some sources suggest avoiding the use of "Dr." with "Pastor" together, as it may shift the focus from their pastoral duties to their academic credentials. In such cases, it is recommended to use "Pastor" when referring to their role in the church and "Dr." in academic or professional contexts where their additional qualifications are relevant.

Additionally, if you are inviting a pastor and their spouse to your wedding, the traditional way to address them on the outer envelope is by writing "The Reverend Dr. and Mrs." followed by the pastor's first and last names. For example, "The Reverend Dr. and Mrs. David Smith". On the inner envelope, you can simply write "Reverend Doe and Mrs. Doe" if you are inviting the spouse as well.

Addressing a pastor and their military spouse

When addressing a wedding invitation to a pastor and their military spouse, it's important to consider the specific titles and names to use, as well as the format of the address. Here are some guidelines to follow:

It is customary to use the pastor's specific religious title, such as "Pastor", "Reverend", or "Rector". Check the official title by referring to the church's website or by contacting the church office. If the pastor has a doctorate, you can use "The Reverend Dr.". The pastor's name should be written along with their spouse's name. If the spouse has a different last name, include their full name. Here are some examples:

• "The Reverend and Mrs. David Smith"
• "The Reverend Dr. and Mrs. Davis Smith"
• "The Reverend Alyson Smith and Lieutenant Commander Richard Smith"

Address Format:

The outer envelope of the invitation should include the full names and titles of both the pastor and their military spouse. The inner envelope can use abbreviations for the titles. Here's an example of how to format the address:

Outer envelope:

The Reverend and Mrs. David Smith

Ascension Baptist Church

100 Oak St.

Anywhere, FL 33256

Inner envelope:

Reverend and Mrs. Smith

Salutation:

When writing the salutation within the letter, you can address the pastor as "Dear Pastor", "Dear Reverend", or "Dear Dr." followed by their last name. For example:

• "Dear Pastor Smith"
• "Dear Reverend Smith"
• "Dear Dr. Smith"

Guest Precedence:

When deciding on the order of names, it's important to consider who has higher precedence. Typically, an active-duty or retired military officer will have higher precedence than a civilian. However, if the pastor is the invited guest and their military spouse is invited as an escort, then the pastor's name (as the guest of honour) would appear first.

Addressing a pastor in a letter/email

When addressing a pastor in a letter or email, it is important to use the correct title to show respect. The specific title you use will depend on the branch of Christianity the pastor preaches, with "Pastor" typically used for Protestant denominations and "Reverend" for Catholic denominations.

For formal correspondence, such as invitations, use "The Reverend" followed by the pastor's full name on the exterior envelope. If the pastor has a doctorate, you can include this after their name, for example, "The Reverend Dr. John Smith".

When addressing a married couple where both individuals are pastors, you can address them as "The Reverends" followed by their shared last name. If they have different last names, list the pastor first, followed by their spouse, including their appropriate titles and full names. For example, "The Reverend John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith".

For informal correspondence, such as emails or casual handwritten notes, you can use "Pastor" or "Reverend" followed by the pastor's full name or last name only. For instance, "Reverend John Smith" or "Pastor Smith".

If you are on a first-name basis with the pastor, it is acceptable to use their first name in addition to their title, such as "Pastor John" or simply "Pastor".

Addressing a pastor in person

When addressing a pastor in person, it is important to use their title and last name. For Protestant pastors, the appropriate title is "Pastor". For example, if the pastor's name is Jill Shannon, you would address her as "Pastor Shannon". Some congregations are more casual and may prefer to be addressed as "Pastor" followed by their first name, or simply "Pastor".

For Catholic priests of all denominations, the appropriate title is "Father", followed by their last name. For example, a priest named Don Everton would be addressed as "Father Everton". In very casual settings, the priest may be addressed as "Father" followed by their first name, or simply "Father".

If the pastor has a doctorate, this can be included in their title. For example, "Pastor Dr. Smith" or "Father Dr. Smith".

If you are unsure of the appropriate title, it is best to ask the pastor what they prefer to be called.

Frequently asked questions