Addressing Wedding Invites: The Etiquette Of Plus-One Guests

When it comes to wedding planning, addressing invitations can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to plus-ones. The general consensus is that it's best to include and Guest on the envelope to indicate that a plus-one is invited. This can be done on the inner envelope to maintain formality on the outer one. If you're unsure about the plus-one's name, you can simply write Mr. Smith & Guest and change it to their name on the seating chart later. Alternatively, you can include a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation, stating that the guest is welcome to bring a plus-one. It's important to be mindful of your guests' comfort and ensure that singles aren't sandwiched between couples. While it's not mandatory to offer plus-ones, it's a nice gesture to make your guests feel welcome and appreciated.

Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests

When addressing wedding invitations to married, engaged, and cohabitating guests, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to include both members of a married couple in the invitation, even if you are closer to one person than the other or have never met their spouse. This is true regardless of whether the couple shares the same last name or has different last names. For a heterosexual couple with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name]", while the inner envelope can be more casual, such as " [husband's first name] and [wife's first name]". If the couple has different last names, their names can be written on the same line with the woman's name first, or on separate lines if the combined names are too long.

For married couples where one spouse has hyphenated their last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. [husband's first name] [hyphenated last name] and Mr./Mrs. [wife's first name] [husband's last name]". The inner envelope can then be more casual, such as " [husband's first name] and [wife's first name]".

If you are inviting a couple who are engaged or cohabitating, it is generally considered good etiquette to include their partner in the invitation, even if you have never met them. In this case, you can address the outer envelope to your guest and add a note at the bottom or on the back of the invitation saying, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one". Alternatively, you can simply write " [guest's name] & Guest" on the outer envelope.

When addressing the outer envelope, you can also write the guest's first and last name without adding "and guest". This makes it clear that the invitation is directed to your guest, and they will see the "plus one" once they open the card.

Bridal Party Plus-Ones

It is generally agreed that members of the bridal party should be offered a plus-one, even if plus-ones are not offered to all guests. This is because they have given their time, love, energy, and money to the wedding, and it is a nice way to thank them for their efforts and support. It can also be awkward for a bridal party member to attend without a date, especially if they are the only one flying solo.

If you are worried about costs, it is not necessary to force each bridesmaid and groomsman to bring a date, but it is important to make the offer. If you are inviting the rest of your guests' partners by name, then you should do the same for the bridal party's dates. If you don't know the name of their date, the invitation can be addressed to the bridal party member and a plus-one, or "and guest".

• Write "Mr. Smith & Guest" on the envelope.
• Write the guest's name on the envelope, and add a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one".
• Write the guest's name on the outer envelope, and on the inner envelope write "and Guest".
• Write the guest's name and then "and guest" on the envelope.

Clear Criteria for Additional Guests

If you are inviting additional guests, it is important to establish clear criteria for who can and cannot bring a plus one. This will help to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some things to consider when setting your criteria:

• Spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners should always be invited. Even if you have never met them, your guest is part of a package deal.
• If you are having a bridal party, it is customary to allow them to bring a plus one as a token of appreciation for their efforts and support.
• If you allow one single guest outside of the bridal party to bring a plus one, you should extend this courtesy to all single guests to avoid any hurt feelings.
• However, weddings are expensive, and adding extra names may not be feasible for your budget. In this case, you should set clear and easily explainable criteria, such as only allowing single attendants to bring an additional person.
• If you are unable to accommodate all plus ones due to budget or space constraints, it is important to communicate this to your guests. You can politely decline by saying something like, "We would love for you to bring a guest, but this is a very intimate affair." It is best to deliver this message over the phone or in person rather than via email.
• Be mindful of seating arrangements for single guests. Avoid seating them between married couples or PDA-heavy pairs. Instead, place them between outgoing and friendly couples they will likely get along with to create a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

Plus-One on the Invitation

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, tradition holds that the inner and outer envelopes follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope is typically more formal, with the recipient's full name and title included. The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for a more casual tone with first names only or a combination of titles and last names.

If you want to offer a plus-one option to your wedding guests, there are a few ways to indicate this on the invitation. One option is to write "and guest" on the envelope. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson and guest". This approach clearly communicates that the invitee is welcome to bring a guest, without needing to know the guest's name in advance.

Another option is to include a note on the invitation itself or on a separate card enclosed with the invitation. This note can simply state, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one". This approach allows for a more discreet indication of the plus-one option and can be a good choice if you prefer a more concise invitation envelope.

If you are using only one envelope, it is important to list all invited parties, including plus-ones, on the front of the envelope. This ensures that your guests understand who is invited. For example, "Mr. Aaron Triguiero and guest".

It is worth noting that you are not obligated to offer plus-ones to all guests. You may choose to be selective and only offer plus-ones where you think they are needed. Additionally, it is generally understood that if an invitation does not include "and guest", the invitee is expected to attend without a date.

Seating for Couples and Singles

When it comes to seating arrangements, it's important to be mindful of your single guests' comfort. While it may be tempting to create a "singles table", this may give off the impression that you are corralling your single friends. Instead, try to place them between outgoing and friendly couples with similar interests and personalities, to create a more communal feel. This way, your single friends can meet people organically and feel welcomed.

It is also important to consider the personalities and commonalities of your guests when creating your seating plan. Avoid grouping people together who you know do not get along. If you have guests who don't know anyone, seat them near guests with similar interests. If you have a group of friends that can't fit at one table, split them down the middle and fill in each table with other guests. Whatever you do, don't leave one member of the crew out.

If you have no idea where to seat your parents' friends, let your parents and in-laws arrange those tables. They will be thrilled to be involved and this may keep them from trying to control the rest of your seating plan.

When it comes to couples, it is best not to separate them with an obstructive centerpiece. While your most gregarious friends may enjoy meeting new people, sitting at a table full of strangers can be intimidating. Therefore, it is best to put acquaintances together when possible.

For children, a kids' table is a good idea, as long as it is located near their parents. Consider placing some colouring books and other activities at the kids' table to keep them entertained. If your flower girl and ring bearer are the only children present, seat them with their parents.

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