Who's Invited? Wedding Invitation Etiquette For Guest Names

Wedding invitations are an important part of the big day, and getting all the details right is key. One common question that arises is whether to specify the number of guests on the invitation. The answer to this depends on a few factors, including the formality of the event, the budget, and the preference of the couple.

If you're inviting a couple, it's considered good etiquette to include both names on the invitation. If they have different last names, the person you are closest with can be listed first, or you can go in alphabetical order. For unmarried couples, both names should be included on the same line.

When inviting a single person, it is common to offer them the option to bring a plus-one, especially if it is a formal event. This can be indicated on the outer envelope or clarified on the inner envelope or through a separate note. However, it is not necessary to offer every guest a plus-one, especially if it is a budget concern or if the venue has limited space.

Single guests with a plus-one

Deciding on your wedding guest list can be a tricky process, especially when it comes to plus-ones. Here is some advice on how to navigate offering plus-ones to single guests.

Who Should Get a Plus-One?

Firstly, it is important to remember that your wedding guest list is completely up to you and your partner. However, there are some general guidelines that can help you navigate this process.

It is customary to offer a plus-one to guests who are married, engaged, or living with their partner. This is seen as a sign of respect and acknowledging their commitment. It is also common courtesy to extend a plus-one to members of your wedding party, as a token of appreciation for their time, love, money, and energy.

In addition, you may want to consider offering a plus-one to single guests who won't know anyone else at the wedding, especially if they are travelling to attend. This ensures that all your guests feel comfortable and have a good time.

Who Doesn't Need a Plus-One?

On the other hand, single guests who are friendly with other guests and won't be isolated don't necessarily need a plus-one. It is not considered rude or incorrect etiquette to not offer a plus-one to these guests, especially if you have budget or space constraints.

How to Communicate Plus-Ones on Invitations

When it comes to addressing your wedding invitations, there are a few ways to indicate whether a guest has a plus-one:

• For couples in a partnership, list both names on the invitation.
• For single guests with a plus-one, address the invitation to the guest's name followed by "and guest".
• If you don't know the name of the plus-one, simply write "and guest" on the envelope.
• For guests who aren't receiving a plus-one, address the invitation to their name only.

You can also include a phrase on the RSVP card to clarify, such as "We have reserved 1 seat in your honour" or "Number of guests attending: 1".

Handling Requests for a Plus-One

Despite your best efforts, you may still receive requests from guests asking for a plus-one. Here are some tips on how to handle this situation:

• Stick to your guns: If you have set clear rules for plus-ones, it's okay to stand by them. Explain that you have limited space or budget constraints and that these rules apply to everyone.
• Consider special circumstances: If a guest's situation has changed since you sent out the invitations (e.g., they recently got engaged), you may want to reconsider and extend a plus-one.
• Offer a waitlist: If you have limited space, let the guest know that numbers are tight but you will reach out if anything changes.
• Provide a polite but firm response: If a guest has already RSVPEd for a plus-one without your approval, respond with a statement like, "Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate any plus-ones due to venue restrictions."

Married couples with the same last name

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to get all the details right. Here are some tips for addressing invitations to married couples with the same last name:

Outer Envelope

For heterosexual couples, the outer envelope is typically addressed using "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For same-sex couples, either name can go first.

If the couple prefers a more modern approach, you can include both names. For instance: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

Inner Envelope

The inner envelope can be more informal and can include the couple's first names. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

Invitation Wording

When it comes to the invitation wording, the traditional approach is to include the names of the couple's parents as hosts, especially if they are contributing financially. However, it is also common for couples to host their own weddings or to do so together with their parents. In this case, you can use wording such as: "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."

If you want to include the name of a deceased parent, you can rearrange the wording. For example: "Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honor of your presence at their wedding..."

In the case of divorced parents, you can include all parents' names, keeping each parent on a separate line. If you want to include stepparents, keep their names on the same line as their partners.

Additional Information

Other important elements to include in your wedding invitations are the request to come to the wedding, reception information, and dress code (if applicable).

It is also essential to provide clear RSVP instructions, including a deadline for responses and details on how to RSVP, such as a pre-addressed envelope or a link to your wedding website.

Remember to send your invitations with plenty of time to allow your guests to make travel arrangements if needed.

Married couples with different last names

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to get all the details right. This includes the names of your invitees. For married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette guidelines to follow when addressing your invitations.

Firstly, it's important to note that the outer and inner envelopes of your invitations may be addressed differently. For a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope should include both their names on the same line, with the woman's name listed first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately. Here's an example:

> "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

If you are using inner envelopes, the inner envelope can be addressed more casually, using only the couple's first names or their first names and last names. Here are some examples:

> "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are inviting a couple with different last names and one person has a distinguished title, such as a doctor or military officer, their title should be included. The professional titles of doctors (medical only), commissioned military officers, and judges outrank social titles and should always be listed first. Here's an example:

> "Doctor Katherine Herman and Mr. Gary Shepherd"

If both individuals in the couple have the same professional title, such as doctors or military officers, you can address them as such, followed by their names. Here's an example:

> "The Doctors Jason and Brandon Weiss" or "Drs. Jason and Brandon Weiss"

If the couple has different professional titles, generally, the female's title is listed first, or you can list them alphabetically by last name if they are the same sex.

Additionally, if one spouse has chosen to hyphenate their last name, the outer envelope should include the hyphenated name for that individual. Here's an example:

> "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Sarah Kennedy-Smith"

Finally, when it comes to indicating whether guests are invited, it is best to be clear and explicit. If you are inviting a couple and you know the name of their significant other, it is best to include their name on the invitation. If you are giving them the option to bring a guest, you can indicate this by writing "+1" or "and guest" on the invitation.

Unmarried couples

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to be clear about who is invited to avoid any confusion or upset. This is especially important when addressing invitations to unmarried couples. Here are some tips to help you navigate this tricky situation:

Inviting Unmarried Couples Who Live Together

If an unmarried couple lives together, both names should be included on the invitation, even if you have never met the significant other. Make sure to put both guests' full names on the outer envelope and list the person you are closest to first. For example, "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee". On the inner envelope, you can use their first names, e.g., "Stanley and Amanda".

Inviting Unmarried Couples Who Live Separately

When an unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a separate invitation to each person. However, it has become more acceptable to send one invitation to the primary invited guest. In this case, include the significant other's name on the inner envelope. If you are friends with both partners and would invite them even if they were not a couple, it is best to send them separate invitations to their respective homes.

Offering a Plus One to Unmarried Guests

If you are offering a plus one to unmarried guests, there are a few ways to indicate this. You can write "and Guest" on the outer envelope, but this may be seen as inappropriate by some. Another option is to include a line on the RSVP card, such as "We have reserved __ seats in your honour". You can also write "and Guest" on the inner envelope, or simply have a conversation with the guest to let them know they are welcome to bring someone.

Additional Tips

• If you are unable to learn the name of an unmarried partner before sending out invitations, it is acceptable to write "and Guest" on the invitation.
• Be consistent with your policy on inviting unmarried couples to avoid upsetting or offending any of your friends and family.
• Remember to consider the design of your invitation suite, including the outer and inner envelopes, and leave enough space for all the necessary information.
• It is considered good manners to write the significant other's name on the invitation, and it also reduces the likelihood of a guest bringing an unvetted rebound date if they break up before the wedding.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your unmarried guests feel included and valued while also maintaining proper wedding invitation etiquette.

Families with children

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to get every detail right. Here are some tips for addressing invitations to families with children:

Outer Envelope Addressing

If you are inviting a family with children under the age of 18, the outer envelope should be addressed only to the parent(s) or guardian(s). For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham". This is the traditional way to indicate that the entire family is invited. However, if you are inviting adult children (18 and older), they should receive their own invitations.

Inner Envelope Addressing

On the inner envelope, you should list each child's name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly". Using "Miss" for girls under 18 is optional but acceptable. Boys don't need a title until they're 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".

Alternative Formats

If you are using only one envelope, all invited parties, including children, should be listed on the front. For example, "The Abraham Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany, and Kelly". This format can be especially useful if you are short on space.

Additional Considerations

Even with proper addressing, some guests may still mistakenly assume their children are welcome. To avoid confusion, you can add a message to your wedding website or ask your immediate family and wedding party to help spread the word that the wedding will be adults-only.

Frequently asked questions