Navigating Wedding Invitation Timing During A Pandemic

Planning a wedding during a pandemic is stressful, and sending out invitations can be daunting. While you should write your wedding invitations as you usually would, you'll need to include a separate COVID details card. This card should communicate your COVID safety plan, such as social distancing, mask-wearing, and any other measures you're taking to keep guests safe. It's also a good idea to include travel information and let guests know how they can contact you if their plans change due to COVID-related restrictions. In terms of timing, it's recommended to send out save-the-dates 6-12 months in advance, followed by the invitations within 6-8 weeks of the wedding date.

How to decline a wedding invitation due to Covid-19

The COVID-19 pandemic has sparked a lot of new questions on the subject of declining wedding invitations. Here are some steps you can follow to help you decline politely:

Think about your reasons for declining

It is worth chatting with the couple about your concerns before you make your decision. Depending on your reasons for declining, consider asking about the measures that will be in place on the day, or whether you could attend the outdoor parts of the day only. The couple may be happy to adjust their plans to make you feel more comfortable.

Consider your relationship with the couple

If you are very close with the couple, it might be best to break the news in person, or via a phone or video call. If, on the other hand, you don't know them well, an RSVP will usually suffice.

Be prompt

Don't leave it until the last minute. A prompt RSVP means the couple will have time to invite someone else, so be sure to work to the deadline indicated on the invitation.

Be honest

You don't have to give a specific reason why you can't attend, but it usually helps to soften the blow. Remember, couples are generally very understanding when it comes to COVID-19. No one is expecting life to magically return to normal.

Be concise

Don't go into too much detail. If you can't sum up your reasons in two sentences, try again. You want to give just enough information that the couple understands your reasons. Going into too much detail may cause more guilt and awkwardness.

Be consistent

Don't contradict yourself later on. If, for example, you've told the couple that you can't attend their wedding because you're avoiding indoor gatherings, don't post about attending another indoor event on social media the following week. The same goes for international travel.

Be careful with your wording

Don't make it sound like you think their wedding is unsafe. It's important to be clear that your reasons for not attending are personal and not a judgement on the couple's decision to go ahead with their wedding. Avoid phrases like, "I'm concerned for my safety," or "I wouldn't feel right about attending."

Be firm

Use clear, purposeful language to avoid any confusion.

Be polite

Use polite and respectful language throughout your communication with the couple.

Do follow up

Even if you don't know the couple very well, a follow-up call, email or text is a nice way to show that you're genuinely disappointed that you can't make it, and to diffuse any awkwardness.

Do consider celebrating in another way

Depending on your relationship with the couple, you could send a gift, arrange to meet them for a separate celebration, send a video message, or pen a few words of support to be read out during the speeches.

Sample phrases

• "Thank you for thinking of me. I regret to inform you that I have made the decision not to attend due to the ongoing situation with COVID-19, but please accept my warmest congratulations."
• "Regrettably, I will not be able to attend the wedding as I am avoiding large indoor gatherings/international travel at present."
• "Thank you so much for the invitation, I really appreciate it and it means a great deal. Unfortunately, I am not attending large indoor gatherings/travelling internationally at present, so I won't be able to make it."

When to send save-the-date cards

Save-the-date cards are a great way to let guests know about your wedding plans in advance so they can plan accordingly. Here are some tips on when to send them:

Timing is crucial when sending out save-the-date cards. As a general rule, it is recommended to send them out 8 to 12 months before the wedding, especially if it is a destination wedding or held during a holiday weekend. This gives guests ample time to make travel arrangements, request time off from work, and prepare for the event. Sending them earlier can also increase the chances of attendance, especially for those who live far away or have busy schedules.

However, it's important to note that you don't need to have all the wedding details finalized before sending save-the-dates. The key information to include is your names, wedding date(s), and location (city and state). You can also include your wedding website if you have one, but it's not necessary. Save-the-dates are meant to be high-level announcements, so avoid including overly specific details such as timing, colour schemes, or meal information.

It's also essential to be clear about who is invited to the wedding on the save-the-date cards. Include the names of all intended guests, even if they are assumed invitees, to avoid confusion. This clarity also helps guests with their travel and accommodation arrangements, especially if they are bringing a plus one. Remember, once the save-the-dates are sent out, you can't change your mind about the guest list.

In the context of COVID-19, it's a good idea to be upfront about any COVID-related information that may impact your guests' attendance. This could include travel restrictions, social distancing measures, mask requirements, or any other safety protocols you plan to implement. This information can be included on a separate details card along with your save-the-date or wedding invitation.

How to address Covid-19 in wedding invitations

The Covid-19 pandemic has made planning a wedding a stressful and unpredictable affair. However, there are ways to make the process easier and ensure the safety of your guests. Here are some instructive tips on how to address Covid-19 in your wedding invitations:

Provide a Covid-19 Details Card

The details card is where you can communicate any Covid-19 safety measures and protocols to your guests. This card can be included with your wedding invitation or sent separately. It's a great way to provide guests with specific information about your Covid-19 safety plan and any relevant local rules and regulations. You can include details such as your plan for social distancing, mask-wearing, limitations on the dance floor, food service safety, and any other relevant information. For example, if your venue is outdoors or has good airflow, be sure to mention this to ease guests' concerns.

Be Upfront About Covid-19-Related Information

It's important to be transparent and provide as much information as possible about Covid-19 precautions. This will help your guests feel more comfortable and at ease about attending your wedding. Let them know about any social distancing requirements, changes to the reception or ceremony due to Covid-19, and where they can find updated information about your wedding, such as on your wedding website.

Address Travel Restrictions

If your wedding involves guests travelling from different states or countries, be sure to address any travel restrictions or challenges they may face due to Covid-19. Provide clear instructions on how they can get in touch if their travel plans change unexpectedly. You may also want to consider having a family member or close friend manage last-minute RSVP changes to reduce stress as your wedding day approaches.

Include Your Wedding Website Link

Many couples use a wedding website or social media group as their primary means of communication with guests. Include this information on your wedding invitation details card so guests know where to find the latest updates and announcements. You can also encourage guests to RSVP online and provide a link to your FAQ page, where they can find answers to any Covid-19-related questions.

Provide Options for Your RSVP Card

Pre-pandemic, wedding reply cards were typically a simple yes or no. However, with Covid-19, it's a good idea to offer more flexible options. For example, you could include options such as "We'd love to attend but can't travel due to Covid-19" or "We'll be there with bells on (and masks too, if needed)".

Be Prepared for Postponements

If you need to postpone your wedding due to Covid-19, there are a few ways to communicate the new date. You can include a note in your details card, send a change-of-date card by mail or email, or even combine these methods. Provide clear information about the new date and any other relevant details.

Remember, while it's important to address Covid-19 in your wedding invitations, you can also direct guests to your wedding website or other communication channels for more detailed and up-to-date information.

How to write a Covid-19 wedding invitation details card

The Covid-19 pandemic has brought about a "new normal" in many aspects of our lives, including weddings. Writing wedding invitations during this time can be daunting for couples, but it is important to be upfront about Covid-19-related information to keep guests comfortable and at ease. Here are some tips and suggestions on how to write a Covid-19 wedding invitation details card:

Be Informative About Your Covid-19 Safety Plan:

Explain the measures you are taking to ensure your guests' safety. Include details such as social distancing, mask-wearing, dance floor limitations, food service safety, and any relevant information about the venue, such as outdoor spaces or good airflow. Here is an example:

> As of now, our plan is to host both our ceremony and reception outdoors, limit our guest list to 100 guests, and have an extra-large dance floor. Our caterers will individually serve all courses of dinner, and there will be no grazing tables or shared buffets. We're now allowed to gather without masks, but should that change, we'll happily amend our mask expectations accordingly.

Address Travel Restrictions and Changes:

International and interstate travel can be challenging during the pandemic, and plans can change unexpectedly. Include a dedicated section in your details card to address this. Provide a contact method, such as a phone number or email address, for guests to reach out if their travel plans change. You may also want to assign a family member or close friend to manage these last-minute changes.

Include Your Wedding Website Link:

Many couples use a wedding website or social media group as their primary means of communication with guests. Include this information on your details card so guests know where to find the latest updates and announcements. You can also encourage guests to RSVP through the website, allowing them to provide their attendance and vaccination status.

Provide Options for Your RSVP Card:

Instead of a simple yes or no tick box, consider offering more flexible options that reflect the current circumstances. For example:

• "We'd love to attend, but can't travel due to Covid."
• "We can't wait to participate in your virtual wedding!"
• "We'll be there with bells on (and masks too, if needed)."
• "If Covid restrictions ease in time, count us in."

Be Clear About Any Postponements or Cancellations:

If you need to postpone or cancel your wedding due to Covid-19, communicate this to your guests as soon as possible. You can send cards, letters, or reach out through phone calls and social media posts. Be brief and considerate in your message, explaining that you are prioritizing safety and will celebrate when it is safe to do so.

Be Knowledgeable About Wording Etiquette:

The formality of your invitation should match the formality of your event. For a conservative wedding, use more formal language, while for an informal event, you can be more casual. Include essential details such as the date, time, and dress code. If you are including a separate details card, you can also mention your registry details and other relevant information.

How to deal with travel restrictions

When it comes to dealing with travel restrictions, it's important to be flexible and prepared for last-minute changes. Here are some tips to help you navigate this challenging aspect of planning a wedding during the COVID-19 pandemic:

• Be Informed About Travel Restrictions: Familiarize yourself with the latest travel rules and regulations, both locally and internationally. Each state or country may have its own set of restrictions, and these can change unexpectedly. Stay updated to make informed decisions and communicate effectively with your guests.
• Communicate Clearly: Be upfront and transparent about COVID-19-related details in your wedding invitations. Let your guests know about any travel restrictions they should be aware of and provide clear instructions on how to contact you if their travel plans change. You may also want to include a COVID wedding invitation details card with specific information.
• Provide Contact Information: Include contact information on your wedding invitations or details card. This could be your phone number, email, or a designated family member or friend's contact details who can manage last-minute RSVP changes. This ensures that guests know how to reach you if their travel plans are impacted.
• Offer Virtual Attendance Options: Consider offering a virtual attendance option for guests who are unable to travel. Live-streaming your wedding allows those who can't be there in person to still be a part of your special day. Provide a link to a Zoom meeting or your wedding website, where guests can find the latest information.
• Be Prepared for Last-Minute Changes: Last-minute cancellations due to travel restrictions are a possibility. Have a plan in place to handle these changes seamlessly. Communicate any updates to your caterer and other vendors promptly. If possible, designate a family member or friend to handle these last-minute changes to reduce stress during the final weeks before your wedding.
• Consider Postponement: If a significant number of guests are facing travel restrictions, you may want to consider postponing your wedding to a later date when travel is more feasible. Discuss new potential dates with your venue, vendors, and suppliers, and be mindful of the financial implications of postponement.
• Reduce Guest List: If travel restrictions are impacting a large number of your guests, you may need to consider reducing your guest list to ensure the wedding adheres to restricted rules on gathering sizes. While it can be difficult to make these adjustments, it may be necessary to ensure compliance with local regulations.
• Flexibility is Key: Remember that the situation with COVID-19 is ever-evolving, and travel restrictions can change rapidly. Stay flexible and be prepared to adapt your plans if needed. Communicate any changes to your guests clearly and promptly.

Frequently asked questions