Addressing Wedding Invites To Military: Envelope Etiquette

When addressing wedding invitations to military personnel, it's important to follow certain etiquette guidelines to ensure your guests feel respected. Here are some tips to help you address envelopes to military guests properly:

- For a married couple where both spouses are in the military, modern formal invitations use separate lines for each individual. Include their first and last names, ranks, and service branches. Begin the second line with and to indicate their married status.

- If only one spouse is in the military, traditional invitations address the couple using the husband's title and last name, followed by and and the wife's first and last name.

- When addressing unmarried individuals in the military, use their rank, full name, and service branch (e.g., Lieutenant Jamie Garcia, U.S. Air Force).

- Retired military officers can be addressed by their rank, full name, and Ret. or Retired after their branch of service (e.g., Colonel Jack Doe, USAF Retired).

- Abbreviate titles when addressing envelopes, but spell out ranks and branch names in full.

- When in doubt, it's better to ask your military guests about their preferred form of address to ensure you get it right.

Addressing a retired military couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a retired military couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and ranks for the couple. If both members of the couple have a rank, their titles should appear before their names, followed by the branch of service on the line below. For example:

"Colonel John Smith and Colonel Jane Smith, United States Air Force, Retired".

Alternatively, you can list the couple individually, with their respective ranks and branches of service:

"Colonel John Smith, USAF (Ret.) and Colonel Jane Smith, USAF (Ret.)".

It is worth noting that some sources suggest that the branch of service and retired status are not necessary for social invitations and can be omitted:

"Colonel John Smith and Colonel Jane Smith".

When addressing the outer envelope, full names should be used without abbreviated titles. For example:

"Colonel and Mrs. John Smith".

The inner envelope can be more informal, with abbreviated titles:

"Colonel and Mrs. Smith".

If the couple has the same rank and service, they can be addressed as:

"Captains John and Jane Smith".

In the case of different services and different ranks, the invitation can be worded as:

"Captain Thomas Marquette and Major Maria Green" or "Captain Thomas and Major Maria Marquette".

It is important to maintain a consistent tone throughout the invitation, whether it be formal or informal, and to ensure that titles and ranks are used correctly and respectfully.

Addressing a married couple with different ranks

When addressing a married couple with different ranks, the outer envelope should include both guests' full names, with their titles included. If the couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's first and last name, followed by the wife's first name:

> Major and Mrs. Anthony Douglas Davis

If the couple has different last names, you can list either name first, based on your preference, or alphabetically. Traditionally, "Mrs." is used to indicate a married woman's marital status:

> Captain James Rice Taylor and Mrs. Leslie Knope

>

> Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt

If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last. Either "Ms." or "Mrs." can be used:

> Captain Benjamin Pierce and Major Margaret Houlihan-Smith

For the inner envelope, you can be less formal. You have two options: include titles and last names, or use first names only (but only if you are very close with the couple). Here are some examples:

> Captain and Mrs. Taylor

>

> James and Leslie

Addressing a married couple with the same rank

When addressing a married couple with the same rank in the military, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the outer envelope should include the full names and ranks of both individuals, without abbreviating their titles. Here is an example:

> Captains Thomas and Maria Marquette

Alternatively, if the couple has different last names or if the wife has retained her maiden name, you can use this format:

> Captain Thomas Marquette and Major Maria Green

For the inner envelope, you can use abbreviations and shorten their names:

> The Caps. Marquette

Or:

> Capt. and Maj. Marquette

It is important to note that the member of the armed services is typically listed first, followed by their spouse. However, if the wife has a higher rank or earlier date of rank, her name would take precedence.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, if the couple lives together, their names should be included on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you are equally close to both, go in alphabetical order by last name. Here is an example:

Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

If the couple does not live together, send a separate invitation to each guest. For the outer envelope, follow the format above. For the inner envelope, use courtesy titles and last names, or only first names if you are very close with the couple:

Ms. Green and Mr. Geller, or Rachel and Ross

It is important to note that the inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or more elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope.

Additionally, if the couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference, who you are closest to, or alphabetically. The same guidelines apply for same-sex unmarried couples.

Addressing a divorced woman

When addressing a divorced woman on a wedding invitation, it's important to be mindful of her preferences and use the correct title and name. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• Avoid using her former husband's name. It is not appropriate to include her ex-husband's name on the invitation.
• Ask about her preferred last name. Many divorced women keep their married names, while others revert to their maiden names. It is respectful to inquire about her preferred last name with someone close to her.
• Use "Ms." as a default title. If you are unsure about her preferred title, "Ms." is generally a safe and respectful choice. It is suitable for women who are over the age of 18.
• Address her with her first and last name. On the outer envelope, write her first and last name, such as "Ms. Natalia Garcia." On the inner envelope, you can use just her last name, such as "Ms. Garcia."
• Include "and Guest" if needed. If you are unsure whether she will be bringing a guest, it is appropriate to include "and Guest" on the inner envelope only.
• Be mindful of her preferences. Ultimately, the most important consideration is to respect her wishes. If you are aware of any specific requests she has regarding how she would like to be addressed, ensure that you follow those preferences.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Natalia Correa Garcia"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Garcia and Guest" or Natalia and Guest

If she has resumed using her maiden name:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Natalia Correa"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Correa and Guest" or Natalia and Guest

Frequently asked questions