Rsvp Etiquette: Responding To Formal Wedding Invites

When you receive a formal wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly and accurately. The first step is to check your calendar and finalise your plans, including confirming with any additional guests you may have been invited to bring. Then, send your response as soon as possible, ideally by the method specified by the couple – this could be via email, a wedding website, response card, or another preferred method. If no preference is stated, a handwritten response sent by post is a thoughtful touch. In your response, clearly state whether you accept or decline the invitation, providing the names of any additional guests. It's also good etiquette to include a short personal note to the couple, such as well wishes for their special day. Remembering to respond to a wedding invitation in a timely manner is an important part of being a great wedding guest and will help the couple immensely with their planning.

Include your full name

When responding to a formal wedding invitation, it is important to include your full name. This is because weddings are often formal events, and it is customary to address people by their full names on place cards and escort cards.

If you are responding on behalf of yourself and a partner, it is traditional to list the person's title and full name first, followed by your own full name. For example, for a heterosexual couple, you would write:

> Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Andersen

If you are a same-sex couple, the formatting is the same:

> Mr. and Mr. Jameson Fillmore

For unmarried heterosexual couples, the woman would use "Ms." or "Miss" as her title. For example:

> Ms. Marissa Porte and Mr. Henry Satre

If you are responding on behalf of a family, you may write the first names of your children if there is room. You can also indicate that you are bringing children in the space that asks for the number of attendees. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

> Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany and Kelly

It is important to note that children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitations.

Specify number of guests

When it comes to responding to a formal wedding invitation, it's important to pay attention to the number of guests specified in the invite. Here are some guidelines to help you specify the number of guests when replying:

Understanding the Invitation

Before responding, carefully read the wedding invitation to determine who is invited. The outer and inner envelopes of the invitation may provide clues. If you are part of a family, check if your children are included in the invitation. If the outer envelope is addressed to "Mr and Mrs John Smith", while the inner envelope mentions "Mr and Mrs John Smith and Guest", it indicates that you, your partner, and an additional guest are invited.

Specifying the Number of Guests

When responding, be clear about the number of people attending from your party. If you have been offered a plus-one, now is the time to decide and inform the couple. Indicate the number of people attending, usually one or two, and provide the full name of your guest. This information is crucial for the couple to create seating charts and place cards.

Addressing the Envelope

If you are bringing a guest, the envelope can be addressed as Mr and Mrs Joseph Andersen or Mr and Mr Jameson Fillmore for a same-sex couple. If you are unmarried, the woman can use Ms or Miss as her title. For example, Miss Marissa Porte and Mr Henry Satre.

RSVPing with Children

If you plan to bring children, mention their first names if there is room on the response card. Alternatively, indicate the total number of attendees, including children, in the designated space. Some couples may prefer an adults-only wedding, so be mindful of any indications on the invitation suite before assuming children are invited.

Responding Promptly

It is essential to respond to the wedding invitation promptly. Check your schedule and make your decision as soon as possible. If you are unable to attend, let the couple know so they can invite someone else if they wish. Remember, your timely response helps the couple with their wedding planning, catering, and guest count management.

Indicate dietary restrictions

When it comes to dietary restrictions, communication is key. It is important to explicitly mention dietary restrictions on the invitation to show your guests that you care about their needs and are willing to accommodate them. This can be done by including a line such as "Please let us know if you have any dietary requirements" on the RSVP card or alongside the RSVP information. This simple and effective wording is both polite and to the point.

Once you have received the RSVPs, it is a good idea to follow up with guests who have indicated dietary restrictions to confirm the specific details. This will help you work with your caterer or venue to provide suitable alternatives that cater to their needs, whether they be allergies, intolerances, or personal preferences. It is also important to give your wedding venue or caterer ample notice of any dietary requirements to ensure that they can provide the required meals.

If you are having a buffet, it may be easier to provide a variety of options that cater to different dietary restrictions. Be sure to label all of the dishes clearly so that guests can easily find food that works for them. If you are providing a seated meal, make sure that gluten-free, nut-free, vegan, etc. options are clearly marked on the menu. Keep dishes well separated to avoid cross-contamination, especially if you have guests with food allergies or celiac disease.

Remember that every guest's dietary needs are unique, so it is important to be accommodating and understanding. By taking the time to ask about dietary restrictions and providing a variety of options, you can create a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere for all attendees.

Respond promptly

When responding to a formal wedding invitation, it is important to respond promptly. This is because the couple will be in the midst of the wedding planning process, trying to nail down their number of attendees, confirming an accurate headcount to share with caterers, and ensuring their guest count aligns with their original plans.

As soon as you receive a formal wedding invitation, check your calendar and finalise your plans. Then, respond as soon as possible. This will allow the couple to start finalising their plans with plenty of time to spare. It will also give them the opportunity to invite someone else if you are unable to attend.

If the invitation includes an RSVP card, fill it out and send it back as soon as possible. If there is no RSVP card, you can respond in writing or by email. If you are responding in writing, you can either follow the wording of a formal invitation or write a personal note, depending on your relationship with the couple. For example, if you are responding to a black-tie wedding invitation, your response could be:

> " [Your names] accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] the kind invitation of [the hosts] to the wedding reception of their [daughter/son and their partner] on [date]."

If you are responding informally, you could write something like:

> "Mark and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on [date]. We look forward to sharing in your special day."

If you are unable to attend, it is still important to respond promptly and let the couple know. You could write something like:

> "We are so sorry we will be unable to attend your wedding. Unfortunately, we will be away on holiday. You will both be in our thoughts during your special day."

Add well wishes

When it comes to formal wedding wishes, it's best to opt for something timeless, traditional and romantic. Here are some ideas for formal well wishes to include in your response to a wedding invitation:

• "Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness."
• "May the years ahead be filled with lasting joy."
• "Best wishes on this wonderful journey, as you build your new lives together."
• "Thank you for letting me share in this joyful day. I wish you all the best as you embark on this wonderful union."
• "Wishing you joy, love and happiness on your wedding day as you begin your new life together."
• "May the love and happiness you feel today shine through the years."
• "Your greatest journey is only just beginning and I wish you a lifetime of adventures together."
• "I wish for you a life filled with happiness; I wish for you the strength to overcome any obstacles together; I wish for you a love that grows ever stronger each day."
• "May your marriage be filled with all the right ingredients: a heap of love, a dash of humour, a touch of romance, and a spoonful of understanding. May your joy last forever."
• "May your love grow stronger each and every passing year."
• "May today mark the first of the rest of your life, filled with love and fellowship."
• "Here's to a long, happy life with the one you love. Wishing you the best."
• "May the true love you share today grow stronger as you grow old together."
• "Congratulations on a beautiful beginning to married life."
• "May your joining together bring you more joy than you can imagine."
• "May your marriage be blessed!"
• "Wishing you a blessed marriage."
• "May God bless your union and deepen your love through the years."
• "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

You can also include a religious element to your well wishes if that is appropriate and meaningful to you and the couple.

Frequently asked questions