Best Man: A Wedding Essential Or Unnecessary Tradition?

The role of the best man is to act as the groom's right-hand man, providing support and assistance throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. While it is common to have a best man, it is not mandatory, and couples are free to adapt traditions to suit their needs and preferences. Deciding whether or not to have a best man is a personal choice, and there are several factors to consider when making this decision. Some grooms may prefer to have a group of groomsmen without a designated leader, while others may opt for a best woman or best person instead. Ultimately, the decision comes down to what feels most authentic to the couple.

What are the best man's duties?

Although it is not necessary to have a best man at your wedding, it is a role that comes with a lot of duties and responsibilities. Here is a detailed list of what the best man's duties include:

Before the Wedding

• Offer Emotional Support: Be there for the groom as a confidante and provide reassurance and a listening ear.
• Help Choose Suits: Assist the groom and groomsmen with their wedding attire and coordinate the process.
• Organise the Bachelor Party: Plan and arrange the bachelor party, consulting with the groom on his preferences.
• Attend Pre-Wedding Events: Be present at the engagement party, shower, and rehearsal dinner.
• Buy a Wedding Gift: Purchase a gift for the groom, which could be a group gift from the groomsmen.

During the Wedding

• Be the Groom's Right Hand: Support the groom with anything he needs, from helping him get ready to delivering a letter to the bride.
• Keep the Groom and Groomsmen on Schedule: Ensure everyone is where they need to be on time, especially for the rehearsal.
• Hold the Wedding Rings: Safely keep the wedding rings until it is time to exchange vows.
• Sign the Marriage License: Act as a witness and sign the marriage license.
• Welcome Guests: Greet the wedding guests and make them feel welcomed.
• Give a Speech: Traditionally, the best man gives a speech during the reception, but this could also be at the rehearsal dinner.
• Take Charge of Transportation: Drive the couple to the reception or wedding-night hotel, or hire transportation services.
• Act as Reception Host: Ensure the newlyweds and guests are enjoying themselves and that the wedding party knows where to be.
• Help Collect Gifts: Be the point of contact for guests who want to hand off gifts or cards to a person.

After the Wedding

• Tie Up Loose Ends: Help with post-wedding tasks such as tipping and paying vendors, transporting gifts, and returning rented attire.
• Decorate the Getaway Car: Coordinate and decorate the couple's getaway vehicle for their reception exit.

The best man plays a crucial role in supporting the groom and ensuring the wedding runs smoothly. It is an honour and a responsibility-filled role, requiring organisation and dedication.

Who can be the best man?

While there are no set rules on who can be the best man, this role is often given to a groom's brother, close relative, or best friend. The role has also been known to be fulfilled by the groom's father, son, or sister.

If you are struggling to choose one person to be your best man, you could consider having multiple people hold the title or even scrapping the role altogether. You could also consider appointing a "best woman" or "best person" instead.

Remember, it's your wedding, so you can set your own rules and create a wedding party that feels authentic to you.

Is a best man necessary?

While it is common to have a best man at a wedding, it is not necessary. Wedding traditions are not mandatory and can be adapted to suit your needs. If you don't want to have a best man, you can opt for a wedding party without a lead attendant or choose a different role for them altogether.

The best man is typically the groom's closest friend or family member, who provides support and assistance throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. They are usually responsible for planning the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for the groom's side, coordinating gifts, providing emotional support, and ensuring the groom and groomsmen are on schedule. On the wedding day, they hold the rings, welcome guests, act as a witness, give a speech, and keep the reception moving.

If you decide not to have a best man, you can still have groomsmen or ushers to support you. Alternatively, you can ask a parent, sibling, or another family member to take on some of the best man duties. You can also hire a wedding planner to assist with various tasks.

Ultimately, the decision to have a best man is a personal one, and you can choose to include or exclude this role from your wedding as you see fit.

What are some alternatives to having a best man?

It is not mandatory to have a best man at your wedding. Wedding traditions can be adapted to suit your needs and preferences. Here are some alternatives to having a best man:

Groomsmen

If you're open to having a wedding party but don't want to choose a lead attendant, you can have a group of groomsmen. Ensure they can share the responsibilities without a best man leading them.

Best Pup

If you're a dog lover, you can have your dog by your side as you walk down the aisle. There are wedding day pet-sitting companies that will take care of your pet during the ceremony.

Sibling or Family Member

You can choose a sibling or any other family member, such as a parent, uncle, grandparent, or cousin, to help you on your wedding day. They can take on the duties typically assigned to the best man.

Wedding Planner

A wedding planner can assist with various tasks on your wedding day, such as the exchange of gifts, holding the rings, and ensuring you have your favourite drink.

Delegate Specific Tasks

Instead of having a best man, you can delegate specific tasks to different people. For example, you can ask a parent, mentor, or friend to give a speech, or assign someone to plan the bachelor party.

Remember, it's your wedding, so you can set your own rules and create a wedding party that feels authentic to you.

What are the consequences of not having a best man?

It is not mandatory to have a best man at your wedding, and there are no consequences as such. However, there are some considerations to be made if you choose to forgo this tradition. Here are some points to keep in mind:

Planning and Support

A best man traditionally provides support and assistance to the groom throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. This includes helping the groom choose his attire, planning the bachelor party, and providing emotional support. Without a best man, these tasks would fall to the groom or be delegated to other members of the wedding party or family.

Logistics and Coordination

The best man also plays a crucial role in coordinating logistics and ensuring the wedding day runs smoothly. This includes keeping the groom and groomsmen on schedule, holding the wedding rings, welcoming guests, and acting as a witness during the signing of the marriage license. These responsibilities could be shared among groomsmen or family members if there is no best man.

Speeches and Traditions

Traditionally, the best man gives a speech during the wedding reception, adding a personal touch to the festivities. Without a best man, someone else, such as a parent, mentor, or friend, could give a speech instead. Alternatively, the couple may choose to forgo the best man speech altogether and use that time for other activities.

Aesthetics and Symmetry

In a traditional wedding procession, the best man is the last person to walk down the aisle after the rest of the bridal party. Not having a best man could make the wedding procession uneven, especially if the bride has a maid of honor or the bridal party is large. The couple may decide that symmetry is important to them, or they may choose to scrap the wedding party altogether for a more intimate ceremony.

Alternatives

If the groom still wishes to have a wedding party but does not want to choose a best man, there are alternatives. The groom could have just groomsmen, with the responsibilities typically assigned to the best man shared among them. The groom could also choose a "best woman" or a family member, such as a father, sibling, or grandparent, to take on the role of best man. Ultimately, the decision to have a best man or not is a personal one, and the couple should do what feels authentic to them.

Frequently asked questions