The Best Man's Unexpected Journey And Honor

Being asked to be someone's best man is a huge honour and a big responsibility. It's a role that comes with a lot of expectations and duties, from planning the bachelor party to providing support to the couple throughout the entire wedding process. Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal, and there are many ways to do it, from a simple question to a grand gesture. Ultimately, the most important thing is to choose someone who is important to you and who you want by your side throughout the entire process.

How to ask someone to be your best man

Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal, and it can be a nerve-racking conversation to have. However, it's important to remember that your friend will likely be honoured to be asked and happy to support you on your big day. Here are some tips on how to ask someone to be your best man:

• Consider whom you're asking: Being a best man is a big job and a significant time commitment. Before you ask someone, think about their availability and whether they're the right person for the role. If they have other commitments, like a new baby, they might not have the time or energy to devote to all the best man duties. In this case, you can still ask them but be prepared to adjust your expectations.
• Plan around your favourite activity: Asking someone to be your best man during a shared activity or hobby can make the moment more personal and special. For example, if you and your friend golf together, you could ask them while enjoying a round of golf. Or, if you're both fans of the same football team, invite them over to watch a game and pop the question during halftime.
• Send a card: If you're not great with emotional conversations or prefer a more low-key approach, sending a card is a perfect way to ask. You can use the card to express how meaningful the person is to you, highlight your favourite memories together, or simply ask the question in a straightforward manner. Cards also make a wonderful keepsake for your best man-to-be.
• Give a gift: There are many "proposal" gifts available that can help you pop the question. From personalised items to whiskey glasses, you can find something that suits your friend's interests and your relationship. For example, if you both love coffee, a personalised coffee mug could be a great choice.
• Just ask: Remember, you don't need a grand plan or gesture. Your friend will be happy to be asked and excited to stand by your side on your wedding day. A simple, heartfelt conversation might be all you need.

Best man's duties

Being the best man is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Here is a detailed list of duties that every best man should aim to fulfil:

Before the Wedding:

• Organise the stag do: Start planning early to reduce stress and create a memorable experience. Ask the groom for a guest list, choose a date, and consider everyone's budget.
• Support the groom: Check in with the groom regularly to see how they are coping with the wedding planning process. Offer emotional support and help with any tasks they may be struggling with.
• Assist with suit selection: Offer to help the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire. This includes gathering measurements, deciding whether to buy or rent, and coordinating any necessary alterations.
• Write your speech: Start working on your best man's speech well in advance. Ensure it is tasteful, practices it, and runs it by a trusted person to get a second opinion.
• Liaise with the maid of honour: Communicate with the maid of honour to coordinate any useful items for the wedding day, such as umbrellas or gifts for the couple.
• Help with wedding planning: Offer to assist the couple with logistical tasks like booking vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules.
• Organise a groomsmen's gift: Present the groom with a sentimental gift from his groomsmen on the wedding morning.
• Final fittings: Keep an eye on suit fittings and alterations as the wedding day approaches.
• Check in with the groom: Take time to connect with the groom and address any nerves or anxiety they may be feeling.
• Help with pre-wedding setup: Pick up and deliver any hired items, such as suits, and assist with setting up the venue.

On the Wedding Day:

• Help the groom get ready: Be hands-on and assist the groom with any last-minute tasks on the morning of the wedding.
• Organise the ushers: Take delivery of buttonholes and distribute them to the groomsmen and ushers. Keep an eye on the time to ensure everyone is ready on schedule.
• Keep the rings safe: The best man is often entrusted with keeping the wedding rings secure before and during the ceremony. If there is a ring bearer, ensure the rings are fastened to the pillow before the processional.
• Greet the guests: Arrive at the venue early with the groom and welcome the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.
• Stand at the altar with the groom: Take your place on the front right-hand side of the ceremony room. If you are the ring bearer, have the rings ready for the couple to exchange.
• Escort the maid of honour: After the ceremony, escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newlyweds.
• Stand in the receiving line: If the couple chooses to have a receiving line, greet the guests as a key part of the wedding party.
• Help organise wedding photographs: Work with the ushers to round up guests for group photos and ensure you are present for the ones you are required to be in.
• Be the master of ceremonies: If the couple hasn't hired a toastmaster, you may be asked to announce key moments, such as the couple's arrival, speeches, or cake cutting.
• Deliver your speech: Ensure your delivery is confident and clear, and mention everyone who needs to be mentioned.
• Get the party started: After the first dance, dance with the maid of honour (if there is one) and encourage everyone onto the dance floor.

After the Wedding:

• Return and clean suits: Help round up and return any hired items, such as suits, and take care of dry-cleaning if necessary.
• Take care of wedding gifts: If the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately, safely store the wedding gifts, cards, and keepsakes until they return.

Remember, the best man is the groom's right-hand man and a source of support throughout the entire process. Stay organised, be a positive presence, and don't be afraid to delegate tasks if needed!

How to decline being someone's best man

Being asked to be someone's best man is a huge honour, but it's also a big responsibility. If you've been asked to be a best man and are unable to take on the role, it's important to decline the offer in a thoughtful and considerate way. Here are some tips on how to do this:

Be honest and communicate your concerns: Talk to the groom and express your concerns about not being able to fulfil the duties of the best man. It's possible that the groom may not expect as much from you as you think. Find out what his expectations are and how much time and effort he wants you to contribute.

Offer an alternative: If you feel that you can't commit to being the best man, suggest taking on a different role in the wedding party, such as being a groomsman. This way, you can still be involved in the wedding without taking on as many responsibilities.

Explain your reasons: If you still feel that you can't take on any role in the wedding party, explain your reasons honestly and respectfully. Let the groom know that you don't want to let him down and that you'll be there to support him as a guest. It's important to be sensitive and assure him that you value your friendship.

Do it as soon as possible: As soon as you realise you can't take on the role, let the groom know. This will give him more time to find someone else to be the best man.

Remember, it's perfectly valid to decline an offer to be someone's best man if you feel you can't commit to the responsibilities. Honesty and open communication are key to handling this situation gracefully and maintaining your friendship.

Best man's speech

So, my best friend asked me to be his best man. I was thrilled! We got hammered and I woke up in the bathroom using a bath mat as a blanket. But I digress. Today is the day of the wedding, and I'm giving my speech. I'm just going to speak from the heart. Wish me luck!

"Hello everyone, what a beautiful day for a wedding! I want to start by congratulating [groom] and [bride] on their marriage. It's an honour to stand here today as [groom]'s best man. I've known [groom] for [amount of time] and I can honestly say he is one of the most important people in my life. I was so happy when he asked me to be his best man, and I've loved helping him plan this special day.

I want to share a quick story about [groom]. [Insert funny anecdote here]. I think this story really sums up [groom]'s personality and why we all love him so much. He is a great friend, and I know he will be an amazing husband.

I also want to welcome [bride] to the family. [Bride], you look absolutely stunning today. It's clear to see how happy you make [groom], and I know that the two of you will have a long and wonderful life together. Congratulations again, and cheers to the happy couple!"

Best man's gift

When it comes to choosing a gift for your best man, it's important to get something thoughtful and personal. While tumblers, hip flasks, and other engraved items are popular choices, they may be overdone and not suitable for everyone. Here are some unique and creative gift ideas for your best man:

• Personalised items: A monogrammed wallet, a customised watch, or a set of cufflinks with the initials of the best man are all thoughtful gifts. You could also opt for a personalised duffel bag, toiletry bag, or a cool backpack.
• Experiences: Create lasting memories by gifting an experience you can enjoy together. For example, a pre-wedding bike trip, a day at an upscale barber shop, or even getting matching tattoos.
• Food and drinks: Treat your best man to a gourmet basket, a selection of fine whisky or beer, or a meal at their favourite restaurant. You could also opt for something fun, like cookies with their name written in icing.
• Practical gifts: For something more practical, consider a Leatherman utility knife, a set of high-quality shaving products, or a stylish yet functional weekender bag.
• Hobbies and interests: Think about your best man's hobbies and interests. For example, if they're into cycling, gift them a book about epic bike rides or a personalised portable camping fire pit. If they enjoy golf, a golf flask with shot cups or a golf cooler could be a hole-in-one.
• Something personalised yet subtle: If you want to give something more low-key, consider a gilded monogram glass or a set of bespoke wedding socks.

Remember, the best gift will be something that suits your best man's personality and interests. By choosing something thoughtful and personalised, you'll show your appreciation and create a lasting memory of your special day.

Frequently asked questions