Crafting The Best Man Speech: Secrets To Success

Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is a tremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities. The best man's speech is an important part of the wedding reception and is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. A great best man speech requires careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery. Here are some tips on how to make your best man speech a standout moment at the wedding.

Keep it concise

Keeping your speech concise is a key part of giving a good best man's speech. While it's an important honour to be chosen as best man, and you'll want to celebrate your friend and entertain the guests, it's also important to keep the attention of your audience.

The ideal length for a best man's speech is between 3 and 10 minutes. Any longer and people may start to lose interest, and you risk losing the meaning of your speech. A shorter speech will also be easier to remember, and you're less likely to go off-piste.

If there are multiple speakers, your speech should be even shorter—around 6-8 minutes. If there are three speakers, aim for 7-8 minutes, and for four speakers, keep it to 6 minutes.

It's also important to keep in mind that you'll likely be the last speaker, so the guests will have already sat through several speeches. Keep it concise, funny, and memorable.

Be yourself

Being yourself is one of the most important aspects of delivering a best man speech. Authenticity will resonate more genuinely with the newlyweds and their guests, making your speech more impactful and memorable.

Staying true to yourself means sticking with your personality and how you would normally act around your friends. For example, if you are not normally the comedian in the group, don't try to tell a bunch of jokes. If you're not usually a super-sentimental person, don't force it. There's nothing wrong with keeping your speech more lighthearted. The couple already knows (and loves) your personality, so the more genuine you are, the better your speech will be received.

If you are married, you and your partner could come up with some golden rules for happiness to share. If you are not, you could ask friends for their tips, or approach parents or grandparents for sage words of wisdom.

It is also important to remember that the wedding day and the speeches are for the couple, but they are also for all the guests. Make sure to connect with them. This means maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, using hand gestures, and expressing your emotions genuinely. Even the best speech will lose its power if you're looking at the ground and mumbling.

Include a memorable opening and closing

The opening and closing lines of your best man speech will leave a lasting impression on your audience, so it's important to make them memorable. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft a memorable opening and closing for your best man speech:

Memorable Opening:

• Grab their attention: Start with a compelling opening line that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone for your speech. It can be a funny joke, a compliment, or an inspirational quote about brotherhood or marriage. For example: "I'd like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man [chuckle]."
• Break the ice: Begin with a light-hearted icebreaker or a well-chosen joke to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. You can make a joke about the groom, his speech, or even your own unpreparedness. Just make sure to avoid overdone best man jokes that might fall flat.
• Introduce yourself: Share your name and how you met the groom to establish your connection with the audience, especially those who may not know you well. You can also add a humorous tale about your first encounter or your experience as the best man. For example: "Welcome everyone, my name is 'X', and I've known 'X' since we were kids. 'X' hates it when I take all the attention away from them, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."
• Express gratitude: Thank the couple and their parents for hosting the wedding and show your appreciation to the groom for choosing you as his best man. For example: "I am so grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Zimmerman for hosting us here today, and thank you to the bride and groom for inviting me to be part of their special day."

Memorable Closing:

• Summarise your thoughts: Before wrapping up your speech, summarise your key ideas and well-wishes for the couple. For example: "I wish I could say I predicted this day would come, but Jeff's incredible character and charm won Anne over. I am so grateful to be friends with both of them and to join you all in this celebration."
• End with a toast: Conclude your speech by raising your glass and inviting the audience to join you in a heartfelt toast to the couple's future. Make it inclusive and communal so that the audience feels like they are cheering for the couple along with you. For example: "Please join me in raising our glasses to a lifetime of happiness and espressos for Jeff and Anne Allison! Cheers!"
• Tie back to the theme: End your speech with a closing line that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple. It can be a quote, a callback to an earlier part of your speech, or a simple wish for their future together. For example: "Here's to the past, for all you've learned. Here's to the present for this beautiful moment we all share. Here's to the future for all you've got to look forward to. Cheers to the happy couple!"

Share stories about the groom

Sharing stories about the groom is an essential part of the best man's speech. It is a chance to celebrate the groom, showcase your relationship, and give the guests a glimpse into his character and personality. Here are some tips to help you craft this section of your speech:

Choose the Right Stories

Select anecdotes that highlight the groom's character, his positive traits, and your unique bond. These stories should provide insights into who he is as a person and can include childhood memories, adult adventures, or how he has impacted your life. For example:

> "Remember the fishing trip where [Groom’s Name] managed to catch his own jacket and fall overboard? That day, he showed us all how to laugh at ourselves and make the best of any situation—qualities that make him the incredible person he is today."

Make it Meaningful

While humour is an important part of the best man's speech, don't centre it solely on jokes. Share how you truly feel about the groom and your well-wishes for his future. This is what will make your speech memorable and meaningful. As David Litt, former speechwriter for President Barack Obama, advises:

> "Generally speaking, men think of the best man speech as a funny speech to give because we’re very uncomfortable sharing how we actually feel. But, what makes a good best man speech is the part where somebody shares how they feel. Humor is just the icing on the cake."

Keep it Appropriate

Ensure your stories are appropriate and won't cause embarrassment or discomfort to the groom, his partner, or the guests. Avoid inside jokes that most guests won't understand, and steer clear of topics that are too private or cast the groom in a negative light. As Litt cautions:

> "My general rule for wedding speeches is: If you have to ask yourself, 'Is this appropriate?' it’s not. And if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t know, ask a friend. If they give you that slightly horrified look, listen to that look."

Involve the Audience

Don't be afraid to engage the audience in your storytelling. You can ask them a question or pose a scenario to make them feel included and part of the celebration. LaQuita Cleare, a public speaking expert, suggests:

> "Don’t be afraid to involve your audience! You can pose a question to them during your speech."

Practice, Practice, Practice

Rehearse your speech multiple times to refine your delivery and build your confidence. Practising in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help you identify areas for improvement and ensure your stories are well-crafted and engaging. Remember, the more you practice, the more comfortable and confident you'll become.

Rehearse

Calm your nerves before giving the speech. Take deep breaths and slow down. When you focus on your breathing, you won't focus on other things, and you will relax. Visualise yourself as a great speaker, killing it with your speech. Just seeing yourself that way will help.

Don't wing it! It's rare for someone who hasn't prepared to deliver a good speech. Your best bet is to prepare something early on and practise as much as possible.

If you're nervous about public speaking, you can also practise your body language. Rehearse how you'll stand and present yourself on the big day. Practise open body language instead of putting your hands in your pockets or crossing your arms. Using gestures while you speak will also make you appear more confident and increase the value of your message. And don't forget to make eye contact with the crowd—your eyes tell all!

Frequently asked questions