The Best Man's Guide To Wedding Day Duties

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante. His responsibilities include planning the bachelor party, helping the groom choose and buy/rent his wedding outfit, coordinating the groomsmen's ensembles, and giving a speech at the reception. He also has to keep the wedding rings safe until it's time for the vows and stand beside the groom at the altar.

Planning the bachelor party

• Talk to the groom in advance about the type of party he envisions. Does he want to travel or stay local? Does he want a wild party or something more low-key? It's important to plan a night or weekend that suits the groom's style and budget.
• Enlist the help of the other groomsmen to plan logistics and offer recommendations.
• Start planning at least three to six months in advance, especially if you're organising a more elaborate itinerary. This will give you ample time to understand the attendees' preferences and make any necessary bookings or reservations.
• If you're planning a destination bachelor party, consider renting a house instead of hotel rooms. This will allow you to have groceries and drinks at the house, making meals and parking easier to manage.
• Plan two to three group outings, such as chartering a boat, attending a sporting event, or going bowling. But don't overbook the schedule, as you want to leave plenty of downtime for the group to relax and bond.
• If dining in restaurants, try to book reservations in advance and ensure the restaurant can split the check. You can also stock the rental with easy-to-prepare meals and snacks.
• Share the estimated price for lodging and activities with the group so they can start making their arrangements.

Remember, the bachelor party is about creating lasting memories and celebrating the groom's upcoming marriage. So, while it's important to have fun, it's also crucial to be mindful of the groom's wishes and ensure that nothing happens that could threaten any relationships.

Being the groom's confidant

Emotional Support

The best man should provide emotional support to the groom, especially during the stressful wedding planning process. It is important to listen patiently to the groom's concerns, confessions, and questions without judgment. Reassure the groom and keep him focused and positive in the lead-up to the wedding.

Planning and Organisation

The best man can take on some of the planning and organisational tasks to lighten the groom's workload. This may include helping with suit selections, coordinating the groomsmen's attire, and handling logistical details such as booking vendors or managing RSVPs. The best man can also assist with setting up the wedding venue and ensuring the groom's needs are met.

Keeping the Groom Calm

On the wedding day, the best man should help keep the groom calm and ensure he arrives at the venue on time. The best man can also hold onto the wedding rings, the groom's phone, wallet, and other personal items to reduce the groom's stress.

Post-Wedding Support

Even after the wedding, the best man's duties may continue. This can include returning hired items, such as suits, and decorating the newlyweds' car. The best man may also be asked to safely store the wedding gifts if the couple leaves for their honeymoon immediately after the wedding.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

Before the Wedding

It is not necessary to hand over the wedding rings to the best man months or weeks before the wedding. The longer they are out of your possession, the greater the chance they could be lost. It is recommended to give the rings to the best man the night before the wedding, in their original box or a box you want to be seen during the ceremony.

During the Wedding

On the day of the wedding, the best man traditionally holds on to the wedding rings until it is time to exchange vows. It is crucial to find a safe place for the rings, such as a secure pocket or a ring box. If there is a ring bearer, the best man will fasten the rings to the pillow as they line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings back to the best man for safekeeping until they are requested by the officiant.

After the Wedding

The best man's responsibilities don't end with the wedding ceremony. If the couple is leaving for their honeymoon immediately, the best man may be asked to take care of the groom's belongings, including the wedding ring, and ensure they are safely transported to the couple's home.

General Tips for Ring Safety:

• Always store the rings in the same place, such as a ring box or a soft cloth pouch, to avoid misplacing them.
• Avoid wearing the rings in open water, as they can easily slip off.
• Regular cleaning and maintenance of the rings will help keep them in good condition. However, different materials require different cleaning methods, so be sure to check before cleaning.
• Consider insuring the wedding rings to protect your investment in case of loss or damage.
• If you want to wear the ring during physical activities or sports, a silicone wedding band is a durable and safe alternative.

Remember, as the best man, keeping the wedding rings safe is a critical task, so stay organized, communicate with the couple, and be vigilant in safeguarding the rings!

Supporting the groom

Being the best man is a huge honour and a significant responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, tasked with supporting the groom and ensuring he is well taken care of before, during, and after the wedding. Here are some ways the best man can support the groom:

Pre-Wedding

The best man is the groom's go-to person and confidante throughout the wedding planning process. Here are some ways the best man can support the groom in the lead-up to the wedding:

• Assist with outfit details: Help the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire. This includes rounding up the groomsmen to go suit shopping and helping with final selections. The best man may also put together emergency kits for the groomsmen, including extra cufflinks, shoe polish, or an extra tie.
• Organise the bachelor party: Plan an epic celebration that aligns with the groom's wishes. Consult with the groom and recruit the groomsmen to help.
• Coordinate the groom's gift: If the groomsmen decide to get a gift for the groom, the best man often leads this effort by collecting money and choosing the gift.
• Provide emotional support: Be there for the groom throughout the planning process. Listen to his concerns, offer reassurance, and keep him focused and positive.
• Attend the rehearsal: Be present at the wedding rehearsal and help wrangle the wedding party to ensure everything runs smoothly. The best man may also make a small toast during the rehearsal dinner.
• Stay organised and prepared: Create a shared document or spreadsheet with the groom and groomsmen to track tasks and deadlines. Stay on top of your responsibilities and be the groom's reliable source of support.
• Check-in with the groom: Take time to connect with the groom, especially in the days leading up to the wedding. Be his sounding board for any nerves or wedding-related anxiety.
• Help with pre-wedding set-up: Offer to help with setting up the venue, picking up hired items, and delivering them to the wedding location.
• Stay over with the groom: Spend the night before the wedding with the groom. Prepare drinks and snacks, but ensure he doesn't overindulge. Use this time to go over your speech and check in with him again.

During the Wedding

On the wedding day, the best man's role is to ensure the groom is calm, prepared, and fully supported. Here are some ways the best man can assist the groom on the big day:

• Help the groom get ready: Be hands-on and assist the groom with any last-minute tasks. Ensure his outfit is perfect, from his suit to his tie or cravat.
• Organise the ushers: On the wedding morning, take delivery of any buttonholes and distribute them to the groomsmen and ushers. Keep an eye on the clock to ensure everyone is ready on time.
• Keep the rings safe: The best man is often entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe until the ceremony. Even if there is a ring bearer, the best man ensures the rings are securely fastened to the pillow.
• Greet the guests with the groom: Arrive at the venue early and stand by the groom's side to welcome and greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.
• Stand at the altar with the groom: Take your place by the groom's side during the ceremony. If you are the ring bearer, have the rings ready for when the couple exchanges their vows.
• Escort the maid of honour: After the ceremony, escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newlyweds' exit.
• Support the groom: Be a source of calm and positive energy for the groom throughout the day. Ensure he stays hydrated, has something to eat, and is not overwhelmed.
• Deliver your speech: Give a well-crafted and rehearsed speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story. Include positive stories about the groom and say something nice about the bride.
• Get the party started: After the first dance, be the first one on the dance floor and encourage everyone to join. Mingle at the reception and ensure the guests are having a great time.

Post-Wedding

Even after the wedding celebrations end, the best man has a few remaining responsibilities to support the newlyweds:

• Return and clean suits: Help round up and return any hired items, such as suits, and take care of dry cleaning if needed.
• Take care of wedding gifts: If the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately, safely store the wedding gifts, cards, and keepsakes. Ensure they are delivered to the couple upon their return.
• Decorate the newlyweds' car: Coordinate the decoration of the couple's getaway car, either on the wedding day or the day after, depending on their plans.

Acting as master of ceremonies

• Check with the couple ahead of time to see if they need you to take on this role. Wedding venues often provide a member of staff to do this job, so your services might not be required.
• Be confident and clear when making announcements. Speak slowly and pause for laughter if you are making a joke.
• Make sure you are aware of the timings the couple has decided for the various elements of the reception.
• If you are also giving a speech, you may want to combine your master of ceremonies duties with your speech to avoid having to get the guests' attention multiple times.
• Be prepared to be flexible and adapt to any last-minute changes or surprises during the reception.
• Keep an eye on the guests and ensure everyone is okay and behaving accordingly.

In addition to acting as master of ceremonies, the best man has several other important duties before, during, and after the wedding. These include planning the bachelor party, writing and delivering a speech, helping to choose and purchase suits, keeping the wedding rings safe, greeting guests, signing the marriage license as a witness, and decorating the newlyweds' car.

Frequently asked questions