Arab Weddings: Bridesmaids Or No Bridesmaids?

Arab weddings are lavish, multi-day celebrations steeped in tradition and ritual. While customs vary across the Arab world, from Lebanon to Morocco, weddings are typically preceded by a 'tolbe' or 'tulba' ceremony, where the groom formally asks the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. The wedding ceremony itself, or 'katb Al-kitaab', involves a sheikh outlining the conditions of the marriage, which are then signed off by both parties and two witnesses. But do Arab weddings have bridesmaids? In short, yes. While not all Arab weddings follow the Western tradition of bridesmaids and groomsmen, it is common for the bride to be accompanied by a maid of honour, who walks down the aisle with the best man.

The 'Tulba' or formal asking of the hand

The Tulba, or formal asking of the hand, is a private event that occurs after both families have approved the couple's decision to wed. The groom, along with his family members, formally asks the bride and her family for her hand in marriage. The families then officially acknowledge that the couple will marry.

The Tulba is a significant step in the marriage process, as it involves the couple's families coming together to recognise and approve of the union. This event is typically limited to close relatives of the bride and groom, creating an intimate setting for the formal request.

During the Tulba, the groom's family plays a crucial role in seeking the bride's hand in marriage. They express their son's intention to marry and showcase their support for the union. It is a respectful and traditional way of honouring the bride's family and seeking their blessing.

Following the Tulba, the couple becomes engaged. They hold a small ceremony conducted by a priest to formalise their engagement. This is followed by a celebration with food, music, and dancing, where all their family, relatives, and friends participate.

The Tulba is a beautiful tradition that brings the families together and marks a significant step towards the couple's journey in building a new life together. It showcases the importance of family unity and blessings in Arab weddings.

The 'Radwa' or small gathering of male relatives

The Radwa is a small gathering of the closest male relatives on both the groom and bride's sides. It usually takes place at the bride's family's house, a day or two before the wedding. During the radwa, the men from the groom's side ensure that the women are pleased with the wedding and its preparations. They also resolve any last-minute issues and ensure that the bride's family is satisfied with the party.

The radwa is an opportunity for the male relatives to come together and finalise the wedding details. It is a time-honoured tradition that allows the men to connect, address any concerns, and provide support to the groom and his family. The groom's father formally congratulates the couple and offers his blessings.

The radwa is an integral part of the Arab wedding traditions, which are rich in customs and rituals passed down through the generations. These weddings are known for their lavish celebrations, lasting several days with various pre-wedding and post-wedding events involving both families. While some modern twists have been incorporated, many couples still choose to honour and preserve these long-standing traditions.

Henna night

The women dress in traditional gowns, known as Palestinian ithyab, with the bride's gown being particularly extravagant and exquisitely embroidered. The groom wears the traditional Arab men's thobe and hata (head covering). The women dance with bowls of henna, chanting, and passing out party favours like candy, coin skirts, and fans. The bride is then presented with her mahr (a Muslim woman's condition for accepting a man into marriage, usually paid in gold).

The henna night is also an opportunity for the women to get their hands and feet painted with henna. While waiting for their turn, the women dance with the bride, sing Henna Night songs, and make the زغرودة / zaghroodah, a high-pitched ululation typical of such celebratory occasions. Sugar cubes are also offered to unmarried girls, who eat them in the hope of becoming the next bride.

In Old Palestine, the henna night was also used to prepare all the necessary wedding decorations and last-minute arrangements, as well as a chance for the families to celebrate together. The groom's family would dance through the streets of the village to the bride's house, where they would mix henna to decorate the bride and groom's hands.

In modern times, the henna night has become more of a fun event to celebrate the bride, with different themes like Bollywood, Arabian Nights, or any other ethnic ambiance. It is a time for the bride to freely dance and be herself without any men around, and it is usually the last night she spends at her parent's home.

The 'Walima' or wedding reception

The Walima or Wedding Reception

The wedding reception in Arabic is called the Walima. It is hosted by the groom's family, who also pay for the event, as is traditional in Islam. The Walima is a lavish affair, with extravagant entertainment and delicious food. The newlyweds' families are involved in the celebrations, which can include a DJ or live music, a giant dance floor, and a procession of drummers.

The married couple makes a grand entrance to the reception, known as the zaffa. The bride's father walks her to the groom, and they are followed by a troupe of drummers playing upbeat Arabic music. The couple then moves their rings from their right to left hands, signalling their union. The female guests make a high-pitched ululation with their tongues, called the zaghrouta, to cheer the newlyweds.

Guests will dance the dabke, the traditional Arabic wedding dance, with professional dancers. In Egypt, it is common for there to be belly dancers. There is rarely much sitting down at an Arab wedding, and guests will dance shoulder-to-shoulder in a circle. The groom is sometimes tossed in the air by his friends. After the formal entertainment, a DJ may extend the festivities.

The wedding cake is then cut, but not in the Western style. The bride and groom cut the cake with a large sword, usually one that has been passed down through the groom's family. At more ornate weddings, sparklers may emerge from the cake.

The buffet is then opened for guests, who will be served a wide variety of salads, meats, stews, sweets, fruits, and other Arab cuisine dishes. Alcohol is not served at Muslim weddings, but Turkish coffee and teas are usually available.

The Walima is the final celebration before the "ferdah", a small gathering exclusive to the couple's closest family members and relatives.

The 'Barmet Al-Arros' or farewell to the newlyweds

Barmet Al-Arros: Farewell to the Newlyweds

The Barmet Al-Arros is a joyful and exuberant ceremony that marks the end of the wedding celebrations and the couple's departure into their new life together. This ceremony is an integral part of the wedding festivities in Arab culture, which are steeped in timeless traditions and rituals.

The Ceremony

The newlyweds depart in a beautifully adorned vehicle, with their relatives and friends following behind in a joyous procession. The family members play loud music and honk their horns to announce the couple's union to the world. This festive farewell is a way for the community to celebrate the newly formed bond and wish the couple a lifetime of happiness.

The Procession

The procession is not a quiet affair. The family and friends follow the couple to their new home, playing music and cheering along the way. This is a time for the community to come together and celebrate love and new beginnings. The loud music and honking horns are a way to share the couple's happiness with everyone around them and invite them to join in the merriment.

The Significance

The Barmet Al-Arros is more than just a farewell to the newlyweds; it is a symbolic ritual that signifies the couple's transition into their new life together. It is a way for the community to show their support and blessings for the union. This ceremony also serves as a conclusion to the wedding festivities, marking the end of the celebrations and the beginning of the couple's married life.

Variations

While the basic structure of the Barmet Al-Arros remains consistent, there may be variations in how it is celebrated across different regions and communities. For example, in some areas, only female relatives and friends may participate in the procession, while in others, both men and women join in the festivities. Additionally, the type of music played and the specific rituals performed during the procession may vary, reflecting the unique cultural influences of each area.

A Blend of Old and New

Like many other aspects of Arab weddings, the Barmet Al-Arros has evolved over time, blending traditional rituals with modern twists. While the ceremony itself remains rooted in ancient customs, the vehicles used, the music played, and the overall atmosphere may reflect contemporary influences. This blend of old and new is a testament to the adaptability and richness of Arab wedding traditions.

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