Bridesmaids' Duties: What To Expect When Assisting The Bride

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. From financial commitments to providing emotional support, bridesmaids are expected to be there for the bride throughout the entire wedding planning process. This includes helping to plan and attend pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as the ceremony and reception. Bridesmaids are also expected to pay for their own travel, accommodation, and attire, and often chip in for the bride's portion of pre-wedding activities. It's important to be transparent about what you can and can't afford and to offer help and support to the bride and maid of honour wherever possible.

Paying for their own travel and accommodation

As a bridesmaid, you will be expected to pay for your own travel and accommodation for the wedding night or weekend. This is one of the biggest expenses you will need to budget for, especially if the wedding is a destination wedding or if there is a bachelorette party in a far-flung location.

It is important to book your travel and accommodation as early as possible. This will ensure that your travel logistics are convenient in terms of both the schedule and location of important events. It is also a good idea to do this early so that you can avoid any last-minute surprises or additional costs.

If the wedding is taking place where you live, you may still need to book accommodation for the night before the wedding, especially if there is a rehearsal dinner. You may also need to budget for additional travel and accommodation costs for other pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower or bachelorette party.

If you are struggling to afford the costs of travel and accommodation, it is important to be honest with the bride about your financial situation. You could also suggest alternative options, such as a downtown bar crawl in your own city instead of a destination bachelorette party.

Planning and paying for the bridal shower

As a bridesmaid, you can expect to be involved in the following aspects of planning and paying for the bridal shower:

Budgeting and Costs

Firstly, you will need to decide on a budget for the bridal shower. This will depend on factors such as the number of guests, the location, food and drinks, decorations, and any other activities or entertainment. It is important to be mindful of other wedding expenses that bridesmaids typically incur, such as bridesmaid dresses, travel, and accommodation.

Venue and Guest List

The bridal shower can be hosted at the home of the maid of honor, a bridesmaid, or a relative of the bride. Other options include restaurants, private banquet rooms, or venues that reflect the bride's interests, such as an art gallery or spa. The final guest list should include 30 to 50 people, and it is important to ensure that anyone invited to the bridal shower is also invited to the wedding.

Theme and Decorations

Once the date and guest list are finalised, you can choose a theme for the bridal shower. Popular options include a brunch and bubbly theme, a rustic theme, a wine-tasting theme, or a flower-arranging party. Decorations can include mylar letter balloons, customised posters, tassel garlands, and photo backdrops. Fresh flowers and candles are also a nice touch.

Food and Drinks

The food and drinks served at the bridal shower should complement the theme and the bride's preferences. For example, if the bride loves PB&J sandwiches, you can serve bite-sized versions as appetizers or desserts. A catered meal from the bride's favourite restaurant is also a nice option. Crudités, cheese plates, fresh fruit, salads, and pasta dishes are all popular choices. Don't forget to include some sweet treats and a self-serve bar or DIY mimosa station!

Games and Entertainment

Traditional bridal shower games include bridal bingo, wedding mad libs, and guessing trivia about the bride. You can also hire live musicians, a caricature artist, or a tarot card reader to entertain the guests. A photo booth or karaoke machine can also add to the fun!

Gifts and Favours

Guests are usually expected to bring a gift for the bride, and it is customary for the bridesmaids to bring a bridal shower gift in addition to a wedding gift. Bridal shower favours are optional but are a nice way to thank the guests for attending.

Timeline and Logistics

It is recommended to start planning the bridal shower at least six months before the wedding and finalise the date about two months before the wedding. The bridal shower should be a memorable celebration for the bride, a chance for friends and family from both sides to meet, and an opportunity to spoil the bride with gifts and well-wishes.

Planning and paying for the bachelorette party

The first step is to determine the guest list. The bride will decide who she wants to invite, which may include her bridal party, a larger circle of family and friends, and even members of her partner's inner circle. The host of the bachelorette party should then work with the bride to select two to four dates that work for her, and then poll the invitees on their availability.

The next step is to pick a location and figure out the date. The location will depend on the climate, vibe, and activity preferences of the group, as well as the cost of flights. The date should be selected three to six months in advance to ensure adequate time for planning and booking any necessary travel or accommodations.

Once the location and date have been decided, the host should ask the invitees for their budget to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the financial commitment. It is important to be transparent about the costs from the beginning of the planning process to avoid any misunderstandings.

The host will then need to book any necessary accommodations and transportation, as well as plan activities and meals. It is a nice gesture for the bridesmaids to treat the bride to dinner and drinks or cover her portion of a specific activity during the trip.

Finally, the host should confirm attendance with the group and share estimated costs so that invitees can make their final decisions about attending. It is important to be clear that attendees will be expected to pay their portion of the expenses if they cancel after a certain date.

Buying a wedding gift

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. Bridesmaids are expected to give a wedding gift, although this can be a small gift or a group gift if money is tight.

It is suggested that bridesmaids spend between $100 and $150 on a wedding gift, depending on their budget and whether they are splitting the cost with a plus-one.

Bridesmaids should either pick out an item from the couple's wedding registry or purchase a meaningful and thoughtful piece. If you are going for the latter, it is recommended to select a gift that is practical yet personal. As a bridesmaid, you know the couple well, so get something that reflects that.

If you don't have a lot of funds to splurge on a special gift, you can always ask the other bridesmaids to contribute to a group gift.

Bridesmaids are expected to give a gift at the engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party. However, if you are travelling to the engagement party, there is less pressure to buy a gift. At the bachelorette party, the act of throwing the party is considered a gift, so you don't need to give the bride something else.

Paying for their own attire

Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of responsibilities and financial commitments. One of the main expenses that bridesmaids are expected to cover is their wedding attire, including the dress, shoes, and accessories. While the bride will often have a specific vision for what her bridesmaids will wear, the method of choosing and purchasing these outfits can vary.

In some cases, the bride may request that all bridesmaids wear the same dress, which can be costly and may not be a style that can be re-worn. Alternatively, the bride may take a more relaxed approach and allow each bridesmaid to choose their own dress within certain guidelines, which can be more affordable and versatile. It's important to note that purchasing additional wedding day accessories, such as jewellery, also typically falls on the bridesmaids.

To stay within a budget, bridesmaids can consider shopping at thrift stores or exploring second-hand options through online marketplaces. Communicating openly with the bride about financial constraints is crucial, as it allows for flexibility and understanding. Being a bridesmaid is an honour, but it's also a significant financial commitment, so it's essential to be realistic about what you can afford.

Additionally, bridesmaids are expected to cover the costs of their travel and accommodation for the wedding and any pre-wedding events, such as the bachelorette party and bridal shower. These expenses can quickly add up, especially if the wedding is in a destination location. It's important to plan and book travel arrangements early to avoid last-minute surprises.

While the bride may have specific requests for the bridesmaids' attire, it's important to be mindful of everyone's financial situation. Open communication and flexibility can help ensure that all bridesmaids feel included and valued, regardless of their budget constraints.

Frequently asked questions