Bridesmaids' Expenses: How Much Should They Reasonably Expect To Pay?

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. The cost of being a bridesmaid can quickly add up, with expenses including the dress, travel, hair, makeup, accessories, and gifts. While the bride may cover some of these costs, it is not uncommon for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, shoes, and travel accommodations. There may also be expectations to contribute to bridal shower costs and to pay for the bride's expenses at the bachelorette party. With so many potential expenses, it's important for bridesmaids to be transparent about their financial situation and for the bride to be understanding of any budgetary constraints.

Travel and accommodation

If you are a bride, consider offering to subsidise the cost of travel and accommodation if you are unable to pay for it outright. If you are able to pay for it, this is a lovely gesture and will be appreciated by your bridesmaids.

If you are a bridesmaid, you should expect to cover the cost of your travel and accommodation. However, if this is a financial burden for you, it is important to be transparent with the bride about your concerns. Have an open and honest conversation and try to find a solution together.

If you are spending the night before the wedding with the bride in a shared suite, the bride will usually pay for this. Additionally, the couple should cover the cost of transportation to and from the wedding venue.

Bachelorette Party

The bachelorette party is another expense for bridesmaids, and this can be a particularly expensive celebration if it is a destination trip. Bridesmaids should cover most costs if the celebration is relatively budget-friendly or close to home. However, if the pre-wedding event is a production, it becomes a grey area. While members of the bridal party are expected to pay their own way, they are not expected to cover the bride's portion. Instead, they might pitch in for a special dinner or just the bride's hotel costs, rather than her airfare.

If you are a bride, be mindful of how much you are asking your bridesmaids to pay. Try to strike a balance and be willing to compromise. For example, if you are flexible with the shoes and jewellery your bridesmaids wear, they may be more understanding if you want them all to wear a specific dress.

If you are a bridesmaid, remember that you are not obliged to attend an expensive bachelorette party. If the cost is an issue for you, discuss this with the bride or maid of honour and try to find a solution together.

Gifts

While a role as a bridesmaid is surely gift enough, it is customary for bridesmaids to also give a gift to the happy couple. This is not mandatory, and the bride should not ask her bridesmaids to spend more money if they have already spent a lot on the wedding. However, if you are a bridesmaid and you are able to give a gift, you may want to collaborate with the other bridesmaids to get something special and keep costs down.

Bridal shower

Planning a wedding can be expensive, and these costs extend to the bridal party as well. While there are no steadfast rules, there are certain costs that bridesmaids are typically expected to cover. One of these is contributing to the bridal shower.

The bridal shower is usually hosted by the maid of honour, supported by the bridesmaids and bridesmen. However, it is becoming more common for family friends of the bride, or other close family members, to host and pay for the event. If there is no bridal party, close friends or family members may take the lead in planning, hosting, and paying.

The total cost of a bridal shower can range from a few hundred dollars to several thousand, depending on the number of guests and the venue. The budget is typically split evenly among the hosts, but it's important to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the amount, especially since bridesmaids are often budgeting for other wedding expenses like gifts, travel, and their dress.

When choosing a venue, there are a few options to consider. Hosting the bridal shower at home may seem like the most affordable option, but it's important to remember that you may need to bring in tables, chairs, table linens, plates, silverware, and glassware, in addition to food and drinks. On the other hand, hosting the event at a restaurant, hotel, or all-inclusive event space can take care of food, drinks, and rentals, but may be more expensive.

Decorations are another important aspect of the bridal shower. You can choose to DIY the decorations or hire a professional. While DIY may seem cheaper initially, it will take time, effort, and money to source the supplies and put everything together. Hiring a professional florist may be more costly upfront but can save time and support a small business.

Food and drinks are a major part of the bridal shower experience. Whether it's a full brunch, light hors d'oeuvres, or desserts, the hosts are expected to provide something for the guests to eat and drink. If the bridal shower is at someone's house, the hosts can prepare the food and drinks themselves, order from a local restaurant, or hire a caterer.

While there is no one-size-fits-all answer to how much bridesmaids should pay for the bridal shower, it's important to have open and honest communication between the bridal party and the bride to ensure everyone is comfortable with the financial commitments involved.

Bachelorette party

Planning a bachelorette party can be a lot of fun, but it's also a financial commitment for everyone involved. Here are some things to consider when planning a bachelorette party and deciding how much to expect bridesmaids to pay:

Location and Travel

If you're planning a destination bachelorette party that requires travel, it's important to recognize that this will significantly increase the cost for everyone, especially if it's a multi-day event. In this case, it's reasonable to expect bridesmaids to cover their own travel expenses, such as flights, rental cars, or gas money. They may also need to pay for their accommodation, such as a hotel or Airbnb. However, it's important to be mindful of the financial situation of your bridal party and choose a location that is affordable for everyone.

Activities and Dining

Bridesmaids should also expect to pay for their own meals, drinks, and any group activities they choose to participate in during the bachelorette party. This includes dining out, bar tabs, event tickets, or any other special experiences. These expenses can quickly add up, so it's essential to discuss budgets with your bridal party beforehand and choose activities that are within everyone's price range. Any extracurricular activities should be considered optional to accommodate different budgets.

Decorations and Extras

The cost of decorations, favors, and accessories for the bachelorette party should be split evenly among the bridal party. This includes items such as bachelorette swag, snacks, pool floats, matching t-shirts, or any other party supplies. It's important to discuss these costs in advance and decide on a budget that everyone is comfortable with.

The Bride's Expenses

Tradition states that the bridal party should cover most, if not all, of the bride's expenses during the bachelorette party. However, this can become a financial burden, especially for destination bachelorette parties. In this case, the bridal party may choose to cover the cost of the bride's accommodation or a special dinner, but not necessarily her travel expenses. The bride may also choose to contribute to some expenses, such as treating the bridal party to a round of drinks or chipping in for meals.

Planning and Payment

To streamline the payment process, it's recommended to designate one person, usually the maid of honor, as the bachelorette party planner. This person will be responsible for managing the budget, booking accommodations and activities, and keeping track of expenses. It's essential to have open and honest conversations about money with your bridal party to ensure everyone is comfortable with the financial commitments. Payment-sharing apps like Venmo and Splitwise can also make it easier to manage and split costs.

Saving Money

There are ways to save money and still have a memorable bachelorette party. Instead of a destination trip, consider a local staycation or a downtown bar crawl. Opt for budget-friendly accommodations like Airbnbs or add some free activities to the itinerary, such as a local hike or a picnic in the park. You can also make expensive activities optional or encourage everyone to bring their own food and drinks to reduce costs.

Remember, open communication about budgets and expectations is key to ensuring that everyone has a good time without breaking the bank.

Hair and makeup

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to determining who pays for the bridal party's hair and makeup. It depends on several factors, including the couple's and bridal party's financial situation, the cost of the hair and makeup services, and the expectations of the bridal party. Here are some options to consider:

The Couple Pays for All the Hair and Makeup Costs

This option is commonly chosen when the couple has the budget to cover the costs or is aware that the bridal party may not be able to afford the expenses. It is also appropriate if the couple insists on using specific hair and makeup vendors that are more expensive than other options.

The Bridal Party Pays for All Their Hair and Makeup Costs

This scenario is often chosen when the bridal party is willing and financially able to pay for their hair and makeup, or when the couple is working with a limited budget. It is also suitable if the couple gives the bridal party flexibility in choosing their hair and makeup styles or vendors.

The Couple Pays for Some, and the Bridal Party Pays for the Rest

In this option, the couple may choose to cover the cost of hair or makeup, while the bridal party pays for the other. Alternatively, the couple can contribute a set amount or percentage towards the total cost, with the bridal party covering the remaining expenses.

No One Pays for Professional Hair and Makeup

If budget constraints are an issue for both the couple and the bridal party, a DIY approach to hair and makeup can be considered. The bridal party can use their own products and tools or seek help from fellow members who are skilled in hair and makeup.

Other Considerations

It is essential to communicate early and clearly about expectations and financial responsibilities. If the couple insists on specific hair and makeup styles or vendors, it is generally expected that they cover the associated costs. Additionally, providing options and being flexible with certain aspects, such as shoes or accessories, can make it easier to ask the bridal party to contribute financially.

Ultimately, the decision on how to handle hair and makeup costs should be made as early as possible during the wedding planning process to ensure everyone is on the same page and to avoid any last-minute surprises or disagreements.

Gifts and surprises

Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of financial responsibility, from the dress and accessories to travel and accommodation. It's customary for bridesmaids to also give the couple a wedding gift, and to chip in for the bride's bachelorette party. So, what about gifts and surprises for the bridesmaids?

Gifts for the Bridesmaids from the Bride

It's not mandatory, but it is highly recommended that the bride and groom give gifts to their bridesmaids to show their appreciation for all the time, money, and emotional support provided. This could be something small and meaningful, like a handwritten thank-you card, or something more expensive, like paying for their dresses or hair and makeup. If you're wondering how much to spend, a good rule of thumb is to budget for a gift you'd buy for a birthday or holiday, with an average spend of around $75 to $100 per bridesmaid. You could also give a gift that doubles up as an accessory for the wedding, like jewellery or a clutch bag, or something personalised, like a robe or a tumbler with their name on it.

Surprises for the Bride from the Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids are usually expected to cover the bride's expenses for the bachelorette party, and it's also customary for them to give the couple a wedding gift. This could be an individual gift, or the bridal party might club together to give something more substantial.

Gifts for the Maid of Honour

The maid of honour often has more responsibilities than the other bridesmaids, so it's recommended to spend 15-20% more on her gift.

Frequently asked questions