The Groom's Son: Best Man?

The role of the best man is typically given to the groom's brother, close relative, or best friend. However, there are no set rules on who can be the best man, and this role can be given to anyone the couple feels comfortable with, including their son. While it is not common for a young child to be the best man, it is not unheard of, and the role can be adapted to suit the couple's needs. For instance, the child could be a second best man, or the ring bearer, with an adult first best man to deliver the speech and take on other responsibilities.

Choosing your son as your best man

Firstly, it is important to note that the best man is usually responsible for a number of important duties on and before the wedding day. These include planning the bachelor party, acting as a point of contact for the groom's side of the wedding party, helping to choose their attire, giving a speech, and keeping the wedding rings safe. If your son is old enough, he may be able to take on some of these responsibilities, but if he is very young, you may want to consider assigning some of these tasks to another groomsman or the father of the groom.

Another thing to consider is how your son will fit into the dynamics of the wedding party. If the other groomsmen are close friends of yours, your son might feel out of place, especially if there is a large age difference. However, if your son is older and already knows your friends well, this may not be an issue.

Ultimately, the choice is yours, and if having your son by your side is important to you, you should absolutely go for it. You could even have two best men, with your son taking on a more symbolic role, while another groomsman handles the bulk of the responsibilities.

If you do choose your son as your best man, there are a few ways to make the moment of asking him extra special. You could put together a fun box with some small gifts related to the wedding, such as a nice wallet, cologne, cufflinks, or a watch. Alternatively, you could write him a heartfelt card, expressing why you want him to stand by your side on your wedding day.

The best man's duties

Yes, a son can be a best man at a wedding. In fact, the best man can be anyone the couple feels comfortable with, including a son, grandpa, or even two special people sharing the title.

Now, here is a detailed list of the best man's duties:

Pre-Wedding Duties:

• Help choose the suits: Assist the groom and the wedding party in selecting their wedding attire.
• Arrange to meet the ushers: Get to know who the other groomsmen are and what their duties are.
• Liaise with the maid of honour: Chat with the maid of honour to prepare useful things for the wedding day, such as umbrellas or gifts for the couple.
• Help the groom with planning admin: Offer to help with logistical details like booking vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules.
• Plan the stag do: Organise the groom's last night out before the wedding.
• Write your best man speech: Prepare a well-crafted speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story.
• Organise a groomsmen's gift to the groom: Present the groom with a sentimental gift from his groomsmen.
• Organise final fittings: Keep an eye out for any last-minute suit fittings for the groom or groomsmen.
• Check in with the groom: Be a sounding board for the groom's nerves or wedding anxiety.
• Help with the pre-wedding set-up: Assist with picking up and delivering hired items, such as suits, and help with any set-up at the venue.
• Stay over with the groom: Spend the night before the wedding with the groom, preparing for the big day.

Wedding Day Duties:

• Help the groom get ready: Be hands-on with whatever last-minute tasks arise on the wedding day.
• Organise the ushers: On the morning of the wedding, hand out buttonholes to the groomsmen and keep an eye on the clock.
• Keep the rings safe: Be entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe ahead of the ceremony.
• Greet the guests with the groom: Ensure the groom arrives early and welcome the arriving guests.
• Stand at the altar with the groom: Take your place on the front right-hand side of the ceremony room at the altar.
• Escort the maid of honour out of the ceremony: After the ceremony, escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newlyweds.
• Stand in the receiving line: Greet the guests as a key part of the wedding party during the receiving line.
• Help organise wedding photographs: Round up guests for the wedding photographer's group photos and appear in them as well.
• Be the master of ceremonies: Announce key moments, such as the couple's arrival, speeches, and cake-cutting, if there is no designated emcee.
• Deliver your speech: Give a well-rehearsed and confident speech, traditionally after the father of the bride and groom speeches.
• Get the party started: After the first dance, dance with the maid of honour and encourage everyone onto the dance floor.

Post-Wedding Duties:

• Return and clean suits: Round up and return any hired items, such as suits, and take care of dry-cleaning.
• Take care of wedding gifts: Safely store the wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately after the wedding. Ensure all gifts, cards, and keepsakes are collected and delivered to the couple.

Age appropriateness

While there are no set rules on who can be the best man at a wedding, the role is often given to a groom's brother, close relative, or best friend. The best man is usually in charge of planning and organizing the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, and performing other small tasks.

Age is an important factor when choosing a best man. The role comes with significant responsibilities, including collecting money from the other groomsmen for a gift for the groom, helping the groom and groomsmen to pick out their wedding-day attire, holding the rings during the ceremony, and giving a speech. Therefore, it is generally recommended that the best man be at least a teenager, as younger children may not be able to handle these duties.

In some cases, couples may choose to have a younger child as the best man as a cute gesture, but it is important to note that this may require additional support from adult groomsmen or ushers. Ultimately, the decision of who to choose as the best man is a personal one for the groom, and there is no rule that says a best man must be chosen at all.

Alternatives to the best man role

While the role of best man is typically given to a groom's brother, close relative, or best friend, there are no set rules. Here are some alternative roles to the best man:

• Groomsman: The groomsman is a member of the groom's wedding party and is responsible for supporting the groom before and during the wedding. Groomsmen are typically close friends or family members of the groom and work closely with the best man to ensure the wedding runs smoothly.
• Usher: Ushers are responsible for greeting and seating guests at the wedding ceremony and helping to facilitate the smooth flow of the event. They may also assist with other tasks, such as handing out programs or escorting the wedding party.
• Ring bearer: The ring bearer is a symbolic role, usually given to a young family member or friend of the couple. They are responsible for carrying the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony, often on a pillow or in a small box.
• Witness: The witness plays a crucial role in signing the marriage license, along with the maid of honor, to legalise the wedding. This role can be assigned to the best man or another trusted individual.
• Emcee/Master of Ceremonies: The emcee or master of ceremonies is responsible for keeping the wedding reception flowing smoothly, introducing key moments, and engaging the guests. This role can be assigned to the best man or another confident and charismatic individual.
• Driver/Transportation Coordinator: The driver or transportation coordinator is responsible for ensuring the couple and wedding party arrive at the wedding venue and reception on time. This role can be assigned to the best man or another reliable individual.

Asking your son to be your best man

Choosing Your Son as Your Best Man

It is your wedding, and you can choose anyone to be your best man, including your son. While it may not be traditional, it is becoming more common for grooms to choose their fathers or sons as their best men, especially if they share a close bond. Consider your relationship with your son and if he is the person you want by your side on your big day.

Things to Keep in Mind

If your son is an adult, the usual best man duties, such as planning the stag party and giving a speech, may not be appropriate. Think about your son's age and comfort level with these responsibilities when making your decision. You may want to ask another friend or family member to help with certain tasks or give a speech if needed.

Asking the Question

When it comes to popping the question to your son, you can make it a special moment. Some ideas include creating a fun box with items related to the wedding, such as cufflinks, a watch, or a special card asking him to be your best man. You could also keep it simple and ask him directly, expressing how much his friendship and support mean to you.

Involving Your Son in the Wedding

If your son is too young to take on the full responsibilities of a best man, you can still involve him in other ways. Many people choose to have their young sons as ring bearers or page boys, walking the bride down the aisle. You could also give your son a special role in the wedding ceremony, such as greeting guests or escorting family members, without the official title of best man.

Best Man Duties

If your son is older and takes on the role of best man, he will have several duties to fulfil. These may include helping to choose and organise the groom's and groomsmen's attire, holding the wedding rings, giving a speech, and providing emotional support to the groom. It is also common for the best man to plan the bachelor party and coordinate with the maid of honour.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose someone who you trust and who will be there for you on your wedding day. If that person is your son, go ahead and ask! It will surely be a heartwarming moment for both of you.

Frequently asked questions