The Best Man's Speech: What's It Called?

The best man's speech is a wedding tradition that can strike fear into the heart of even the most confident public speaker. But it's also a tremendous honour and a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple.

The best man's speech traditionally follows the groom's and comes at the end of the reception, although some couples may opt for a different order or schedule speeches for the rehearsal dinner. It's a chance to share stories about the groom, offer advice to the newlyweds, and raise a toast to the couple's future.

The ideal best man speech strikes a balance between humorous memories and thoughtful anecdotes, with a focus on the couple's relationship rather than the best man's friendship with the groom. It should be lighthearted and positive, with just a sprinkling of jokes—especially if comedy doesn't come naturally to you.

The ideal length for a best man's speech is around seven minutes—long enough to be clearly planned out and well-rehearsed, but not so long that guests start to switch off.

Introduction and Icebreakers

The best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the couple, share stories about the groom, and bring the guests together in a shared celebration. It's an honour to be asked, and a responsibility to be taken seriously.

The best man's speech traditionally comes after the groom's speech and may or may not follow the maid of honour's toast. It's usually lighthearted, quick, and fun, but it's also an opportunity to say something meaningful about your relationship with the couple.

Icebreakers and Introductions

A good icebreaker will warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It's a great way to set a friendly tone for the rest of your speech. You could start with a joke about the groom or about your own unpreparedness. For example:

> "I've been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately, last night I slept like a baby – I woke up crying every two hours."

Or, if you want to be a little more traditional, you can simply introduce yourself and explain your connection to the couple. Share a quick, funny story about how you met the groom, or a memorable moment from your friendship. For instance:

> "Good evening everyone. I'm Tom, and I've known [Groom] since we were drawing stick figures in primary school. They say the perfect speech should be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep things interesting."

Messages from Afar

The couple may ask you to share messages from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. This is a lovely, meaningful gesture, but you can also add a funny twist by including some joke messages. For example, you could include an apology from Channing Tatum "for not turning up, as it was too hard to watch 'the one that got away'!

Story Time

This is the key section of your speech. Share some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom. You could talk about his dating history, his fashion choices, or his ability (or lack thereof) in the kitchen! For instance:

> "I've watched [Groom] attempt to cook, try to dance, and attempt to flirt – all with the same level of success as a penguin trying to fly. But somehow, despite his complete inability to send a text that isn't just 'k', he managed to charm [Bride]."

You could also share a story from your childhood together, or a memorable incident from your time at university. For example:

> "I remember when we first met in first grade. [Groom] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free one to shake my hand and ask if I wanted to be his friend."

Advice and Compliments

Now's the time to give some heartfelt and friendly advice. If you're married, you could share some golden rules for a happy marriage. Or, if you're not, you could ask the couple's parents or grandparents for their tips. You could also throw in a funny marriage quote from a movie or TV show, like this one from *Grey's Anatomy*:

> "To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running – ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever."

Finally, don't forget to compliment the bride and raise a toast to the happy couple!

Thank the previous speakers

Thanking the previous speakers is an important part of a best man's speech. It helps to lead into your speech and acknowledges the people who have spoken before you. You can thank the previous speaker(s) for their kind words, their thoughtful and sweet speech, or their wonderful stories. You can also thank the couple's parents for raising such incredible people and for hosting a great celebration.

"Let's give a round of applause for the amazing speech given by the maid of honour. If you enjoyed her thoughtful and sweet words, you better get the tissues ready for this one!"

"I'd like to begin by expressing my deepest gratitude to the couple's parents for raising such amazing people, who I'm fortunate to call my best friends. I would also like to thank their parents for hosting such an awesome celebration for all of us to enjoy this evening."

"The maid of honour's speech was so beautiful, and I know my speech will be a little different... so bear with me as I share some funny stories about the groom!"

"I want to thank the father of the bride for his kind words. It's clear to see where the bride gets her good looks and her sense of humour from!"

"A big thank you to the groom for his speech. I know he's not the biggest fan of public speaking, so it means a lot that he shared his thoughts and feelings with us today."

Share stories and anecdotes

Sharing stories and anecdotes is a key part of the best man's speech. It's a chance to celebrate the groom's character and unique connection with his partner, providing guests with a window into their relationship. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft this section of your speech:

• Select meaningful stories: Choose anecdotes that reveal the groom's character and entertain the guests. Structure your stories with a setup, development, and payoff. For example, "I remember when we first met in first grade. [Groom's name] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free one to shake my hand and ask if I wanted to be his friend."
• Balance humour and sentiment: Your stories can be funny, but also include genuine sentiment to create touching moments. For instance, "Mark's dating history before meeting Julie was... interesting. [Pause for effect] Let's just say there was a reason we called him 'The Cat Lady Whisperer.'"
• Connect the dots: Share stories that show how the groom has grown and transformed, especially since meeting their partner. For example, "Their love story isn't just about grand gestures or perfect moments. It's about the quiet understanding between two people who just fit together."
• Involve the audience: Include the audience in your stories by referencing shared experiences or inside jokes. This will make your speech more engaging and help everyone feel included.
• Keep it appropriate: Avoid controversial topics and inside jokes that might exclude or offend guests. Steer clear of ex-partners, political or religious views, and embarrassing personal moments. Opt for stories that are funny and relevant, such as the groom's attempts at cooking or their shared love of a particular hobby.
• Practice: Rehearse your speech multiple times to build confidence and refine your delivery. Practice in front of a mirror, with friends or family, or record yourself to get feedback. This will help you refine your stories and improve your overall speech.

Compliment the couple

Complimenting the couple is an important part of the best man's speech. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft this section of your speech:

Start with a Compliment

Lead with a sincere compliment about the couple. This can be about their relationship, their impact on each other, or their future together. For example:

> "I've known [Groom] for many years, and I've never seen him as happy as he is with [Bride]. They truly bring out the best in each other, and it's an honour to stand here today and celebrate their love."

Share a Story or Anecdote

Share a story or anecdote that showcases the couple's bond and highlights their unique connection. This could be a funny story or a heartfelt moment. For instance:

> "I remember when [Groom] first met [Bride]; he was usually so confident, but he was suddenly nervous and tongue-tied around her. It was clear that she brought out something special in him. And now, years later, that spark is still there, and their love has only grown stronger."

Highlight Their Positive Traits

Talk about the positive traits you admire in the couple. Mention how they complement each other and bring out the best in each other. For example:

> "[Groom], your sense of humour and kindness have always been evident, but seeing you with [Bride] shows a whole new side to you. Your patience, thoughtfulness, and dedication to her are truly inspiring. [Bride], your warmth, intelligence, and compassion have not only won over [Groom] but all of us here today. You are a perfect match."

Wish Them Well

Conclude this section by wishing the couple well. You can include some advice, a quote, or simply offer your heartfelt hopes for their future together. Here's an example:

> "To [Groom] and [Bride], may your love continue to grow and flourish. May your lives be filled with joy, laughter, and wonderful adventures. May you always find comfort and strength in each other. Cheers to the happy couple!"

Conclude with a toast

The best man's speech is a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. It's meant to be quick, lighthearted, and sincere. Here are some tips for concluding with a toast:

Keep It Short and Sweet

Best man speeches should be concise, usually under 5-7 minutes. Any longer, and you risk losing the audience's attention.

Raise a Glass

Ask everyone to raise their glass and provide well wishes to the newly married couple. You can steal this wedding toast: "Everyone, please join me in raising a glass to such a wonderful couple. I wish you a lifetime of peace, love, and happiness. Love you, guys!"

Be Heartfelt

Share a few sincere words about the couple's future. You can say something like: "May your love story be even better than the fairy tales, your adventures bigger than your dreams, and your reality more amazing than your expectations."

Inject Some Humor

Add a touch of humor to your toast. For example: "Before we drink to the happy couple, remember this: marriage is not just finding the right person, but being the right person. [Groom] and [Partner], you've done exceptionally well on both counts. Congratulations!"

Reference the Couple

Make sure to reference the couple in your toast. You can say something like: "To [Groom] and [Partner]: May your future be as bright as [Partner]'s smile when [Groom] finally learned to dance for the wedding."

Include a Quote

You can also include a quote in your toast. For instance: "As Billy Crystal said, 'True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.' Or as [Groom] would say, 'She likes pizza and doesn't mind that I snore.'"

Thank the Couple

Express your gratitude to the couple for letting you share their special day. You can say something like: "Thank you both for allowing me to be a part of your beautiful wedding, and I can't wait to see what else is in store for you in the future. Love you, guys, and cheers to the handsome couple!"

Frequently asked questions