The best man is the groom's right-hand man and typically his closest friend or relative. The role comes with a variety of duties and responsibilities, from providing emotional support to the groom to planning the bachelor party and giving a speech at the reception. One of the most important tasks for the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe until it's time for the couple to exchange them. The best man may also be expected to help choose and coordinate the groomsmen's attire, act as a witness when the couple signs the marriage license, and decorate the couple's getaway car. In addition, the best man is often responsible for collecting and safely storing wedding gifts, especially if the couple leaves for their honeymoon immediately after the wedding. While the best man is not usually involved in much of the wedding planning, he plays a crucial role in supporting the groom and ensuring that the wedding day runs smoothly.
What You'll Learn
Planning the bachelor party
Talk to the Groom
Firstly, you should talk to the groom about his dos and don'ts, including any activities that are off-limits. While a surprise party might seem tempting, you should at least inform the groom of the basic details, such as the timing, location, and type of activities. It will be easier to plan a party he will enjoy if you ask for his opinion first.
Finalise the Guest List
While discussing the basic details, it is also a good idea to decide on the guest list and get the groom's approval. In addition to the groomsmen, there may be other guests the groom wants to include.
Discuss the Budget
With the guest list decided, you can start thinking about what each person can realistically spend on the party. You can send out a Google form or informal group text to get a sense of everyone's budget and their willingness to spend money on things like travel and activities. Remember that the groom's expenses are usually covered by the rest of the group, so factor this into the cost.
Pick a Theme or Party Style
Next, figure out what type of party your group is on board with. Does your crew want an adventure-packed weekend trip, or are they more interested in exploring the nightlife after a baseball game? The general vibe of the party will affect the location, so be sure to get input from everyone.
Choose a Date and Location
By now, you probably have a good idea of where the party should take place, whether the groom prefers a chilled-out evening at home or a trip to a new city. The location should be conducive to the type of activities the group is interested in. Try to choose a date that works for the groom and the majority of the crew. Most bachelor parties take place over a weekend, about two months before the wedding.
Book Travel and Accommodations
With your guest list and party style in mind, you can move on to booking travel and accommodations, such as flights and rental homes. Be sure to get confirmation from everyone in your group before booking to avoid any last-minute changes or cancellations.
Finalise Activities
You've got a time and place, so now it's time to handle any remaining reservations, like booking a restaurant for a group dinner or securing tickets for an event. Other popular activities include golf outings, pool days, comedy shows, or brewery tours. Don't forget to pencil in some downtime for your guests too!
Confirm Attendees and Share the Itinerary
A few weeks before the party, check in with the group to get a final guest count and make a timeline of the activities. Share the itinerary with your group, including the order of events, hotel name and address, arrival times, and everyone's contact information.
Pack and Travel
It's almost time to hit the road, so start planning what you'll need to pack and bring any decorations or party supplies. As the host, you should plan to arrive earlier than the rest of the guests to handle any last-minute setup.
Celebrate!
It's party time! As the host, you should be a relaxed and upbeat presence, ensuring the groom and guests are having a great time.
Regroup and Say Thanks
After the party, send a quick thank-you note to the group to let them know you appreciated their time celebrating. You can also follow up on any missing payments and outstanding expenses.
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Buying a gift for the couple
The best man may also be in charge of collecting and safely storing the wedding gifts, especially if the couple goes on their honeymoon straight away.
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Giving a best man speech
Prepare in Advance
Don't leave writing your speech until the last minute. Start brainstorming ideas early on and practise your speech so that you feel comfortable and confident when it's time to deliver it. It's also a good idea to run your speech by a trusted person to make sure it's appropriate and won't cause any offence.
Structure and Content
A best man's speech typically comes after the father of the bride's speech and the groom's speech. It should focus on the newlyweds and their love story and be delivered from the heart. Include some cheeky jokes, but be mindful of the audience and avoid anything too rude or embarrassing. Make sure you mention everyone who needs to be mentioned and speak slowly, pausing for laughter.
Delivery
You're bound to feel nervous, but try to speak slowly and clearly. If there are any messages to be read out, do this at the same time as your speech.
Timing
Traditionally, speeches take place after the meal, but it's becoming more common to have them before so that the speakers can relax and enjoy their food afterwards. Make sure you're aware of the timings the couple has decided on.
Other Tips
- If you're giving a speech at the rehearsal dinner, it can be more casual and light-hearted.
- If you're nervous, you can include some last-minute jokes or tried-and-tested best man speech jokes to break the ice.
- If you're worried about forgetting something, bring notes or cue cards to help you remember.
- Be mindful of the length of your speech – it's best to keep it relatively short and sweet.
Remember, your role as the best man is to support the groom, so use your speech to celebrate the couple and make them feel special. Good luck!
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Helping the groom get ready
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to person throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. Here are some tips for helping the groom get ready:
In the Months Leading Up to the Wedding
As the best man, you can help the groom with a variety of tasks, including selecting venues, offering opinions on details, and coordinating with vendors. One of your most important duties is organizing the bachelor party, an event that celebrates the groom's last days as a single man. This involves choosing a venue and planning fun activities while ensuring the groom and guests have a great time.
The Week Before the Wedding
Attend the wedding rehearsal and dinner to familiarize yourself with your role and the overall schedule of events. During this week, you should also collect and keep the wedding rings safe until the ceremony.
The Day Before the Wedding
Double-check all attire details, and ensure everything is clean and ready. Review the wedding day timeline and coordinate transportation for the wedding party. Have a heart-to-heart with the groom to offer support and encouragement.
On the Wedding Day
Assist the groom with dressing and last-minute preparations. Help the groom and groomsmen with any wardrobe adjustments, such as straightening ties and folding pocket squares. Remind the groom to breathe and stay calm, as weddings can be stressful!
Most importantly, keep the wedding rings safe until it's time for the couple to exchange them during the ceremony. This duty symbolizes the trust and responsibility placed in you by the bride and groom.
During the Wedding Ceremony
Stand by the groom's side during the ceremony, offering him support and reassurance. If there is no ring bearer, you will present the rings during the exchange.
At the Wedding Reception
Act as the unofficial reception host by ensuring the newlyweds and guests are having a wonderful time. You may also be asked to give a best man speech, one of the biggest responsibilities of the role. Your speech should honour the groom and impart your shared history, offering sincere well-wishes and lighthearted anecdotes.
After the Reception
Help with any loose ends, such as tipping vendors, transporting gifts, and returning rented attire. Check in with the newlyweds after their honeymoon to offer congratulations and thanks.
Remember, being the best man is about supporting the groom and being there for him whenever he needs it. Offer guidance, a listening ear, and a calm presence throughout the entire process.
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Holding the wedding rings
Before the Wedding
Make sure you have a safe place to keep the rings, such as your inner jacket pocket. Check multiple times that your pocket doesn't have a hole in it! If there is a ring bearer, you will fasten the rings to the pillow as you line up for the processional and they will be passed to you for safekeeping until the officiant requests them.
During the Wedding
Be aware of where the rings are at all times. If you are also signing the marriage license, ensure that you have a backup pen in your pocket in case of any last-minute mishaps.
After the Wedding
If the couple is leaving for their honeymoon right away, the best man may be asked to take care of the groom's clothing and ensure that any rented attire is returned on time.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, it is customary for the best man to get a gift for the bride and groom. This can be a sentimental gift, something from their wedding registry, or cash.
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and confidant throughout the wedding planning process. He provides emotional support and helps with various tasks, such as planning the bachelor party and selecting the groomsmen's attire.
On the wedding day, the best man has several important responsibilities, including holding the wedding rings, greeting guests, standing next to the groom during the ceremony, signing the marriage license as a witness, giving a speech, and decorating the getaway car.
The best man can provide moral support and help with practical tasks such as suit shopping, planning the bachelor party, and coordinating travel and accommodations for the groomsmen.
The best man is typically expected to cover his travel and accommodation expenses for the wedding, as well as any pre-wedding grooming costs. He may also contribute to the cost of the bachelor party and a group gift for the groom.