The Best Man's Speech: Timing And Tradition

The best man's speech is a wedding staple, often the most anticipated toast of the day. But when exactly does the best man speak?

Traditionally, the best man speaks at the wedding reception, going last in the lineup of reception speeches. His speech typically comes after the maid of honour's, and is usually the one that kicks off the party. It should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few jokes that emphasise the couple's love for each other.

The best man's speech should be between two and five minutes long—not too long, not too short, but just right.

The best man's speech length

The best man traditionally speaks at the wedding reception, following the maid of honour. The best man's speech is usually highly anticipated, and is meant to be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the couple's love for each other.

The best man's speech should be kept concise, with a maximum length of around 5 minutes. This is because wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception. It is also important to consider that the longer the speech, the more likely it is that guests' minds will start to wander. A good best man's speech should be limited to no more than 1000 words, or about seven minutes. Any longer, and you will start to lose your audience.

It is also important to be mindful of the content of your speech. While it is a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and the groom, the focus should be on highlighting the relationship between the newlyweds. It is also important to be respectful and not to embarrass or offend the couple or guests.

When to give the speech

The best man's speech is an important responsibility, and the timing of it is crucial to the overall celebration. While the length and content of the speech are essential, deciding when to deliver it can be tricky. Here are some tips to help you determine the perfect moment to give the best man's speech during the wedding.

Traditional Timing

Traditionally, the best man's speech follows the maid of honour's speech and is typically the last speech of the reception. This position in the lineup makes it highly anticipated and sets the tone for the rest of the celebration. It is meant to be celebratory and encouraging, with a good mix of humour and heartfelt sentiments.

Scheduling Options

There are several options for scheduling the best man's speech. One option is to get the formalities out of the way early. This approach allows the best man to enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free and helps set the tone for the reception. You can schedule the speech right after everyone is seated, or wait until the first course is served to have a captive audience.

Another option is to wait until later in the meal. The sweet spot is about three-quarters of the way through dinner when guests are finishing their meals and still seated. This timing ensures that once the speech is done, guests can move on to the dance floor and other festivities.

Rehearsal Dinner

In some cases, the best man may choose to give his speech during the rehearsal dinner, especially if the wedding reception has a packed schedule or multiple speakers. This option allows for a more intimate and casual setting, and the speech can be longer and more involved.

Length Considerations

When deciding on the timing, it is crucial to consider the length of the speech. The best man's speech should not be too long, as it can disrupt the flow of the reception and may lose the attention of the guests. Aim for a length of two to five minutes, which is long enough to include all the necessary elements without becoming tedious.

In summary, the best man's speech is traditionally given towards the end of the reception, following the maid of honour. However, there is flexibility in scheduling, and it can also be given during the rehearsal dinner. The key is to find the right balance between keeping the speech concise and ensuring it has the desired impact on the celebration.

What to include in the speech

The best man's speech is usually the most anticipated speech of the wedding reception and it's meant to kick off the party. It should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the love the couple has for each other. Here are some tips on what to include in your speech:

Start by introducing yourself and explaining your connection to the couple. You can have fun with this part by sharing a quick joke or a lighthearted anecdote. Thank the previous speaker and express your gratitude to the couple's parents for raising such amazing people and hosting a wonderful celebration.

Stories and Anecdotes

Share personal stories and anecdotes about your relationship with the groom. You can also talk about the couple's relationship and how they first met. Keep the stories lighthearted, short, and meaningful. Avoid rambling or including unnecessary details.

Compliments and Well-Wishes

Compliment the couple and say something nice about their relationship. You can talk about the groom's qualities, such as his kindness or adventurous spirit. Wish them a lifetime of happiness, excellent health, and success.

Keep it Positive and Appropriate

Avoid making the speech into a roast or telling embarrassing stories about the couple or the groom. Stay away from topics such as previous marriages, drinking, drugs, or adult humour. Keep the speech positive and appropriate for all guests, including older family members and children.

Involve the Audience

Don't be afraid to involve the audience in your speech. You can ask them a question or pose a toast, inviting everyone to raise their glasses to the happy couple.

Keep it Concise

Aim for a speech that is sincere and concise. Three to five minutes is a good length, as you don't want to lose the attention of the guests.

Practice and Prepare

Prepare and practice your speech in advance. Practising will help you feel more confident and ensure your speech is well-received. You can also consider using note cards instead of a sheet of paper to avoid flapping around.

How to prepare for the speech

Preparing for a best man's speech can be nerve-wracking, but with the right amount of planning and practice, you can deliver a speech that will be remembered for years to come. Here are some detailed instructions to help you prepare:

Start Early:

Give yourself plenty of time, at least a month, to write and practice your speech. The weeks leading up to the wedding can be hectic, so starting early will help relieve some pressure.

Express Gratitude:

Begin your speech by stepping onto the dance floor and saying good evening to the crowd. Introduce yourself as the best man and express gratitude to those who deserve a special shout-out. Thank the couple's parents, the newlyweds for including you, and the guests for attending.

Talk About Your Relationship with the Groom:

Share how you met the groom, how long you've known each other, and what kind of person they are. Include a funny or heartwarming anecdote that sums up their personality. If possible, link this story to their partner to make it even more meaningful.

Focus on the Couple's Relationship:

Share a story that epitomizes the couple's relationship. Talk about the moment you realized their partner was "The One" for your friend. If you've known the groom for a long time, emphasize how the bride exceeds all expectations.

Keep it Short and Sweet:

Aim for a speech between three and five minutes. You want to avoid making it too long and causing people to lose interest. It will also feel shorter to you when you're delivering it, so be mindful not to rush through it.

Practice, Practice, Practice:

Practicing your speech is crucial. Read it out loud several times before the wedding and record yourself to identify areas for improvement. Consider sending the video to a friend or relative for honest feedback. While memorizing your speech is ideal, jotting down main points on notecards can help you stay on track without staring at a piece of paper.

Avoid Alcohol Beforehand:

Keep your alcohol intake to a minimum until after your speech. While it's normal to want to calm your nerves, alcohol paired with intense emotions can amplify them, and you run the risk of slurring your words. Save the celebrations for after your speech.

Finish with Congratulations and a Toast:

Conclude your speech by congratulating the happy couple and offering a toast to their lifetime of happiness. This can be personal, witty, or a meaningful quote about love and relationships.

Things to Avoid:

• Inappropriate anecdotes or stories that are not family-friendly.
• Any talk of exes or previous relationships.
• Long-winded stories that may cause guests to tune out.

Remember, the key to a great best man's speech is to focus on the couple and their relationship. Share meaningful stories, keep it concise, and practice beforehand. Good luck!

The best man's role

Being the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it also comes with a host of important responsibilities. The best man's duties include everything from groomsmen shepherding to bachelor party planning, but the most crucial task is delivering an incredible wedding speech.

The best man's speech is traditionally given at the wedding reception, following the maid of honour's toast and the parents of the bride and groom. It is usually the last speech of the night and is meant to kick off the party. While the best man's speech should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes, its main focus should be on the couple's relationship and how happy you are for them.

When writing your speech, it's important to consider its length. You don't want it to be too long, as you don't want to monopolise the reception, but it also shouldn't be too short, as you want to be able to say all the things you want to say. As a general rule of thumb, aim for somewhere between two and five minutes. This gives you enough time to crack a few jokes, share a few stories, and propose a toast to the newlyweds without rambling or losing the attention of the guests.

Public speaking doesn't come easily to everyone, so here are a few tips to help you deliver a great speech:

• Start with a strong opening that grabs the attention of your audience. This could be a fun quote, a story of your relationship with the couple, or a joke.
• Focus on the newlyweds and their relationship, rather than your friendship with the groom.
• Include a mix of humour and sincerity. While it's good to include some jokes, don't make them the main focus of your speech, especially if comedy doesn't come naturally to you.
• Practice your speech beforehand and consider getting feedback from a friend.
• Be mindful of your body language. Rehearse not just your words but also how you'll stand and present yourself. Use open body language and make eye contact with the crowd.

Remember, being the best man is a big deal, and you've been chosen because you're an important part of the couple's life. So, take the time to prepare a good speech and make sure it conveys all the love and well-wishes you want to share with the happy couple.

Frequently asked questions