Writing Wedding Invitation Envelopes: A Step-By-Step Guide

Wedding invitation envelopes can be a minefield, with a myriad of rules to navigate. From titles and surnames to guests and children, there are many things to consider when addressing your envelopes. This guide will help you to confidently address your wedding invitations without offending anyone.

Titles and honorifics: 'Mr', 'Miss', 'Ms', 'Mrs', 'Dr' etc

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes, it's important to consider titles and honorifics such as Mr, Miss, Ms, Mrs, and Dr. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you navigate this process:

Mr:

Use "Mr." when addressing a single male guest who is over the age of 18. If the guest is under 18, you can omit the title. For married couples, use "Mr." followed by the husband's full name. If the couple has the same last name, you can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name.

Miss:

Use "Miss" for unmarried women, usually those under the age of 18. For unmarried couples living together, use "Miss" followed by the woman's name on a separate line. If the woman is under 18 and part of a family being invited, include "Miss" before her name on the inner envelope.

Ms:

"Ms." can be used for unmarried women or married women who haven't changed their last names. It is also appropriate for single women over the age of 18. For married couples where the wife has kept her maiden name, write "Ms." followed by her name, with her partner's name on a separate line below.

Mrs:

Use "Mrs." for married women who have taken their husband's last name. Traditionally, "Mr. and Mrs." is used, followed by the husband's full name. If the couple has different last names, write the wife's name first, followed by her partner's name. For a divorced woman who kept her married name, use "Mrs."

Dr:

For a single person with a doctoral degree, use their title followed by their name (e.g., Dr. Erica Smiles). For married couples where one or both partners are doctors, address them as "Dr." or "Doctors" followed by their names. If both have the same last name, you can use "The Doctors [Last Name]."

Other Distinguished Titles:

If your guest has a distinguished title, such as a judge, military officer, or reverend, it is proper to use their title when addressing the envelope. Always list the person with the special title first, regardless of gender. For couples with the same title, spell out the shared title first, followed by their names (e.g., "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly").

Plus-Ones and Guests:

When addressing a single person with a plus-one, only include the name of the person you know on the outer envelope, and add "and guest" on the inner envelope. For unmarried couples living together, list both names on separate lines without using "and," which implies marriage.

Children and Families:

When inviting a family with children under the age of 18, reserve the outer envelope for the parent(s) or guardian(s) names. List each child's name, including titles such as "Miss" for girls under 18, on the inner envelope. For children over the age of 18, they should receive their own invitations, even if they live with their parents.

Remember to use the person's preferred title and full name whenever possible. If you're unsure, it's better to forgo a title or use the more general "Ms." or "Mr." when appropriate.

Married couples with the same surname

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with the same surname, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preference and the couple's sensibilities. Here are some examples:

Formal Addressing:

On the outer envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke"

On the inner envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Warren"
• "Thomas and Michelle"
• "Mr. Jackson Clarke and Mrs. Mary Clarke"

Informal Addressing:

On the outer envelope:

• "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
• "Mr. and Mrs. John Rivera"

On the inner envelope:

• "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren"
• "Thomas and Michelle"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Rivera"

Modern Addressing:

On the outer envelope:

• "Mr. Brian Freeman and Mrs. Valerie Freeman"
• "Mr. Brian Freeman and Mrs. Valerie Freeman-Warrington"

On the inner envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Freeman"
• "Brian and Valerie"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Freeman-Warrington"

Same-Sex Couples:

Same-sex couples can follow the same formats as above, ensuring that the appropriate prefixes (Mr., Mrs., or Mx.) are used. For example:

On the outer envelope:

• "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton"
• "Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant"

On the inner envelope:

• "Mrs. Walton and Mrs. Walton"
• "Mr. Grant and Mr. Grant"

It's worth noting that the use of titles ("Mr.," "Mrs.," etc.) is not mandatory, especially if you are having a more casual wedding. However, if you want to stick to tradition and formality, the use of these titles is customary.

Married couples with different surnames

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with different surnames, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind. Here are some guidelines to ensure your invitations are both respectful and elegant:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

The outer envelope is the one that will be stamped and sent through the mail, so it's important to get the formatting right. When addressing a married couple with different last names, the key is to write out their full names with the appropriate titles, such as "Mr." and "Mrs." or "Ms." For example:

• Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews
• Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes

You can also include both their first and last names:

• Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews
• Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Brookes

If the couple has the same first name, you can use their middle name or middle initial to differentiate:

Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan B. Matthews

If the couple has different first names but the same last name, you can use the full name of one person and just the first name of the other:

Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren

Inner Envelope Etiquette:

The inner envelope is optional and is placed inside the outer envelope to keep the invitation pristine. The inner envelope is more informal, and you have more flexibility with the formatting. You can use titles and last names or just first names. Here are some examples:

• Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Matthews
• Gwyneth and Cyan
• Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Cyan

Same-Sex Couples:

The same guidelines apply when addressing same-sex married couples with different surnames. Simply use the appropriate titles and names:

• Mr. Daniel Ramsay and Mr. Jeric Combs
• Mrs. Margarette Hyde and Mrs. Kayla Cruz

For the inner envelope, you can use their first names:

• Daniel and Jeric
• Margarette and Kayla

Unmarried Couples Living Together:

If the couple is not married but living together, their names should be listed on separate lines, with no "and" between them. The person you are closest to or know better can be listed first, or you can go in alphabetical order:

• Ms. Maria Stevens
• Mr. David Estevez

Contemporary vs. Traditional:

Today, there is more flexibility in how you address wedding invitation envelopes. You can choose a contemporary or traditional approach, depending on your preference and the formality of your wedding. Contemporary addressing often uses only first and last names, while traditional addressing includes titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs."

So, whether you're sticking to tradition or embracing a more modern style, these guidelines will help you navigate the etiquette of addressing married couples with different surnames on your wedding invitation envelopes.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to indicate their unmarried status by writing their names independently on two lines and without the word "and" between them. For example:

Mr. R. Stuart Holden

Ms. Amanda Holden

When writing the names on the same line, use a comma or "and" to separate them:

Mr. R. Stuart Holden and Ms. Amanda Holden

When addressing unmarried couples who live together, it is common to include both names on one line, listing the person you are closest to first. If you know the couple equally well, you can list their names in alphabetical order. For example:

Mr. Ed Parsons and Ms. Kara Porter

Or

Ed and Kara

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is proper etiquette to send separate invitations to each individual.

When it comes to titles, "Mr." is used for men over 18, while "Ms." is used for women over 18. "Miss" is typically used for unmarried women under 18, but these rules are old-fashioned, and you can go with whatever you prefer. For non-binary individuals, the honorific "Mx." is often used, but it is best to ask for their preferred title.

Single people with a plus one

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to single people with a plus one, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to use the correct titles and names on both the outer and inner envelopes. For the outer envelope, use the person's preferred title, such as "Mr.", "Ms.", "Miss", or the gender-neutral "Mx.". Include their full name, followed by & "Guest" or "and guest". This lets the guest know that they are invited to bring a plus one. For example, "Mr. Tyler Morris & Guest".

On the inner envelope, you can be more informal. You can use just the person's title and last name, or even just their first name. If you know the name of the plus one, include it here. For example, "Mr. Morris and Guest" or "Tyler and Guest".

If you are using only one envelope, be sure to include the names of all invitees clearly. Address the envelope to the person you know, followed by "and guest" or "plus one".

It's worth noting that including "and guest" is important. If the envelope only has the name of the person you know, it indicates that they are the only one invited.

Finally, when it comes to seating, try to avoid placing singles between married or very couple-y pairs. Instead, seat them with friendly, outgoing couples to create a communal feel and help them meet people.

Frequently asked questions