Guide To Addressing Wedding Invitations: Etiquette For Guests

Wedding invitations are important as they inform guests of the details of your big day and set the tone for the entire celebration. Knowing how to address your wedding invitations is crucial to ensure your guests feel welcome and respected. There are different formats for addressing married couples, unmarried couples, individuals, and families, and it is important to be mindful of titles, relationship status, and other distinctions. While it is common to use both an inner and outer envelope, with the outer envelope being more formal and the inner envelope being more casual, it is increasingly common to send invitations with only an outer envelope.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few different options to consider, depending on your preference and the couple's relationship. Here are some examples:

Formal Option 1:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Formal Option 2:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Informal Option:

A less traditional approach is to exclude titles and use first names only.

Outer envelope: "Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle"

General Guidelines:

• The outer envelope is typically more formal, including titles and full names.
• The inner envelope is more casual, allowing for first names only or a combination of titles and last names.
• For heterosexual couples, the traditional format uses "Mr." and "Mrs." with the husband's full name.
• For same-sex couples, either name can go first.
• If the couple prefers a more modern approach, you can exclude titles and use first names only or include both first names and the shared last name.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out the full names of the invitees. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". The inner envelope can then be more informal, for example, "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David".

If the couple has children and you wish to include them in the invitation, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez and Family". This implies that the children are also invited without having to list their individual names. Alternatively, you can list the children's names on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you have the option to use "Miss". Boys do not need a title until they are 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.".

It is worth noting that some married women may prefer the title "Ms." over "Mrs." as it does not identify them by their marital status. It is always a good idea to double-check each attendee's preferred titles and names beforehand, especially if they have hyphenated their last names or go by their partner's surname socially.

If you are close friends with one of the invitees and not the other, it is acceptable to list their name first. Otherwise, alphabetical order is a safe option.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to include both names on the invitation, either on the same line or on separate lines. If you choose to write their names on the same line, connect them with "and". Here's an example:

"Ms. Amanda Rhee and Mr. Stanley Kim"

If you opt for separate lines, the general rule is to write the person's name you are closest with first, followed by their partner's name. Like this:

"Mr. Aaron Triguiero

Mr. Gabriel Reyes"

When addressing unmarried couples, it's also essential to indicate that they are not legally married. This can be subtly done by placing their names on two different lines. However, use your best judgement, as a couple living together for a significant amount of time may deserve an "and" between their names.

When it comes to titles, it's recommended to use "Ms." for unmarried women and "Mr." for unmarried men. However, if you're unsure about their preferred title or want to avoid restrictions, you can simply use their first and last names.

Here's an example of how to address an unmarried couple living together on a wedding invitation:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Alysson Schulz and Mr. Ricardo Gonzales"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Schulz and Mr. Gonzales" or "Alysson and Ricardo"

Remember to double-check the spelling of your guests' names and their preferred titles before addressing the envelopes.

Single people

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the appropriate prefix should be used.

For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name.

For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name.

For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

If you are inviting a single person with a plus one, it is best to know the name of the guest's date. If not, simply include "and Guest" or "& Guest" after the invitee's name.

• Mr. Tyler Morris & Guest
• Ms. Elizabeth Lemon & Guest
• Mx. Courtney Andrews & Guest

If the guest is a widow, it is best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her husband's name. Some widows may also prefer to be addressed as "Ms."

For divorced women, you can use either "Mrs." or "Ms." along with either her ex-husband's surname (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.

If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honourable" before their full name.

For a single female under the age of 18, use "Miss" instead of "Ms."

For a single male under the age of 18, no title is necessary.

People with titles

When addressing wedding invitations to guests with distinguished titles, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles or prefixes for the guests' professions or honours. This includes titles such as "Doctor", "The Honourable", "Rabbi", "Reverend", and military ranks.

Secondly, when inviting a couple with distinguished titles, the person with the higher-ranking title or the one you are closest to should be listed first, regardless of gender. If the titles are of equal rank, the woman is traditionally listed first. For example, if both guests are doctors, the invitation can be addressed to "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith".

Thirdly, when addressing the outer envelope, use the full title and name of the guest with the distinguished title, followed by their partner's name and title. For the inner envelope, you can be less formal and use only their titles and last names or their first names if you are very close.

Outer envelope:

• "The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez"
• "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly"
• "Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown"

Inner envelope:

• "Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez"
• "Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Brown"

If both members of the couple have distinguished titles, the format remains the same. For example:

Outer envelope:

• "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy"
• "Colonel Peter Jefferies and Reverend Margaret Jefferies"

Inner envelope:

• "The Captains Kelly"
• "Colonel and Reverend Jefferies"

In the case of married doctors, it is proper to use "The Doctors" followed by their last name or the abbreviated form "Drs." followed by their names. For example:

Outer envelope:

"The Doctors Gabriel Roy and Alina Roy" or "Drs. Gabriel Roy and Alina Roy"

Inner envelope:

"The Doctors Roy" or "Drs. Roy"

If one partner is a doctor, list the doctor first, regardless of gender. For example:

Outer envelope:

"Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith"

Inner envelope:

"Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith" or "Tami and Christina"

The same rules apply for military personnel, judges, reverends, and other distinguished titles.

Remember to use the correct titles and to list the person with the higher-ranking title or the one you are closest to first. The inner envelope can be less formal, using only titles and last names or first names if you are very close to the guests.

Frequently asked questions