Having Multiple Best Men: A Unique Wedding Idea

While traditionally there is only one best man at a wedding, there are no rules against having more than one. In fact, it is becoming more common for grooms to have two or even three best men. This can be a great way to honour multiple close relationships and share the responsibilities of the role.

The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or family member and acts as their right-hand man and confidant throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. They are in charge of the groomsmen and are responsible for a variety of duties, from planning the stag do to giving a speech and ensuring the groom and groomsmen are where they need to be on time.

Having multiple best men means that these duties can be divided between them, reducing the pressure on any one individual. It also means that the groom doesn't have to choose between important people in their life, and can offer them all the chance to play an important role in the wedding.

You don't have to choose between important people in your life

Traditionally, a groom has one best man at their wedding. However, there is no rule that says you can only have one person in this role. In fact, it is becoming more common to have multiple best men (or "best people"). This can be a wonderful way to honour your close relationships with family and friends, and it alleviates the pressure of the role itself by sharing responsibilities.

If you have two or three special people in your life and can't decide who to choose as your best man, you don't have to. By having multiple best men, you can avoid hurting anyone's feelings and give them all a chance to share the duties. This will also provide a mix of personalities and relieve any tension between wedding party members.

For instance, one best man can be in charge of pre-wedding duties, such as the bachelor party and fittings, while the other can handle wedding day tasks like coordinating with guests and groomsmen photos.

However, there are a few potential downsides to having multiple best men. It may create unnecessary tension, as some people might be upset about sharing the position with someone else. It could also cause conflict or confusion between the best men themselves if duties are not clearly divided.

Ultimately, it's your wedding, and you can do what feels best for you and your partner. If you feel strongly about having multiple best men, go for it! Just be sure to communicate clearly and divide the duties accordingly.

Remember, the role of the best man is to support the groom and be their right-hand man throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. So, if you have multiple people who you know will be excited to fill this role and provide that support, there's no reason why you can't have them all by your side.

More support with best man duties

Having two best men can be a great way to ensure you have all the support you need in the lead-up to your wedding. While one best man is traditional, there are no rules, and it's becoming more common to have multiple best men.

If you're worried about the workload, or you have two people you'd like to honour with the role, having two best men can be a great option. Here are some ways that an extra best man can provide support:

• Planning the Stag Do: Planning an epic stag do can be a lot of work, so having an extra pair of hands to help can be a huge benefit. They can assist in organising the guest list, budget, activities, and dates.
• Suit Shopping: Suit shopping can be a daunting task, especially if the groom is particular about his style. A second best man can provide valuable input and help ensure that everyone is happy with their attire.
• Wedding Planning: While the best man isn't usually expected to be heavily involved in wedding planning, it's always helpful to have someone who can lend a hand. A second best man can assist with logistical details, booking vendors, managing RSVPs, and coordinating schedules.
• Emotional Support: Wedding planning can be stressful, and having an additional best man can provide extra emotional support for the groom. They can be a sounding board for any nerves or anxiety the groom may be feeling.
• Greeting Guests: On the wedding day, there may be a lot of guests to greet. A second best man can help ensure that all guests feel welcomed and that any potential problem guests are handled discreetly.
• Ring Security: One of the most important duties of the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe. Having two best men means there's an extra layer of security, and the rings are less likely to be misplaced.
• Speech Writing: The best man's speech is a big responsibility. Two best men can collaborate on writing and practising the speech, ensuring it's well-crafted and delivered with confidence.
• Ushers Coordination: The best man is typically in charge of coordinating the ushers. With two best men, this responsibility can be shared, making it easier to organise and instruct the ushers on their duties.
• Photographs: There are usually lots of group photos to be taken at a wedding. An extra best man can help round up guests for the photographer and ensure that everyone is where they need to be.
• Reception Duties: During the reception, the best man has various duties, such as acting as an unofficial host, keeping an eye on the guests, and making sure everyone is having a good time. Having two best men means these duties can be shared, allowing both individuals to enjoy the reception as well.

Mix of personalities to relieve tension

Having a mix of personalities as best men can help relieve tension and awkwardness between wedding party members.

According to Deliece Knights, founder and CEO of Dhalia Events LLC, "having more than one best person allows the marrier to enjoy the aspects of each person's personality on the day in a way that they wouldn't be able to if they were not both best mates".

Different personalities can bring a unique dynamic to the wedding party and help to avoid any potential conflicts or misunderstandings. For example, a Type A personality tends to be take-charge, competitive, and work well independently, while a Type B personality is typically more easygoing, flexible, and laid-back. Having a mix of these traits among the best men can create a well-rounded and balanced team that can handle any wedding day challenges or surprises.

Additionally, having multiple best men can provide added support and assistance with the various duties and responsibilities that come with the role. This can include planning the stag party, writing and delivering a speech, coordinating with the groomsmen and other wedding party members, and ensuring the groom has everything he needs on his big day.

By embracing a mix of personalities among the best men, the couple can create a supportive and harmonious environment that enhances the overall wedding experience for everyone involved.

Conflict or confusion between best men

Division of Responsibilities

One of the best man's traditional duties is to give a speech at the wedding reception. If there are two best men, it may be unclear whether each will give their own speech or if they will give a joint speech. If they opt to give separate speeches, there is a risk of repetition.

Another duty typically handled by the best man is organising the bachelor/stag party. If one best man is a better organiser but is shy, and the other is confident but less organised, it may be unclear which of them should take on this responsibility.

Communication Breakdown

If the two best men are left to figure out their responsibilities without clear direction, there is a risk that some tasks may be overlooked or left undone. This is especially likely if there is confusion or disagreement about who is in charge of which duties.

Confusion for Guests and Vendors

Having two best men may confuse guests and vendors, who may not know who to address or ask questions to on the wedding day. This is likely to be exacerbated if the two best men do not communicate clearly with each other and with the rest of the wedding party.

Conflict Between Best Men

If one best man ends up doing most or all of the work, animosity may build between the two. This is more likely if the responsibilities are not clearly divided, or if one best man is more organised or confident than the other.

To avoid conflict and confusion between co-best men, it is important to have clear and constant communication. The groom may want to create a group chat with the two best men to facilitate planning and ensure that everyone is on the same page. A clear division of duties is also essential, and this should be communicated to guests and vendors to avoid confusion.

No strict rule about number of best men

There is no strict rule about the number of best men a groom can have at a wedding. While traditionally, grooms have one best man, it is becoming more common to have two or three.

Wedding planner Zoe Burke says that while having two best men is fine, any more than that and "the title 'best man' can lose its meaning". However, she adds that if you feel strongly about having multiple best men, you could simply honour them as equal wedding party members.

Event planner Deliece Knights agrees that having more than one best man is not as logistically challenging as it may seem. She says that having multiple best men can ensure that those closest to the groom feel recognised by the title.

Wedding etiquette expert Amanda Hudes also emphasises that it's the couple's wedding, so they call the shots on who makes up the wedding party. She says there's no reason to hurt someone's feelings if the groom feels strongly that there are two people he wants to fill the role of best man.

If the groom has two best men, it's important to be clear on the division of duties. For example, one best man could be in charge of pre-wedding tasks such as the bachelor party and fittings, while the other could take charge of wedding day duties such as guest questions and coordinating groomsmen photos.

Frequently asked questions