The best man is the chief assistant to the groom at a wedding, and is usually a close friend or relative. During the wedding ceremony, the best man stands next to the groom, slightly behind him. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant, the bride, groom, and best man. This is common in some western countries, although in others the best man and bridesmaid participate on an equal footing. The best man is also responsible for holding the wedding rings and acting as a legal witness to the marriage.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Position during ceremony | To the groom's right, slightly behind him |
Role | Chief assistant to the groom; the groom's right-hand man |
Selection | Usually a close friend or relative |
Number | Usually one, but can be more |
Gender | Usually a man, but can be a woman or non-binary person |
What You'll Learn
The best man's position during the wedding ceremony
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and chief assistant at the wedding. He is usually a close friend or relative, chosen by the groom to support and assist him in any way possible before and during the wedding.
On the wedding day, the best man has several important duties to perform. Firstly, he should help the groom get ready and ensure that he and the other groomsmen arrive at the venue on time. Once there, the best man greets the arriving guests alongside the groom, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere before the ceremony begins.
Before the wedding ceremony starts, the best man takes his place on the front right-hand side of the altar, standing next to the groom and slightly behind him. If he is also the ring bearer, he ensures he has the rings ready for when the couple exchanges them.
After the ceremony, the best man may be required to escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newlyweds' exit. He may also be expected to stand in the receiving line at the wedding reception, greeting guests as they arrive.
The best man is often asked to act as the master of ceremonies, announcing key moments such as the couple's arrival, the speeches, and the cake-cutting. He is also responsible for giving a speech himself, usually after the father of the bride and the groom.
To get the party started, the best man traditionally dances with the maid of honour, if there is one, and encourages everyone onto the dance floor. Throughout the reception, he should keep an eye on the guests, ensuring they are okay and behaving appropriately.
Finally, the best man may have some post-wedding duties, such as returning hired items, taking care of wedding gifts, and checking in with vendors to ensure all expenses are settled.
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The best man's duties before the wedding
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidant throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day. Here is a list of duties the best man should carry out before the wedding:
- Help the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, as well as coordinate the other groomsmen's ensembles.
- Plan an awesome bachelor party.
- Attend pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, shower, ceremony rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner.
- Buy a wedding gift.
- Take charge of transportation for the couple to the reception, wedding-night hotel, or airport after the reception.
- Be the groom's personal aide and adviser before and during the wedding.
- Be the time enforcer – ensure the groomsmen arrive on time for the rehearsal, pre-wedding activities, and prep.
- Keep the wedding rings safe.
- Stand beside the groom at the altar.
- Sign the marriage license as a witness.
- Act as an unofficial reception host.
- Help collect gifts.
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The best man's duties on the wedding day
Traditionally, the best man stands on the groom's right-hand side during the wedding ceremony. Now, onto the best man's duties on the wedding day.
Being the best man is an honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Here is a list of the best man's duties on the wedding day:
- Support the groom: The best man is the groom's right-hand man and should support and assist him in any way possible before and during the wedding. This includes helping the groom get ready, reminding him to breathe, and ensuring he eats and drinks enough throughout the day.
- Coordinate with the groomsmen: The best man is in charge of the groomsmen and should lead all communication and activities. He should also help the groomsmen get dressed and ensure they are on time and appropriately dressed.
- Take charge of transportation: The best man may be responsible for driving the couple to the reception, wedding-night hotel, or airport. Alternatively, he can hire transportation services for the newlyweds.
- Keep the wedding rings safe: One of the most important duties of the best man is to hold on to the wedding rings until it is time for the couple to exchange them.
- Stand beside the groom at the altar: During the processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom and takes his place standing closest to the groom at the altar.
- Sign the marriage license: The best man signs the marriage license as a witness, along with the maid of honour, and hands the officiant a sealed envelope with their fee.
- Act as an unofficial reception host: The best man should keep his eyes and ears open at the reception to ensure the newlyweds and guests are having a good time. He should also make sure the wedding party knows where they need to be and when.
- Help collect gifts: The best man may be asked to help collect and deposit wedding gifts and cards in a safe place.
- Give a speech: One of the biggest responsibilities of the best man is delivering a memorable and entertaining speech during the reception. His words should offer sincere well-wishes to the newlyweds, accompanied by light-hearted anecdotes about the groom.
- Decorate the getaway car: The best man and the rest of the wedding party should help decorate the couple's getaway vehicle, if applicable.
- Tie up loose ends after the reception: The best man may be asked to help with various tasks after the reception, such as tipping and paying vendors, transporting gifts, and returning any rented attire.
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The best man's duties after the wedding
Traditionally, the best man stands on the groom's right-hand side at the altar. Now, for the best man's duties after the wedding:
The best man's duties don't end when the ceremony finishes. Here are some of the tasks that the best man may be expected to complete after the wedding:
- Ensure all vendors are tipped and paid.
- Transport gifts to the couple's home or another safe location.
- Return any rented attire.
- Check in with the newlyweds after their honeymoon to offer congratulations and thanks.
- Help with the cleanup or return of rental items.
- Make sure the groom's clothing is taken care of after the wedding, and rented tuxes are returned on time and intact.
- Check in with vendors to ensure all wedding-related expenses are handled.
- Help coordinate car transportation for the newlyweds to leave the reception.
- Help decorate the getaway car.
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The best man's speech
The best man is the groom's right-hand man at the wedding. It is an honour to be chosen as the best man for a wedding, but it also comes with great responsibility. One of the big tasks is giving a memorable best man's speech. Here is a guide on how to write and deliver a standout best man's speech.
How to Write a Best Man's Speech
- Start writing your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. Write down everything that comes to mind, and then you can start to shape your speech.
- Use a template as a guide. Most people have never written a best man's speech before, so it is helpful to have a structure to follow. You can add your personality and experiences to the template.
- Craft unique opening and closing lines that will leave a lasting impression. Find a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone for your speech. End with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.
- Share stories about the groom. Share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that show who the groom is and your relationship with him. Ask mutual friends if there are any stories you may have forgotten.
- Share what the groom means to you. Express the things you like about the groom and what he means to you. Talk about how he has always had your back, gives great advice, etc.
- Avoid mentioning former partners of the bride or groom. This is the bride's special day, and no bride wants to think of her new husband as the love interest of someone else.
- Keep it positive. Focus on uplifting and humorous elements.
- Conclude with a toast to the couple, wishing them a happy future and life together.
Tips for Delivering a Stellar Best Man's Speech
- Practice as much as possible. Rehearse your speech multiple times to familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Practising in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help refine your delivery for a polished performance.
- Calm yourself before and during the speech. Take deep breaths and slow down. Visualise yourself as a great speaker.
- Connect with the audience. Maintain eye contact, speak clearly, use hand gestures, and express your emotions genuinely.
- Keep it short. While there is no set time limit for speeches, shorter is better. Aim for around 4-7 minutes.
- Be confident. Remember that public speaking is hard for most people, but you can do it!
Where Does the Best Man Stand?
During the wedding ceremony, the best man traditionally stands next to the groom, slightly behind him. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant, the bride, the groom, and the best man.
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Frequently asked questions
The best man stands on the front right-hand side of the ceremony room at the altar, next to the groom.
The best man may be asked to act as an unofficial reception host, greeting guests and ensuring they are having a good time.
The best man will need to help organise the wedding photographs, appearing in many of them himself and rounding up guests for the photographer's group shots.
The best man traditionally gives his speech during the reception, after the meal. However, it's becoming more common for the speech to take place before the meal so that the best man can relax and enjoy their food afterwards.
After the first dance, it's traditional for the best man to dance with the maid of honour (if there is one) and get the party started by encouraging everyone onto the dance floor.