Kissing At The Altar: Wedding Traditions Explored

Kissing is an important aspect of relationships, helping couples to bond emotionally and physically. It is a way to express love, affection, and passion, and can lead to increased feelings of intimacy and trust. Kissing also plays a role in sexual arousal and foreplay, and can be a factor in determining compatibility and chemistry between partners.

However, kissing before marriage is a controversial topic, especially among Christians. While some believe that kissing before marriage is acceptable as long as it does not lead to lust or premarital sex, others argue that it is a sin and should be avoided until the wedding day. Ultimately, the decision comes down to the couple's personal beliefs and intentions.

The history of kissing at weddings

Kissing at weddings is a tradition that has persisted for centuries. While the history of the wedding kiss is a little muddled, it appears to have originated in Ancient Rome.

In ancient Roman times, marriage was seen as a contract, and instead of signing your name, you would confirm your commitment with a kiss. The expression "to seal with a kiss" comes from this period of widespread illiteracy, where kisses served to seal agreements. This transactional nature of the wedding kiss is also reflected in a story from Scotland, where the pastor was always first to kiss the bride, as her happiness was believed to be at stake.

The wedding kiss is also rooted in religious traditions. In ancient Catholic ceremonies, priests would give the groom a "kiss of peace," which would then be passed on to his new wife. This is believed to be the origin of the phrase "you may now kiss the bride." In other religions, the kiss illustrates the theme that two become one, as mentioned in the Bible, Mark 10:8.

The wedding kiss has evolved to symbolize love and devotion between the couple. It is often anticipated as one of the most important moments of a wedding ceremony. While it is not a compulsory part of the ceremony, it is considered a joyful start to the marriage.

Today, the etiquette of a wedding kiss is to show love without making guests uncomfortable. A quick peck may seem insincere, while a passionate kiss can be inappropriate for the setting. The goal is to strike a balance that is authentic and endearing.

The meaning of kissing at weddings

Kissing at a wedding holds a lot of significance and is steeped in tradition. The act symbolises love and commitment, with the first kiss as newlyweds usually taking place at the end of the wedding ceremony, after the vows and rings have been exchanged. This first kiss solidifies the couple's commitment to each other as they begin their married life together.

The tradition of kissing at weddings is believed to have originated in Ancient Rome, where marriage was seen as a contract. In Roman times, when literacy rates were low, a public kiss served as a way to seal a legal contract, giving rise to the phrase "sealed with a kiss". This custom was also adopted by the Catholic Church, where the priest would give the groom the "kiss of peace", which the groom would then pass on to his bride. This is thought to be the origin of the phrase "you may now kiss the bride", which is often said by the officiant at weddings to prompt the couple to kiss.

In Christian belief, the kiss at a wedding symbolises the exchange of souls between the bride and groom, fulfilling the scripture in St Mark's Gospel that "the two shall become one flesh".

While the kiss at a wedding is a long-standing tradition, it is not compulsory. Couples who are uncomfortable with public displays of affection can choose to alter or skip the kissing moment altogether. They may opt for a shorter kiss, exchange hugs, or have their first kiss in private with only a small group of people present.

Kissing at weddings in different cultures

Kissing traditions vary across the world, and this is no different when it comes to weddings. While in some cultures, kissing is a common gesture of greeting, in others, it is considered taboo.

In Sweden, if the groom leaves the room, male guests are allowed to kiss the bride, and vice versa. This fun tradition is a lighthearted way for guests to interact with the newlyweds.

In Ethiopia, weddings typically last for at least two days. To close the first day, the bride and groom bow and kiss the knees of the elders as they exit the venue.

In Russia, throughout the wedding celebrations, guests can chant "Gor'ko" ("bitter"), and the bride and groom must then kiss for as long as the chanting continues.

In some cultures, the wedding kiss is understood to be the couple's first, giving it a sweet quality. In others,

How to prepare for your wedding kiss

The first kiss as a married couple is a special moment, and one that you'll want to get right. It's a moment filled with emotion and joy, and one that you'll want to remember forever. Here are some tips to help you prepare for your wedding kiss:

Talk to your partner

Before the big day, discuss with your partner what you both want your wedding kiss to look like. While you may be tempted to choreograph the perfect kiss, a more natural, unpractised kiss will feel more authentic.

Practice

If you want to ensure you're both on the same page, it can help to practice kissing your partner ahead of time. This will give you a sense of spontaneity while also making you feel more confident.

Keep it PG-rated

Remember that your wedding kiss will be witnessed by your friends and family, so it's best to keep things tasteful and G-rated. A quick peck may seem insincere, but you also don't want to get too carried away. Aim for a kiss that is affectionate, sweet, and sincere.

Hand placement

Decide what you're going to do with your hands. Some popular options include holding hands, a partial embrace with hands on each other's waists, or a 'face grab'.

Duration

You'll want to kiss for long enough that your photographer has time to capture the moment, but not so long that it becomes awkward. Most experts recommend a kiss lasting between 3 and 10 seconds.

Avoid dramatics

While a dip or a lift can add drama to your wedding kiss, it's important that you don't surprise your partner with this. Practice any moves ahead of time to avoid an embarrassing mishap.

Head tilt

A slight head tilt is necessary to avoid bumping noses, but be careful not to overdo it. Normally, the bride tilts her head to the right, but do whatever feels natural for you as a couple.

Close your eyes

Remember to close your eyes when you kiss. This will make for more romantic photos, and it will also feel more intimate and natural.

No tongue

It's best to avoid an open-mouth kiss during your wedding ceremony. This can feel awkward for your guests and may not photograph well. Save the passion for later!

Remind your officiant to step aside

Before the wedding, remind your officiant to step off to the side before they pronounce you as a married couple. This will ensure that your wedding kiss photos are not obstructed.

Alternatives to kissing at weddings

Kissing at weddings is a long-standing tradition, but it is not for everyone. If you are looking for alternatives to the wedding kiss, there are plenty of options to choose from.

One option is to replace the kiss with a hug. This can be a sweet and sentimental way to show your affection without locking lips in front of a crowd. You could also go for a kiss on the cheek or the forehead, which is more intimate than a hug but less intense than a full-on kiss.

If you want to involve your guests, you could invite all the couples in attendance to kiss at the same time, so the focus is not solely on you. Or, if you have children, you could give them a smooch on the cheek to symbolise your family coming together.

For those who want to avoid any physical contact, there are still plenty of alternatives. You could pop some champagne and toast your marriage, or set off party poppers and throw confetti to celebrate. If you want to involve your guests, you could hand out glasses so everyone can raise a toast to your marriage.

Another option is to involve your pet. If you have a furry friend at your ceremony, you and your partner can lean down and give them a kiss on the cheek simultaneously.

Finally, you could perform a secret handshake or a cute, dorky dance. These options are sure to get your guests laughing and will result in some hilarious photos.

Remember, it's your wedding, so do what feels right for you. You can modify or skip the wedding kiss entirely to suit your comfort level and personal style.

Frequently asked questions