Breaking Traditions: Girls As Ring Bearers

The role of a ring bearer is to deliver the wedding bands to the altar. In a traditional wedding procession, the ring bearer comes down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and is usually a boy between the ages of three and eight. However, this is not set in stone, and girls can also be ring bearers. If there are only female children close to the couple, they can ask one of them to be a ring bearer.

Girls can be ring bearers too

Traditionally, ring bearers are boys between the ages of three and eight. However, this is not set in stone, and there are no steadfast rules when it comes to choosing a ring bearer. If you don't know any boys of that age, or you want to break with tradition, you can absolutely ask a girl to take on the role.

Choosing a girl as your ring bearer

If you're choosing a girl for the role, the same guidelines apply: pick someone you or your partner are close to and have a good relationship with, like the daughter of one of your honour attendants or a family member. If the girl is old enough, talk to her to see if she would like to be a ring bearer at your wedding. That way, you're allowing her to decide if she wants to take on the responsibility. If she doesn't, perhaps she could hand out ceremony programs instead, which has fewer responsibilities and less of a spotlight.

In a traditional wedding ceremony, the ring bearer walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and before the flower girl. They carry the wedding rings, usually on a pillow, and hand them to the officiant or best man at the altar. Depending on their age, they can then sit with their parents or stand with the rest of the wedding party.

The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party, matching the level of formality and colour scheme. If the ring bearer is a child, consider what they will be most comfortable in – this will help keep them excited about the role and avoid any fussing over clothing. Traditionally, the child's parents pay for the outfit, although some couples choose to pay for it themselves.

Gifts for the ring bearer

As a member of the wedding party, it's customary to give the ring bearer a gift. If your ring bearer is a child, consider something they can wear on the day, like a fun pair of sunglasses or quirky socks. For an older child or adult, a personalised memento like an engraved frame is a nice touch.

The role of the ring bearer

The ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children who walk down the aisle carrying the wedding rings. The ring bearer is usually a boy, but girls can also take on this role. The ring bearer is often accompanied by a flower girl and traditionally comes after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and before the bride in the wedding procession.

The ring bearer is not necessary to get the couple formally hitched, but they do have an important responsibility: delivering the rings. If the ring bearer is old enough to walk on their own, they should head down the aisle after the wedding party and deliver the rings to the best man or wedding officiant. If the ring bearer is too young to walk, their parent or guardian can carry them during the processional, or they could be escorted by the flower girls. Alternatively, someone could pull the ring bearer in a wagon or small car.

The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party. It should be within the same colour scheme and match the level of formality. For formal and semi-formal dress codes, the ring bearer traditionally wears a kid-sized tuxedo or suit. The ring bearer's parents traditionally pay for the outfit, although the couple may choose to do so.

The ring bearer carries something that holds the wedding rings, often a pillow or ring box. The rings are usually tied to the pillow with strings to keep them secure. Boxes made of wood or glass are another popular choice. The ring bearer can also carry the rings in a briefcase marked "ring security" or in a basket with flowers.

It is up to the couple whether the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings or not. The couple may choose to give the ring bearer fake rings to avoid losing them. If the ring bearer is entrusted with the real rings, a member of the wedding party or the wedding planner can hand them to the ring bearer right before the ceremony starts.

The ring bearer is usually between the ages of three and eight. This age range ensures the child is mature enough to handle the responsibility. However, the couple may choose a child younger than three or older than eight if they think the child will enjoy the role. If the couple selects a child for the role, they should speak to the child's parents to ensure they are willing to take on the responsibility of preparing the child for the wedding and purchasing their outfit and accessories.

Choosing a ring bearer

Including children in your wedding can be a great way to make your special day all the more memorable. If you're thinking of having a ring bearer, here are some things to consider:

Firstly, you need to decide if you want children at your wedding at all. If you're planning an adults-only event, you can still have a ring bearer and/or flower girl who will then return to the care of their parents after the ceremony.

Choosing the Right Age

If you've decided to include children, the next step is to choose an appropriate age for your ring bearer. Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight. Younger children may be too shy, while older children may feel more comfortable and could even take on the role of junior groomsmen. If you want a child younger than three to be your ring bearer, be sure to speak with their parents first to see if they can escort the child down the aisle.

Creating a List of Potential Ring Bearers

Now it's time to make a list of potential ring bearers. Perhaps you have children of your own, or your siblings or close friends do. If you're struggling to find a young boy, don't be afraid to break gender roles and choose a girl instead! You could also consider older children in your family who could walk down the aisle as ushers, or even your beloved family pet.

Involving Multiple Ring Bearers

If you have several children in mind, you can always include more than one ring bearer. Older children could pull younger ones in a wagon, or each attendant could carry the rings or a sign. If you're committed to choosing just one, consider the children's ages, personalities, and how well you know them. Will they be shy or steal the show?

The Role of the Parents

Remember that the parents of your chosen ring bearer will have a lot of behind-the-scenes work to do. They'll need to purchase the child's wedding attire, prepare them for the day, handle any meltdowns, and more. Be sure to discuss these responsibilities with the parents before making your decision.

Asking the Right Way

Once you've chosen your ring bearer and received the parents' approval, get creative when asking the child to be part of your wedding. Surprise them with a new toy, a sweet card, or their favourite candy. Be sure to also discuss outfit requirements, especially if you want the parents to pay for the attire.

Giving Other Kids Special Jobs

If there are other children who are special to you but won't be able to participate in the ceremony, give them other duties such as handing out programs, blowing bubbles, or shaking noisemakers after your first kiss. You can also surprise them with their own flower crown, boutonniere, or corsage.

What does a ring bearer wear?

There are a few different ways to dress a ring bearer for a wedding. The most common approach is to dress them in a miniature version of the groom's outfit, including the tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. This allows the ring bearer to stand out from the groomsmen while still coordinating with the groom. Alternatively, the ring bearer can wear the same outfit as the groomsmen, making them feel like "one of the guys".

If the ring bearer is too small for a tuxedo, they can wear just the pants, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders and shoes. If the child is a toddler, another option is to purchase a toddler's tuxedo with matching shoes, though this is less common as toddlers may struggle to carry out their ring-bearing duties and will likely grow out of the outfit quickly.

In terms of formality, the ring bearer's outfit should match the style of the wedding. For formal and semi-formal weddings, a kid-sized tuxedo or suit is traditional. The ring bearer's outfit should also coordinate with the groom or groomsmen's attire. Accessories such as suspenders, a bow tie, a hat, or a patterned jacket can be added for a fun twist, especially if you want to incorporate the wedding theme into the ring bearer's outfit.

The ring bearer's parents typically pay for their child's outfit, so be sure to give them options at different price points. If you are able to, it is a thoughtful gesture to purchase the outfit or an accessory yourself.

Does the ring bearer carry the real rings?

The ring bearer is responsible for delivering the wedding bands to the altar, usually by carrying the rings down the aisle during the ceremony. The rings are then passed to the best man or best woman, or another person of honour, who holds them until the couple is ready to exchange rings.

Whether or not the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings is up to the couple. Some couples may prefer to give the ring bearer fake rings, or decorative plastic rings tied to a ribbon on the pillow, as a precaution in case the ring bearer is very young. The best man or wedding officiant typically carries the real rings to avoid the risk of them being lost.

If the couple does decide to give the ring bearer the real rings, it is suggested that they are handed to the ring bearer just before the ceremony begins.

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