Sikh Wedding Vows: Their True Meaning

Sikh wedding vows, known as Lavaas, are taken during the Anand Karaj, or the Sikh marriage ceremony, which means 'Blissful Union'. The ceremony is centred around The Guru Granth Sahib (Holy Book) and involves the couple walking around it four times, signifying their union. The four Lavan, or hymns, were composed by Guru Ram Das and signify the couple's promise to help each other towards the spiritual goal of merging their souls with God.

The meaning of the four Pheras

The Sikh wedding ceremony, Anand Karaj, meaning 'Blissful Union', is a beautiful representation of elegance, purity and serenity. The four pheras, or lavan, are a fundamental part of the ceremony. The word 'lavan' refers to the spiritual union of the bride (Atma) and the groom (Parmatma). Each phera has a verse associated with it, describing the various stages of marital love and the importance of a wedding. The four verses are as follows:

First Verse

The first verse, "Har pahl di lav par virti karam dridaya Bal Ram jio", is sung in Raag Suhi and was composed by Guru Ram Das Ji. This first phera marks the start of the ceremony and states the piousness of the marriage. It tells the couple to stay on the path of dharma and to meditate on God's name to find their true identity. It is believed that by following the path of dharma, the couple will attain celestial bliss and dispel their fears and worries.

Second Verse

The second verse, "Har dooj di lav Satgur purukh milaya Bal Ram jio", instructs the couple to put aside their egos and material possessions and instead search for the true guru. The guru is described as omnipresent, residing within and all around, and as the master of the universe, whose praise must be sung.

Third Verse

The third verse, "Har teej di lav man chao bhiya bairagiya Bal Ram jio", speaks of the couple's true love for God. The bride accepts that she has met the divine saint and sings his praise. She speaks of the infinite and the name of her true God, which resonates within her and completes her. Guru Nanak Ji proclaims that the couple's hearts must be filled with divine love for the Lord.

Fourth Verse

The fourth verse, "Har chouth di lav man sahaj bhiya Harpaiya Bal Ram jio", explains that the couple has found peace and equilibrium in their minds as they have reached God. The bride is now ready to leave her parents' home and move into the groom's house, as their souls are now blended with God. The final hymn describes the spiritual union of the couple and their commitment to God, marking the official completion of the ceremony.

The importance of parental consent

The Roka ceremony involves the father of the bride visiting the groom's home to offer his blessing by applying a tilak on the groom's forehead and presenting him with gifts such as sweets, money, and clothing. The Thaka ceremony is similar, but performed by the groom's parents for the bride. During this ceremony, the bride is given gifts such as jewellery, makeup, and a red dress to be worn on her wedding day. The blessing of the bride is signified by the act of draping a dupatta or chunni (a long, sacred scarf) over her head.

These rituals highlight the importance of family involvement and serve to celebrate the support provided by the parents of both the bride and groom. They also symbolise the acceptance of the union by both families. The Roka and Thaka rituals are typically performed either on the day of the engagement ceremony or a few days before, marking the official start of the wedding proceedings.

In addition to parental consent, parental participation is also significant during the wedding ceremony itself. The father of the bride plays a crucial role in the Lavaas (wedding vows) ceremony. After the couple has recited their vows, the father of the bride places a saffron-coloured scarf on the groom's shoulder, with the other end placed in the bride's hand. This symbolises that the couple is now joined and ready to embark on their new life together.

The significance of the Sikh wedding ceremony

The Sikh wedding ceremony, known as the Anand Karaj, or "Blissful Union", is a colourful and unique ceremony that joins two individuals in a partnership of equals. The ceremony is not just about the couple but also their families, and the joining of two families.

The Anand Karaj is a deeply spiritual and religious event. It is a sacrament, a union of two souls, and not just a physical or legal contract. The ceremony is centred around the Guru Granth Sahib (Holy Book), with the couple sitting side by side in front of it. The marriage is conducted by an Amritdhari (Amrit Initiation in Sikhism) Sikh, who explains the significance of the marriage and the couple's responsibilities to each other. The couple then bow before the Guru Granth Sahib and the father of the bride places a saffron-coloured scarf on the couple, joining them and preparing them for their vows.

The priest then performs the four Lavan or stanzas from the Guru Granth Sahib. After each stanza, the couple walks around the Guru Granth Sahib in a clockwise direction, with the groom leading the bride. The Raagis, or Sikh musicians, sing the Lavan in the background. The Lavan are the most crucial part of the ceremony, uniting the couple through four verses of scripture and religious messaging.

The Sikh wedding ceremony is a public promise by the couple to lead a Guru-centred life. It is also a promise to help each other towards the spiritual goal of merging their souls (Atma) with God (Parmatma). The ceremony is a blend of the new couple's heritage and personal choice, with many moments of connection between family members and the couple.

The role of the Guru Granth Sahib

The Guru Granth Sahib is the central holy religious scripture of Sikhism, regarded by Sikhs as the final, sovereign and eternal Guru following the lineage of the ten human gurus of the religion. It is written in the Gurmukhi script in various languages, including Punjabi, Persian, Arabic, Sanskrit, and Hindi. The Guru Granth Sahib is composed predominantly of hymns by six Sikh gurus, as well as the traditions and teachings of fourteen Hindu Bhakti movement saints and one Muslim Sufi saint.

The Guru Granth Sahib is installed in a Sikh gurdwara (temple) and is treated with the utmost respect. It is always the focal point, seated on a raised platform known as a Takht (throne), while the congregation of devotees sits on the floor and prostrates before the Guru as a sign of respect. The Guru Granth Sahib is carried on the head and, as a sign of respect, is never touched with unwashed hands or placed on the floor. It is attended with all signs of royalty, with a canopy placed over it, and a chaur (fan whisk) waved above it.

The Guru Granth Sahib plays a central role in the Sikh wedding ceremony, known as the Anand Karaj or "ceremony of joy". The ceremony takes place in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib in a gurdwara, a Sikh place of worship. The Guru Granth Sahib is seated on a throne, while the couple sits on the floor in front of it. The Ragis, or Sikh musicians, recite and sing each verse of the laavan (marriage prayer), signifying for the couple to walk around the Guru Granth Sahib four times. This practice of circumambulation signifies to the couple and the community the importance of a Guru-centred life and is a public promise that it is something the couple intends to do together.

During the Anand Karaj, the couple makes a commitment to continue their journey toward the Divine, with the Guru Granth Sahib as their guide. The four rotations around the Guru Granth Sahib signify that the Guru is at the centre of the couple's life and that they will receive support and understanding on their spiritual journey together. The Guru Granth Sahib represents the core, while the sadh sangat, or congregation, represents the support. The couple vows to work together to help each other probe spiritual depths toward a more sublime and profound union with Waheguru (God).

The symbolism of walking around the Guru Granth Sahib

The act of walking around the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh holy book, is a powerful symbol of the spiritual significance of marriage in the Sikh religion. The practice is called laavan, and it involves the couple walking around the Guru Granth Sahib four times, with the groom leading the bride. This act symbolises the couple's commitment to leading a Guru-centred life and is a public promise to do so as a married couple.

The laavan is the most crucial part of the ceremony, uniting the couple through four verses of scripture and religious messaging. The word laavan is a spiritual term for the union of 'Atma' (the bride) and 'Parmatma' (the groom). The four verses describe the various stages of marital love and the importance of the wedding. The first verse, sung in Raag Suhi, proclaims the start of the marriage ceremony, stating the piousness of the ceremony and instructing the couple to stay on the path of dharma. The second verse tells the couple to put aside their egos and search for the true guru. The third verse is a representation of true love for God, with the bride accepting that she has met a divine saint who has led her to love the absolute being. The fourth verse explains that the couple has found peace and equilibrium because they have reached God, and their minds now blossom with his name.

The act of walking around the Guru Granth Sahib four times is a powerful symbol of the couple's commitment to each other and their shared spiritual journey. It is a way for the couple to publicly declare their intentions to lead a spiritual life according to Sikh tenets, with the Guru at the centre of their marriage. This practice is a unique and beautiful representation of the Sikh wedding vows and the importance of the union between two individuals, their families, and their community.

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