Best Man's Guide: To Read Or Not?

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it's also a big responsibility. One of the most important duties is delivering a memorable wedding speech that reflects the groom's personality and celebrates his relationship with his new spouse. While some best men prefer to memorise their speech, others feel more comfortable reading from notes or a script. So, can you read your best man speech? The answer is yes! In fact, it's much more important that you feel confident and prepared than deliver your speech from memory. Reading from notes can ensure a smooth performance and help you get your message across effectively. However, it's a good idea to practice beforehand so that you're not completely reliant on your notes during the delivery.

How to introduce yourself

Being the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties is delivering a memorable wedding speech that reflects the groom's personality and celebrates his relationship with the bride. Here are some tips on how to introduce yourself effectively as the best man:

• Have a Killer Opening Line: Start your speech with a strong opener that grabs the audience's attention. You can introduce yourself with a twist, crack a joke, or share a quick anecdote about your relationship with the groom. Be creative and set the tone for the rest of your speech.
• Explain Your Connection to the Couple: After your introduction, take a moment to explain how you know the groom and your connection to the couple. This helps the audience understand your perspective and adds a personal touch to your speech.
• Share a Story or Two: Include one or two anecdotes or personal stories about your friendship with the groom. These stories should be lighthearted, funny, or sentimental. Avoid rambling or sharing overly long stories. The key is to keep it concise and engaging.
• Keep it Short and Sweet: Aim for a speech duration of around 3 to 7 minutes. This is the sweet spot where guests will want more but won't lose interest. Focus on a few key points and stories that capture the essence of your relationship with the groom and your wishes for the newlyweds.
• Be Yourself: Stay true to your personality when delivering the speech. If you're naturally funny, sprinkle in some humour, but don't force it if that's not your style. Be authentic, and the couple and guests will appreciate your sincerity.
• Practice and Prepare: Don't wing it! Take the time to write and practise your speech beforehand. Practise in front of a mirror, with a friend, or even record yourself to get feedback and refine your delivery. This will help you feel more confident and comfortable on the big day.
• Use Notes or Cue Cards: It's perfectly fine to use notes or cue cards during your speech. This will help you stay on track and ensure you don't forget any important points. However, try not to read directly from a sheet of paper, as it may make you appear disengaged. Small note cards or bullet points are usually enough to guide you through your speech.
• Avoid Controversial Topics: Remember, this day is about the bride and groom, not about you. Avoid controversial topics such as politics, religion, or anything that might offend or embarrass the couple or their families. Keep your speech positive and respectful.
• Thank the Right People: Don't forget to express your gratitude to the people who made the wedding possible. Thank the couple, their parents, the wedding reception staff, and the guests for their attendance and support. It's a thoughtful touch that shows your appreciation.

The importance of a good opening line

The first few lines of your best man speech set the tone for the rest of it, so getting your best man opening lines right is vital. The beginning of a speech is always the hardest bit to get right, but once you’ve nailed that first sentence and won over the wedding guests, it’s all plain sailing from there.

Spend some time thinking about your audience

It is important to spend some time and effort thinking about your audience, the happy couple, and the sort of icebreaker that will work best for them and you. Remember to play to your strengths. If you’re not a natural comedian, then steer clear of too many best man speech jokes and opt for something charming, self-deprecating, or heartfelt instead.

A good opening line can be a great icebreaker

A good opening line can be a great icebreaker and there are many ways to start your best man speech. You can poke fun at yourself, make a quick-witted joke, give the impression that you've printed the speech off the internet, or even compliment yourself.

• "Hi, I’m [x] and it’s time for me to do this speech I scribbled down about an hour before the ceremony started."
• "I must admit, I’m not accustomed to public speaking. Up until I was asked to give this speech, I thought a toastmaster was a kind of kitchen appliance!"
• "Hi, I’m [x] and in the run-up to the wedding, many people have asked me how I’ll cope now that my best friend is married and will spend all his time at home loved up with his partner. And the truth is, I’m thrilled. I’m finally able to talk to women without him cramping my style!"
• "Right, I’d just like to start by laying down a couple of rules. Firstly, if you do have a mobile phone…please, leave it switched on; keep yourselves entertained. And secondly, if anyone texts you any good jokes, could you please forward them to me?"

A good opening line can be a great way to compliment your friend

A good opening line can also be a great way to compliment your friend. For example:

• "Hello, I’m [x] and I’m here to tell you all about [x] and how wonderful, handsome and…sorry, mate, I can’t read your writing."
• "Hello everyone, I’d like to start this speech off by congratulating the groom on his excellent taste in best men. He’s really outdone himself."

In conclusion, a good opening line is essential to the success of your best man speech. It can help you to connect with your audience, set the tone for the rest of your speech, and even pay a compliment to the groom. So, take the time to craft a thoughtful and engaging opening line that will capture the attention of your audience and leave them wanting more.

How to talk about the groom

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, but getting it right is essential. While you are weighed down by the expectation to be funny, you also need to know how to talk about the bride and groom in a meaningful and non-clichéd way. Here are some tips on how to talk about the groom:

Introduce yourself and explain your relationship with the groom

Start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the groom. This will help the audience understand your connection and why you are there. For example, "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Chris and I am officially Paul's second best man".

Mention the groom's positive qualities

Talk about the groom's good qualities, such as his kindness, adventurous spirit, or sense of humour. You can also mention how the groom's life will change for the better now that he has found his partner. For example, "Seriously, when Mark met you Emily, everyone could see just how happy that made him. He's always been a great bloke waiting for the right girl, and everyone who knows you both will tell you just what a great couple you are together".

Share a short anecdote about the groom

Amusing incidents from the groom's past can be great to include in your speech, but be careful not to go overboard. Choose one or two extended stories that are entertaining and relevant, and make sure they are not too long or complicated. For example, "Anyway, when Mark wasn't failing to hit the top spot in the classroom, he was also finding it difficult on the sports field as well. However, with modest talent and even less interest, he did the only sensible thing to do: he saved up all his skill and enthusiasm for one split second of genius".

Avoid mentioning ex-partners

This may seem obvious, but it is important to avoid talking about the groom's ex-partners. This is the bride's special day, and the last thing she needs is to be reminded of her husband's former relationships!

Conclude with well-wishes

End your speech with some sincere well-wishes for the couple's future together. For example, "All that remains for me is to wish you all a long and happy life together, with all the luck in the world. Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom".

How to talk about the bride

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, but it can be a daunting task. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you navigate talking about the bride in your best man speech.

Keep it Positive and Meaningful

It is essential to say something nice and meaningful about the bride. Avoid going overboard with compliments, but ensure your words are sincere and heartfelt. You can even set up your tribute to the bride with a joke, such as:

> "I've known the groom for a number of years, and there are plenty of things I could share about his younger days. But, at the bride's request, I'll keep things brief and focus on their positive attributes."

Highlight the Bride's Positive Influence on the Groom

Talk about how the bride has impacted the groom positively. Has he become happier? More adventurous? More well-rounded? For example:

> "I've noticed how incredibly happy you've made my old friend over these last eight years, and how much you've helped him change his life for the better. He's always been a great guy, but now he has wider horizons and a greater sense of adventure."

Express Approval of the Match

Show your support for the couple and their decision to get married. You can also mention how well they complement each other:

> "I can't imagine a couple more ready and right for this blessing. And I couldn't ever have imagined a bride more perfect for [Groom]. Thank you, [Bride], for bringing him and all of us so much happiness."

Compliment Her Efforts in Planning the Wedding

If the bride played a significant role in organising the wedding, acknowledge her hard work and dedication:

> "Planning a wedding is like taking on another full-time job. The pay isn't good, the hours are long, and the work isn't glamorous. But the returns will be everlasting, and we are all here today to celebrate the love between [Bride] and [Groom]."

Avoid Excessive Details

Remember that the wedding day is primarily about the bride, so avoid sharing overly personal details or stories that might embarrass her. Keep your comments and anecdotes general and respectful.

Incorporate a Touch of Humour

While the focus should be on sincere compliments, you can also add a touch of humour to your remarks about the bride. Just ensure that your jokes are tasteful and not at the expense of the bride or the couple.

How to end the speech

The ending of your best man speech is the part that will leave a lasting impression on your audience, so it's important to make it memorable and impactful. Here are some tips and ideas to help you craft a meaningful and engaging conclusion:

• Keep it Brief and Snappy: Your closing remarks should be concise and to the point. Avoid rambling and aim for a duration of around 3 to 5 minutes.
• End on a Positive Note: Conclude your speech by celebrating the newlyweds and wishing them a happy and prosperous future together.
• Include a Toast: A best man's toast to the newlyweds is a traditional and meaningful way to end your speech. Ask everyone to raise their glasses and propose a heartfelt toast to the couple's happiness and future together.
• Call Back to an Earlier Joke or Story: Bring your speech full circle by referencing something you mentioned earlier. This creates a sense of cohesion and leaves the audience with a satisfying conclusion.
• Share a Quote: Using a quote about love or marriage is a great way to add a touch of wisdom and sentiment to your ending. Choose a quote that resonates with you and the couple, and make sure it's not overly used or clichéd.
• Thank the Bridesmaids: While it's not mandatory, you can include a brief thank you to the bridesmaids in your toast. This is a thoughtful gesture that acknowledges their contribution to the wedding.
• Avoid Overused Jokes: Stay away from overused best man jokes that your audience may have heard before. Instead, focus on original and engaging humour that showcases your creativity.
• Memorable Lasting Impression: Leave the audience with a lasting impression by ending on a high note. You can opt for a big laugh with your best gag or go for a more sentimental approach that leaves them with tears of joy.
• Practice and Prepare: Rehearse your speech, including the ending, in front of a mirror or record yourself to refine your delivery. This will help you feel more confident and ensure your message lands effectively.

"So here's to [Groom's Name], who still thinks 'Netflix and chill' means watching Netflix... and to [Partner's Name], who loves him anyway. May your marriage be filled with laughter, love, and slightly better communication! Cheers!"

"To the happy couple — may your love be as enduring as [Groom's Name]'s legendary hangovers, and may your life together be filled with adventure, joy, and slightly fewer tequila shots. Cheers!"

"Here's to [Groom's Name], the man who still thinks he's late to his own wedding rehearsal — but who showed up right on time when it mattered most. And to [Partner's Name], for agreeing to put up with him! To love, laughter, and happily ever after. Cheers!"

"I'd like to end with a quote from Socrates: 'My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife/husband, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.' To the happy couple!"

"To [Name] and [Name], here's an Antoine de Saint-Exupery quote: 'Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.' Cheers to the lovely couple!"

Frequently asked questions