Choosing A Best Man: When You're Stuck

Choosing a best man can be a difficult decision, especially if you have a lot of close friends or family members. If you're struggling to pick a best man, there are several factors you can consider to help you decide. One option is to choose a family member, such as a brother, as they often know you well and have a good relationship with your partner. Another option is to select a friend, preferably someone you've known for a long time, who lives close by, or who already knows your future spouse. If you're still unsure, you can consider having two best men or even a best woman. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you can choose to forgo the tradition of having a best man altogether if it feels right for you.

Pick someone capable and task-oriented

If you're struggling to pick a best man, one option is to pick someone capable and task-oriented. This person should be well-organised, calm, and able to coordinate the other groomsmen. They should also be able to help with wedding preparations, such as choosing the tuxes and reminding the groomsmen about their roles and the importance of wedding etiquette.

A best man who is capable and task-oriented will be able to ensure that the other groomsmen have their outfits fitting correctly and that they understand their roles in the ceremony. They will also be able to help the bride and groom with pre-wedding preparations, such as organising a list of toasts for the wedding reception and arranging the "getaway" car for the honeymoon. This type of best man will be able to keep on top of time-sensitive tasks and set a good example for the rest of the wedding party.

When choosing a best man who is capable and task-oriented, consider your friends who have strong organisational skills. For example, a friend who works as an accountant may be a better choice than a friend whose only organisational skills come into play when setting up drinks for happy hour. This doesn't mean that the best man has to be all work and no play—they can still be someone who is sociable and knows how to have a good time. But ultimately, you want someone who can handle the responsibilities that come with the role and who you can trust to get things done.

Remember, it's your wedding, so you can set your own rules and create a wedding party that feels authentic to you. If you don't feel like any of your friends fit the bill for a capable and task-oriented best man, you can always consider other options, such as having multiple best men or even a best woman.

Pick someone sociable

Picking a best man can be a difficult task, especially if you have to choose between several close friends. If you are struggling to decide, one criterion to consider is to pick someone sociable.

The best man's job requires an agile touch with in-laws, guests, vendors, and other event professionals. You want someone who is at ease with other people and who likes to schmooze and be social. They should be confident enough that their glad-handing will seem unforced and natural.

The best man will be the point of contact for many of the people involved in the wedding, so it is important that they are someone who is approachable and friendly. They will be the one to ensure that the vibe is right, the newlyweds are looked after, and that schedules are followed. They will also be responsible for smoothing out any bumps in the road and dealing with any issues that arise on the day.

If you are torn between two people for best man, consider which one is the most sociable. This could help you make your decision.

Pick someone discreet

Picking a best man can be a daunting task, especially if you have many close friends and family members. If you are torn between several people, one factor to consider is choosing someone discreet.

The best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of the wedding. It is also one of the only duties that the groom usually does not have direct influence over. While it is meant to be funny and light-hearted, it is important that the best man does not say anything tasteless or embarrassing. If you are worried that someone on your shortlist might say something they shouldn't, it is best to pick someone else for the role.

You should also consider the person's general character and how they interact with others. The best man will be interacting with your in-laws, guests, vendors, and other event professionals, so it is important that they are a people person. The ideal candidate should be confident, sociable, and able to schmooze and be agile with others.

Finally, the best man should be well-organised and task-oriented. They will be responsible for many important duties on the day, such as holding the wedding rings, helping the groom with his attire, and ensuring the groom brings the wedding license. Therefore, it is crucial that the person you choose is capable and reliable.

Pick someone you know well

Picking your best man can be a difficult task, especially if you have a lot of close friends and family members. If you're struggling to decide, it's important to remember that your best man should be someone who knows you well. Here are some tips to help you choose someone you know well to be your best man:

Choose a Close Friend or Family Member

The best man is typically a close friend or family member of the groom. If you have a brother, this could be an easy choice as he knows you well and has likely met your fiancé. However, if you don't get along or have a strained relationship, it's better to choose someone else. If you have a best friend, especially one you've known for a long time, they could also be a good option as they have likely been through different stages of your life with you.

Consider Who Knows Your Future Spouse

Your wedding day is a celebration of your relationship, so choosing a best man who knows your future spouse can make the day even more special. This person will also be well-suited to give a speech about your relationship during the toast, making it more genuine and heartfelt.

Pick Someone Who Aligns with Your Vision

Your best man should be someone who understands and respects your vision for the wedding. This includes everything from the bachelor party to the reception. For example, if you prefer a low-key camping trip for your bachelor party instead of a wild party, your best man should be able to put their own preferences aside and plan something that suits you.

Assess Their Availability and Commitment

The role of the best man comes with a lot of responsibilities and time commitments. When choosing someone you know well, consider their availability and willingness to take on these tasks. If they have a new baby, a demanding job, or other significant commitments, they may not have the time or energy to devote to being your best man.

Don't Be Afraid to Break Traditions

Lastly, remember that wedding traditions are meant to be broken. If you can't decide on one person, you can have multiple best men or forgo the tradition altogether. You could have a "best woman" or even a "best pup"! Ultimately, it's your wedding, and you can choose whoever you think will support and celebrate you best.

Pick someone who knows your partner

If you're struggling to choose a best man, one approach is to pick someone who knows your partner. This can be a great option, especially if you and your partner share a close group of friends or have a similar social circle. Here are some reasons why choosing someone who knows your partner well could be beneficial:

• Understanding your partner's needs: A best man who knows your partner well will be better equipped to support and understand them during the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. They will be aware of your partner's preferences, comfort level, and any specific needs, ensuring that your partner's experience is as stress-free and enjoyable as possible.
• Enhancing the wedding planning process: Wedding planning can be a complex and time-consuming task. By choosing a best man who knows your partner, you gain someone who can effectively coordinate with your partner and ensure that their needs and preferences are considered. This can lead to a more harmonious and efficient planning process, as the best man can act as a bridge between the two of you.
• Facilitating social connections: A best man who is already familiar with your partner's friends and family can enhance the social dynamics at the wedding. They can help introduce members of the wedding party, facilitate conversations, and create a warm and welcoming atmosphere. This is especially beneficial if your families and friends are meeting for the first time, as a well-connected best man can act as a social glue, making everyone feel included.
• Providing emotional support: Weddings can be emotionally charged events, and having a best man who understands your partner's emotions can be invaluable. They will be able to provide tailored support and reassurance, ensuring that your partner feels cared for and understood throughout the entire process.
• Personal connection: Choosing a best man who knows your partner can add a layer of intimacy and depth to the wedding party. This person likely shares a history with your partner and can bring a unique perspective to the celebration. They may also have insights into your partner's life and experiences that even you might not be aware of, adding to the richness of the occasion.

Remember, the role of the best man is crucial, and it's important to select someone capable, organised, and trustworthy. By choosing someone who knows your partner, you can create a supportive dynamic that enhances the wedding experience for both of you.

Frequently asked questions