The Best Man's Guide: Duties And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is expected to support the groom in any way possible before and during the wedding. This includes helping the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles, and planning an awesome bachelor party.

On the day of the wedding, the best man's duties include helping the groom get ready, making sure he arrives at the venue on time, standing beside the groom at the altar, holding the wedding rings, signing the marriage license, giving a speech, and getting the party started.

In addition, the best man may also be asked to assist with various tasks before and after the wedding, such as attending pre-wedding events, buying a wedding gift, taking charge of transportation, and returning hired items. Ultimately, the best man is there to be the groom's friend and provide support and assistance throughout the entire wedding process.

Help choose the suits

As the best man, you will be the groom's right-hand man and are expected to help the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear. You will also be in charge of coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles, which may include gathering everyone's measurements, giving the group an order-by deadline, or placing the order yourself.

• The best man should adapt his look to the groom's, or, in particular circumstances, to the groom's father's or brother's.
• Tuxedos and morning dresses should be buttoned up and it is recommended to wear a white flower in the buttonhole.
• For a wedding before 6:00 pm, the best man will wear a tuxedo or a morning dress, depending on the groom's choice. If you are allowed to choose freely, opt for light or light-medium shades of grey and blue.
• For weddings after 6:00 pm, the best man should wear a tailcoat. If you are free to choose, pick a three-piece suit in a dark shade of grey or blue.
• For weddings at warm, exotic locations, opt for a light and breathable fabric such as a linen suit or a blend of linen and cotton.
• For weddings that take place outdoors in the evening, choose wool and silk in a dark colour such as brown.
• For weddings that take place outdoors in the morning or afternoon, a linen suit or a blend of cool wool and cotton is a perfect choice.
• For a religious wedding, choose formal, traditional, and polished suits. Get as much information as possible on the general style of the wedding and the party to pick the most appropriate outfit.
• For a civil wedding, catch the general mood and make your choice accordingly. Some view a civil wedding as worth exactly as much as a religious one and may have a fancy and classy reception, while others prefer a quick and informal ceremony.
• Blue, especially dark blue, is the most preferred choice for the best man's suit as it flatters any complexion and body type.
• A classical grey suit is a good option inspired by the most rigorous tuxedos and morning dresses. A charcoal grey suit is the second-best choice for a formal wedding.
• Black is both exclusive and formal. However, due to the fact that it is the traditional colour for tailcoats, it might be inappropriate for a traditional wedding. In many countries (such as Italy), etiquette and tradition do not allow for a black-tie dress code.
• Even for the best man, a white shirt is a must. As for the tie or bow tie, plain colours in silk are recommended.
• Your shoes should be comfortable and matt black, calfskin laced shoes.

Plan the bachelor party

Planning a bachelor party can be a daunting task, but it's a great opportunity to create an unforgettable experience for the groom and the guests. Here are some tips to help you plan an awesome bachelor party:

Understand the Groom's Preferences:

Start by understanding what the groom would like for their bachelor party. Is he an adventurous type who wants an action-packed weekend, or does he prefer a more low-key gathering with close friends? Consider his unique disposition and try to tailor the party to his interests. For example, if he enjoys playing pool, include a visit to a pool hall, or if he's a whisky connoisseur, organise a whisky-tasting session.

Choose a Location:

While an exotic location might be tempting, remember that the people are more important than the place. Focus on creating an enjoyable atmosphere with the right group of people. However, if the groom has a specific activity in mind that requires travel, such as spelunking in a particular region, then consider making it a destination bachelor party.

Manage the Guest List:

The guest list is usually up to the groom. Some grooms prefer an intimate celebration with only the groomsmen, while others might want a larger gathering with additional friends and family members. Communicate with the groom to decide whom he'd like to attend, and then send out invitations accordingly.

Create a Schedule:

A successful bachelor party doesn't have to be jam-packed with activities every second. It's essential to leave some downtime in your plans. People often enjoy simply lounging around, having drinks, and socialising. However, you'll also want to include some structured activities to keep things interesting. Consider activities such as a bar crawl, a sports game, a casino night, or a video game tournament.

Manage Finances:

Bachelor parties can be expensive, so it's important to manage finances effectively. Consult with the groomsmen to understand their budgets and try to plan activities that are comfortable for everyone. You can use money management tools or create a shared pool to collect and manage funds. As the best man, you're not expected to pay for the entire party. The cost should be split evenly among the attendees, excluding the groom.

Add Personal Touches:

To make the bachelor party extra special, consider incorporating some personalised elements. For example, you could create a dare list for the groom to complete throughout the party or ask the guests to share toasts or memories about the groom. These moments will create lasting memories for the groom and the entire group.

Remember, the key to a successful bachelor party is to focus on the groom's enjoyment and create an atmosphere that fosters camaraderie and fun. With careful planning and attention to detail, you can plan an unforgettable bachelor party that the groom will cherish forever.

Give a best man speech

Giving a best man speech is one of the most important duties of a best man. It is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show support for the happy couple. Here is a guide on how to give a memorable best man speech:

Preparation:

Before you start writing your speech, it is a good idea to brainstorm and jot down your thoughts, feelings, memories, and stories about the groom. This will help you gather your ideas and ensure that you don't leave anything important out. Using a template as a guide can also be helpful, especially if you've never given a best man speech before.

Opening and Closing:

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial as they leave a lasting impression. Find a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone, and end with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

Content:

The content of your speech should focus on celebrating the groom and the couple. Share stories and anecdotes about the groom that showcase his good qualities, positive attributes, and any funny or heartwarming moments that highlight his character. It is also important to talk about the positive impact the bride has had on the groom and what she has to look forward to in their life together. Make sure to keep the speech positive, uplifting, and humorous, avoiding any embarrassing or need-to-know stories that could cause problems for the couple.

Delivery:

Practice your speech as much as possible to refine your delivery and build confidence. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend, and use hand gestures and eye contact to connect with the audience. Remember to keep your speech concise, with a general guideline of around 4-7 minutes.

Toasting:

Conclude your speech by addressing the couple directly and wishing them a happy future together. Then, make the toast by asking everyone to raise their glasses to the couple.

Other Tips:

• Avoid using props or showing photos/videos during your speech as they can make your speech longer and less effective. Instead, display any funny photographs at the seating plan so that guests can view them beforehand.
• Include a meaningful quote to end your speech, such as "The greatest gift of life is friendship."
• Be prepared for hecklers and have a few gentle and light-hearted responses ready to redirect the attention back to your speech.
• Avoid overused best man jokes and focus on creating original and engaging humour.
• Keep your speech focused on the couple and avoid talking about yourself or inside jokes that only you and the groom will understand.
• If there are multiple speakers, keep your speech short and sweet to maintain the guests' attention.

Keep the wedding rings safe

One of the most important duties of a best man is to keep the wedding rings safe. Here are some tips to ensure that the rings are secure and ready for the big moment during the ceremony:

Before the Wedding

First, it is crucial to designate a safe place for the rings. Choose a secure location where the rings will not be misplaced or damaged. It is also a good idea to triple-check that your pockets don't have any holes! You don't want to be fumbling around for the rings when it's time to exchange vows. If the ring bearer will be carrying the rings down the aisle, you will need to fasten them to the pillow before the processional.

During the Ceremony

As the best man, you will be responsible for holding onto the rings until they are requested by the officiant. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings to you for safekeeping. Stay alert and be ready to hand them over at the right moment.

After the Ceremony

Once the rings have been exchanged, your primary responsibility for their safekeeping is complete. However, it is still important to ensure that they are handled with care and not misplaced during the rest of the wedding celebrations. If the newlyweds remove their rings at any point, such as for the reception, you may want to offer to hold onto them again to reduce the risk of loss or damage.

Remember, keeping the wedding rings safe is a critical task as the best man. It is essential to be vigilant and organised to ensure the rings are secure and ready for their big moment during the ceremony.

Support the groom

Supporting the groom is the best man's most important role. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, supporting him in any way possible before and during the wedding.

Emotional Support

The best man should be a source of emotional support for the groom, listening to any pre-wedding nerves or confessions and reassuring him that everything will be okay.

Planning and Logistics

The best man should help the groom with the logistics of the wedding, acting as a go-between for the groom, groomsmen, and vendors. This includes coordinating the groomsmen's attire and activities, and confirming details with vendors.

Bachelor Party

The best man is typically in charge of planning the bachelor party, consulting with the groom to host an event that aligns with his wishes.

On the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, the best man should help the groom get ready, reminding him to breathe and making sure he eats and drinks enough. He should also ensure the groom arrives at the venue on time and stands by his side to greet guests.

The Rings

The best man is usually responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time for the couple to exchange them.

The Speech

The best man's speech is one of his most important duties. It should be well-crafted, focusing on the newlyweds and their love story, and including lighthearted anecdotes about the groom.

Frequently asked questions