George Boyle
Being the best man for your woman involves being her rock and her support system. It is about being her confidante and being there for her through thick and thin. It is about taking on the responsibility of being her primary source of emotional support and being able to provide her with the reassurance she needs. It is also about being proactive and having a can-do attitude, being able to solve problems before they arise, and being able to throw a kick-ass party. It is about being her ally and standing by her side, no matter what life throws at her. It is about being there for her during the planning process and on the day of the wedding, and it is also about being there for her after the wedding, as she settles into married life.
What You'll Learn
Be the groom's go-to person and support system
Being the best man is an honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. Here are some tips on how to be the groom's go-to person and support system:
Be Organised and Proactive
The best man is often the head groomsman and is responsible for guiding and organising the rest of the groomsmen. This includes coordinating their attire, gathering measurements, and placing orders. It's important to be proactive and solve problems before they arise. The best man should also ensure that the groomsmen arrive on time for all events and activities leading up to the wedding, including the rehearsal, pre-wedding activities, and the portrait session.
Support and Assist the Groom
One of the most important roles of the best man is to provide support and assistance to the groom throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. This includes helping the groom with any administrative tasks, such as booking vendors and managing RSVPs. The best man should also offer emotional support, listening to the groom's concerns and providing reassurance. On the wedding day, the best man should help the groom get ready, deliver a letter to the bride, and ensure the groom eats, drinks, and stays calm.
Plan an Unforgettable Bachelor Party
The best man is typically in charge of planning and organising an epic bachelor party that the groom will never forget. This could involve a local activity or a trip to an exciting destination. The best man should enlist the help of the other groomsmen and consider the groom's preferences and budget when planning the event.
Be the Point of Contact
The best man serves as the main point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, including groomsmen and family members. They should be readily available to answer any questions and provide assistance. This also includes being a witness to the marriage license signing and having a backup pen in case of any last-minute mishaps.
Keep the Wedding Rings Safe
One of the most important duties of the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe until it's time to exchange vows. The best man should find a secure place to store the rings and triple-check their pockets to avoid any last-minute fumbles.
By fulfilling these duties, the best man can ensure that the groom has a supportive and organised companion throughout the wedding planning process and that the big day runs smoothly.
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Help choose the wedding attire and organise fittings
As the best man, you'll want to look your best on the wedding day. Your outfit should complement the groom's without matching exactly and without overwhelming his look. Traditionally, the groom and the best man choose their suits on the same day and from the same tailor. If that's not possible, find out what the groom is wearing and have your tailor work with that. Your suit should be a younger sibling of the groom's and should also match the groomsmen's suits, albeit with differing details.
The best man's attire is dictated by several factors, including the type of wedding (formal, semi-formal, casual, beach), the location (indoors, outdoors, in a church or a hall), and the time of day (morning, afternoon, evening). If the wedding is before 6 pm, a tuxedo or morning dress is customary; after that, it's a tailcoat. If you have free rein, opt for a three-piece suit in a dark shade of grey or blue.
The fabric you choose will depend on the season. For a warm, exotic location, go for a light and breathable fabric like linen or a blend of linen and cotton. For an outdoor wedding in the evening, wool and silk in a dark colour like brown will keep you warm. If the wedding is in the morning or afternoon, a linen suit or a blend of cool wool and cotton will be more comfortable.
When it comes to colour, dark blue is the most preferred choice for a best man's suit. It flatters any complexion and body type, and it's both formal and elegant. A classic grey suit is another good option, particularly charcoal grey, which is ideal for a formal wedding.
As for accessories, comfort is key. You'll be on your feet all day, so opt for a pair of matt black, calfskin laced shoes. Feel free to add an original detail, like burgundy or fire engine red socks.
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Plan an awesome bachelor party
Planning an awesome bachelor party is one of the most important duties of a best man. Here are some ideas to make it a memorable event for the groom:
Weekend Getaways
- Rent a cabin in the woods or by a lake and spend the weekend hanging out with friends.
- Visit a national park and go hiking or camping.
- Head to Las Vegas for a quintessential bachelor party.
- Go on a cruise with your friends and enjoy the entertainment and dining options.
- Visit the Kentucky Bourbon Trail and tour popular bourbon distilleries.
- Go to a live music festival and enjoy the live bands and night raves.
- Visit a new country and get a new stamp on your passport.
- Rent an RV and go on a road trip.
- Plan a beach getaway and relax on the sand.
- Opt for an urban event and book a suite at a top resort, hit exclusive clubs, or lounge by the pool.
- Rent a ski cabin and add a sporting adventure like skiing or snowboarding.
Daytime Activities
- Go on a day hike and enjoy the scenery and fresh air.
- Float down a river on inner tubes and stop at bars and restaurants along the way.
- Sign up for an obstacle course or paintballing and split into teams for some friendly competition.
- Throw a backyard BBQ and fire up the grill, or rent a house for the day if you don't have access to a backyard.
- Attend a food and wine festival or a local food tour and indulge in delicious food and drinks.
- Go on a brewery tour and taste different types of beer.
- Visit a vineyard and spend the day wine tasting and snacking on cheese.
- Go to a monster truck rally or a NASCAR race and witness the high-speed action.
- Take a white water rafting trip and experience the thrill of navigating rapids with your friends.
- Learn a new skill like painting, cooking, or axe throwing.
- Do a night of go-kart racing and put the pedal to the metal.
- Visit a theme park and enjoy the roller coasters, games, and carnival food.
Nighttime Activities
- Host a game night and play board games, video games, or a friendly game of poker.
- Set up a bar crawl and visit different bars and restaurants.
- Rent a room and sing your heart out at a karaoke night.
- Attend a comedy club and enjoy a night of laughs.
- Go to a sporting event and cheer on your favourite team.
- Hit up an arcade or do laser tag and relive your childhood.
- Barcades, a combination of bars and arcades, offer drinks and old-school video games.
- Go stargazing and enjoy the beauty of nature under the night sky.
- Eat at a fancy restaurant and elevate the typical bachelor party experience.
Remember, the key is to plan activities that the groom will enjoy and that reflect his interests. Whether it's a wild weekend or a low-key celebration, make it memorable and enjoyable for the groom and his friends!
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Be the point of contact for the groom's side
Being the best man for your woman involves being the groom's right-hand man at the wedding. This means you'll be in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties.
As the best man, you'll be the point of contact for the groom's side, and the groom's go-to confidant throughout the whole engagement and wedding planning process. You'll be his sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety he may be feeling. You'll also be the person to take delivery of any buttonholes and hand them out to the groomsmen and the other ushers.
Before the wedding, you'll be in charge of helping the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. This might include gathering everyone's measurements, giving the group an order-by deadline, or even placing the order yourself. You'll also be in charge of making sure each groomsman has their tux, tie, socks, shoes, etc. in order.
On the day of the wedding, you'll be the groom's personal aide and adviser, helping him get ready and delivering a letter to his future spouse. You'll also be the point of contact for vendors, and will ensure the groom eats and drinks. You may also be responsible for holding his phone so he's not distracted, and helping to calm any pre-wedding jitters.
As the best man, you'll also be responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until it's time to exchange vows. You'll traditionally walk down the aisle after the groom and take your place standing closest to him at the altar, with the rest of the groomsmen lining up alongside.
After the wedding, you may be asked to help with certain tasks such as making sure vendors are tipped and paid, transporting gifts to the couple's home, and returning any rented attire.
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Hold the wedding rings
Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips and instructions to ensure you fulfil this responsibility with ease:
Before the Wedding
It is customary for the best man to hold the wedding rings on the day of the wedding. However, you can receive the rings earlier if the couple prefers. Discuss with the couple when they would like you to take possession of the rings. It is a good idea to have the rings during the rehearsal so that you can practice the handover seamlessly.
During the Wedding
As the best man, you will traditionally walk down the aisle after the groom and take your place standing closest to the groom at the altar. If you are the ring bearer, ensure you have the rings ready when the couple is ready to exchange them. If not, make sure the ring bearer has the rings before the ceremony begins.
Keeping the Rings Safe
Find a safe place for the rings and triple-check your pockets for holes! You don't want to fumble around when it's time to bring them out. If the couple has chosen to have a child as the ring bearer, consider having them carry a pillow or ring box with fake rings. This way, the child still gets to participate in the ceremony without the risk of losing or damaging the real rings.
After the Wedding
You may be asked to help with certain tasks after the wedding, such as returning any rented attire, including the wedding rings. Discuss with the couple if they would like you to take care of this responsibility.
Remember, communication is key. Talk to the couple about their expectations and preferences, and don't be afraid to ask questions. Good luck with your best man duties!
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Frequently asked questions
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidant. He leads the groomsmen and is in charge of planning the bachelor party, helping to choose the wedding formalwear, and giving a speech at the reception. He also has the important job of keeping the wedding rings safe until they are exchanged.
As a female best man, you should wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. Many opt for a female tuxedo or suit, matching the style and colouring of the groomsmen. Alternatively, you could wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen, or even similar clothes to the bridesmaids if you are close to the bride.
The groom should choose his best man wisely, as they will be one of the key drivers behind the scenes in the build-up to the wedding and on the day itself. The groom should also communicate with his best man about what he wants the groomsmen to wear and whether he wants everyone to match or coordinate.
The best man may be asked to help with certain tasks after the wedding, including making sure vendors are tipped and paid, transporting gifts to the couple's home, and returning any rented attire.
