The Best Man's Guide: Duties And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a privilege, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante, supporting the groom and taking on a leading role in the planning and execution of the wedding. This includes organising the bachelor party, giving a speech, assisting with the groom's attire, and keeping the wedding rings safe, among other duties. The best man is also expected to be a source of emotional support for the groom and help ease any pre-wedding jitters. In addition, the best man acts as a leader and mediator for the groomsmen, ensuring they are informed, organised, and performing their duties. While the role can be demanding, it is an opportunity to create special memories for the groom and contribute to an unforgettable day.

Organise the bachelor party

Organising the bachelor party is one of the best man's most important duties. It's a chance to celebrate the groom's last days as a single man, so it's important to make it a night to remember. Here are some tips to help you organise an awesome bachelor party:

Planning

First, consult with the groom to understand his expectations and wishes for the party. Is he looking for a wild night out or a more low-key gathering? Does he want to go abroad or stay local? Would he prefer a full weekend of activities or just one night of fun? Understanding his preferences will help guide your planning.

Next, create a guest list with the groom. Ask him to provide a list of people he wants to attend, and get their availability for potential dates. Try to accommodate as many guests as possible by finding a date that works for the majority of the group. It's also important to consider everyone's budget when planning the party. You don't want to plan an extravagant trip that only a few people can afford.

Logistics

Once you have a date and location in mind, start planning the logistics. If you're travelling, look into flights and accommodation options. If you're staying local, research venues and activities for the party. Are you going to a bar or club? Playing golf? Having a poker night? Finalise these details and start making any necessary reservations.

Invitations

Send out invitations to the bachelor party at least one month in advance. This will give guests enough time to plan and make any necessary arrangements. Include all the important details, such as the date, time, location, and any dress code or other instructions.

Budget

Discuss budget expectations with the groom and other groomsmen. Traditionally, the cost of the bachelor party is split evenly among the attendees, excluding the groom. Make sure everyone is comfortable with the planned expenses and consider their financial situations when planning activities.

Gifts

Organising a gift from the groomsmen to the groom is a thoughtful touch. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just something small and sentimental to mark the occasion.

Timing

Try to schedule the bachelor party at least a month before the wedding. This will give everyone time to recover and ensure they look their best on the wedding day.

Safety

Remember, your primary responsibility as the best man is to support the groom. Do not let anything happen at the bachelor party that could threaten his relationship or cause embarrassment. Stay sober enough to keep an eye on the proceedings and make sure the groom doesn't overindulge.

Have Fun!

While you have a lot of responsibilities as the best man, don't forget to enjoy yourself! This is a chance to celebrate with your friend and create lasting memories.

Give a best man speech

Being the best man at a wedding is an honour and a big responsibility. One of your main tasks is to give a memorable speech that celebrates the groom, entertains the guests, and shows your support for the couple. Here are some tips to help you craft and deliver a great best man speech:

Preparation:

Before you start writing your speech, take some time to brainstorm and jot down your thoughts, feelings, memories, and anecdotes about the groom. Think about how you met, funny or embarrassing stories, his positive traits and any challenges he has faced. You can also include stories or anecdotes that show how the groom and bride are well-suited for each other. Try to make your speech unique and add personal touches. If you need help structuring your speech, you can use online templates as a guide.

Structure:

Your speech should have a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Briefly introduce yourself as the best man and try to get the audience laughing as early as possible. You can also acknowledge any special guests and the bride at this point.

Body:

Share stories and anecdotes about the groom. This is your chance to be creative and imaginative. You can include "three life lessons" you've learned from the groom, a poem about his best qualities, or a "top 5 countdown" of his most hilarious moments. Make sure to include the bride in your stories, ideally in a positive light. Talk about how the groom has changed for the better since meeting their partner and wish them a happy future together.

Conclude with a toast to the couple, keeping it short and sweet. You can also include one final punchline or joke to finish off.

Delivery:

Practising your speech is crucial to building your confidence. Rehearse multiple times, focusing on content, timing, and flow. Practise in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to get feedback. Remember to connect with your audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, using hand gestures, and expressing your emotions genuinely.

Other tips:

• Keep your speech concise. A good length is around 4-7 minutes.
• Alternate between humour and sincerity to keep your speech engaging and emotional.
• Be mindful of your audience and consider toning down raunchy jokes or innuendos if children are present.
• If you're nervous, take deep breaths, slow down, and visualise yourself as a great speaker.
• If you're using notes, print out your speech or use bullet points/cue cards. You can also memorise your opening and closing lines to connect directly with the audience.

Remember, your speech is a chance to celebrate your friend's special day, so enjoy the moment and have fun with it!

Help choose suits

As the best man, you'll be expected to help the groom choose his suit and get dressed on the wedding day. Here are some tips to help you with this responsibility:

Timing and Occasion

The type of suit you choose for the groom will depend on the time of day and the type of wedding. If the ceremony takes place before 6 pm, the groom will typically wear a tuxedo or a morning dress. For an afternoon or evening wedding, a tuxedo is also appropriate, while a tailcoat is the go-to for after-hours nuptials.

Fabric and Colour

The weight and fabric of the suit will depend on the season and location of the wedding. For a warm, exotic location, opt for a light and breathable fabric such as linen or a blend of linen and cotton. For an outdoor wedding in the evening, wool and silk in a dark colour such as brown will provide warmth. If the wedding is outdoors during the day, a lightweight fabric such as wool and cotton or linen will be more comfortable.

For a religious wedding, the groom's suit should be formal, traditional, and polished. A civil wedding may call for a less formal suit, depending on the couple's preferences.

Blue, particularly dark blue, is the most popular choice for a groom's suit as it flatters any complexion and body type. Charcoal grey is another good option, inspired by the most rigorous tuxedos and morning suits. Black is formal but may not be appropriate for a traditional wedding, depending on the country.

Style and Fit

The groom's suit should complement the style of the wedding party. If the groomsmen are wearing slim-fit suits, the groom's suit should follow suit. Likewise, if the groomsmen are wearing double-breasted suits, the groom should too.

The groom's suit should also fit the season. In the summer, lightweight fabrics such as linen or cotton are ideal, while heavier wools or blends are more suitable for winter.

Be the groom's right-hand man

Being the groom's right-hand man is one of the most important duties of the best man. This involves a lot of tasks and responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding. Here is a detailed breakdown of what it takes to be the groom's right-hand man:

Before the Wedding:

• Assist with outfit details: Help the groom and groomsmen with their wedding attire selections, including suits, ties, shoes, and accessories. This includes coordinating fittings, gathering measurements, and ensuring everyone's attire is clean and ready for the wedding day.
• Organise the bachelor party: Plan and host an unforgettable bachelor party that aligns with the groom's wishes. Consult with the groom, recruit the groomsmen to help, and ensure that the event is well-organised and enjoyable for everyone.
• Provide emotional support: Be there for the groom throughout the planning process. Listen to his complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment, and reassure him that everything will be okay.
• Attend the rehearsal: Be present at the wedding rehearsal to familiarise yourself with your duties and responsibilities during the ceremony. You may also be asked to make a small toast during the rehearsal dinner.
• Assist with planning: Offer to help the groom with logistical details, such as booking vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules. This can alleviate some of the stress from the groom and ensure a smoother planning process.
• Collect and coordinate gifts: If the groomsmen decide to get a gift for the groom, the best man often leads this effort by collecting money and choosing a meaningful gift, such as a vintage bottle of wine or a personalised item.

During the Wedding:

• Keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule: Ensure that everyone arrives at the venue on time and help wrangle the groomsmen throughout the ceremony. Keep an eye on the clock, especially on the morning of the wedding, to prevent any delays.
• Hold the wedding rings: One of the most important duties is to safely hold onto the wedding rings until it is time for the couple to exchange them. This act symbolises the trust and responsibility placed in you by the bride and groom.
• Greet and welcome guests: As the groom's right-hand man, you may know a large portion of the guests. Help welcome and greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere before the ceremony begins.
• Stand with the groom at the altar: Traditionally, the best man stands closest to the groom during the ceremony, ready to present the rings when needed.
• Sign the marriage license: As a witness, the best man signs the marriage license along with the maid of honour and hands the officiant a sealed envelope with their fee.
• Give the best man speech: Deliver a well-crafted and entertaining speech during the reception. Focus on the newlyweds, their love story, and include lighthearted anecdotes about the groom.
• Keep the reception moving: Be ready to step in and emcee if needed. Crack a few jokes, get the guests onto the dance floor, and introduce key moments or people to keep the reception flowing smoothly.
• Assist with logistics: Throughout the reception, coordinate with vendors, confirm timelines, and address any issues that may arise. Your organisational skills will ensure a well-run and enjoyable celebration.

After the Wedding:

• Return and clean suits: Help round up and return any hired items, such as suits, and ensure they are cleaned and returned on time.
• Take care of wedding gifts: If the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately, safely store and transport the wedding gifts to their home. Ensure that all gifts, cards, and important keepsakes are collected and delivered to the couple.
• Check-in with the newlyweds: After the honeymoon, reach out to the newlyweds to offer congratulations and support.

Hold the wedding rings

Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you ace this responsibility:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you should confirm with the couple if there is an official ring bearer. If not, you will be responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until the ceremony. It is also a good idea to check if you will be in charge of holding the groom's personal items, such as their phone, wallet, and vows. Knowing this in advance will help you prepare and plan how to keep everything safe and organised.

On the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, ensure you have a safe place for the rings, such as your inner jacket pocket. Check this pocket in advance to make sure it doesn't have any holes! If the ring bearer is carrying the rings down the aisle, you will receive the rings from them and keep them safe until the couple is ready to exchange their vows.

During the Ceremony

During the processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom. Take your place standing closest to the groom at the altar, and be prepared to pass the rings to the couple when they are ready to exchange their vows.

After the Ceremony

Once the couple has exchanged their rings, ensure they are kept in a secure place, especially if the couple is leaving for their honeymoon right away. You may also be asked to help with certain tasks after the wedding, such as returning any rented attire, including the wedding rings, if applicable.

Remember, holding the wedding rings is a significant responsibility, and it is crucial to be aware of the rings' whereabouts at all times. By being organised and vigilant, you can ensure that the ring exchange goes smoothly and contributes to a memorable wedding ceremony.

Frequently asked questions