Inviting Friends To Your Wedding: Who Makes The Cut?

Figuring out which friends to invite to a wedding can be a tricky task. The number of people you invite will impact your budget and venue selection, so it's a decision that needs careful consideration. Wedding planners suggest creating a list of friends and dividing them into categories of importance, with close friends and chosen family at the top of the list. It's also worth considering how well your friends know your partner, and whether you still keep in touch with them regularly. If you're having a small wedding, you might only invite immediate family and best friends, whereas a larger wedding could include extended family, friends from different parts of your life, and their plus-ones.

Immediate family

When it comes to deciding who to invite to your wedding, it's important to remember that it's your special day and you should be surrounded by people who love and support you and your partner. Here are some considerations when it comes to inviting immediate family:

Defining Immediate Family

Budget and Venue Constraints

One of the biggest factors in deciding how many family members to invite is your budget and venue constraints. The number of guests you can invite will depend on the capacity of your venue and how much you can afford to spend per person. It's essential to create a budget and choose a venue that aligns with the number of people you want to invite.

Family Dynamics and Relationships

Consider the dynamics and relationships within your immediate family. If your parents are divorced and remarried, you may choose to only invite your parents and blood relatives, especially if you have a large family. However, if your step-relatives have been a significant part of your life, you may want to include them as well.

Parental Input and Financial Contribution

If your parents or your partner's parents are contributing financially to the wedding, they may want to have a say in the guest list. It's common for parents to want to invite extended family members, such as aunts, uncles, and cousins, as well as family friends. While it's important to consider their input, remember that you don't have to invite anyone out of obligation. Set clear boundaries and compromise when necessary.

Plus-Ones for Family Members

When considering plus-ones for immediate family members, it's generally expected to invite spouses or long-term partners. Anyone in a serious, committed relationship should be invited with their partner. This also applies to your siblings' partners, even if you don't know them well.

Children in the Family

Decide early on whether you want to include children in your wedding. If you have young nieces, nephews, or cousins whom you adore, you may want to accommodate them. On the other hand, if you don't want children at your wedding, that's also perfectly acceptable. Just make sure to communicate your decision clearly to your family members to avoid any misunderstandings.

Distant or Disconnected Family Members

You may have extended family members or relatives whom you haven't seen or spoken to in a long time. If you're not close to them and don't envision a relationship with them in the future, you don't have to feel obligated to invite them. Your wedding is an intimate celebration, and it's important to surround yourself with people who bring you joy and support.

Remember, when it comes to immediate family, it's essential to consider your relationships, budget, and venue constraints. Communicate openly with your family and set clear boundaries to create a guest list that aligns with your vision for your special day.

Close friends

When it comes to deciding which close friends to invite to your wedding, it's important to consider your relationships with them and how they fit into your life. Here are some factors to help guide your decision-making process:

• Level of closeness and frequency of contact: The friends who are closest to you and your partner should be at the top of your guest list. Consider how often you spend time with or communicate with these friends. If you regularly hang out with or text certain friends, they are likely part of your inner circle and should be invited.
• History and duration of the friendship: Think about how long you have known your close friends. The friends who have known you the longest, including those from your childhood or school days, are often considered to be part of your close circle. If a friend has been a constant presence in your life for many years, it is a good indication that they are important to you.
• Mutual support and joy: Weddings are a celebration of love and should be shared with people who bring joy to your life and will be excited to celebrate with you. Consider the friends who have supported you through difficult times and shared in your happiest moments. These friends are likely to fall into the category of close friends worth inviting.
• Involvement in your wedding party: Your wedding party members, such as the maid of honour, best man, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, are usually considered close friends. These individuals play a significant role in your wedding and are often the first to make the guest list.
• Geographical considerations: If you have close friends who live far away, such as in another city or country, their presence at your wedding may be subject to their availability and travel constraints. While you may want them there, understand that their attendance might depend on factors beyond their control.
• Budget and venue constraints: Your budget and venue capacity will play a role in determining the number of close friends you can invite. If you have a limited budget or a small venue, you may need to prioritise and select only the closest friends who are absolutely essential to have at your wedding.

Remember, the key is to surround yourself with people who love and support you on your special day. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to set boundaries when finalising your guest list.

Acquaintances

When it comes to acquaintances, it's important to consider how well they know you and your partner, as well as the nature of your relationship with them. Ask yourself: are they a part of your inner circle or just someone you know casually?

If you're having an intimate wedding with just close family and friends, acquaintances are unlikely to make the cut. However, if you're planning a larger celebration, you may want to include some of them.

• The nature of your relationship: How well do they know you and your partner? If they are merely acquaintances, it might be best to leave them off the guest list, especially if you're aiming for a more intimate gathering.
• The size of your wedding: If you're planning a large wedding with a generous guest list, you may have room for some acquaintances. However, if you're keeping it small and intimate, it's better to prioritize close family and friends.
• Your budget and venue capacity: The number of people you can invite will depend on your budget and the capacity of your venue. If you have limited space or funds, you'll need to be more selective about who makes the cut.
• The potential for future relationships: Consider whether there is potential for these acquaintances to become closer friends in the future. If so, you may want to include them in your celebrations as a way to strengthen the relationship.
• Reciprocity: Have you attended their wedding or a significant event in the past? While this is not a requirement, it can be a factor to consider, especially if you're on the fence about whether or not to invite them.
• Your level of comfort: Ultimately, you want your wedding day to be surrounded by people who make you feel loved and supported. If the thought of inviting certain acquaintances makes you feel uneasy, it's perfectly fine to leave them off the guest list.

When deciding whether or not to invite acquaintances to your wedding, it's important to trust your instincts and prioritize your own happiness. Your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment, so choose guests who will add to your joy and create a supportive atmosphere.

Plus ones

When it comes to plus ones, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is generally considered rude not to invite someone's spouse or long-term partner to a wedding. If you invite one half of a couple, you should invite the other.

Secondly, it is common courtesy to give plus ones to guests who are in a serious relationship, whether you know their partner well or not. This usually means couples who are engaged, married, living together, or dating for over a year. If you are working with a tight budget, you can be more selective with plus ones, but it is important to be consistent and not change the rules for different guests.

Thirdly, it is not necessary to give plus ones to single guests, but it can be a nice gesture, especially if your wedding is a destination wedding. This can make guests more comfortable, especially if they don't know many other people attending.

Finally, when it comes to addressing invitations, indicate whether a guest has a plus one by writing "and Guest" after their name on the envelope. On the RSVP card, specify how many people they are allowed to respond for, for example, "2" or "1".

Children

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding is a personal decision and depends on a number of factors. Here are some things to consider:

Your Relationship with the Children

If you have a close relationship with certain children, such as your nieces, nephews, godchildren, or children of your best friends, you may want to consider inviting them. Think about whether their presence would bring you joy and excitement on your big day. If you can't imagine your special day without them, then they should definitely be included.

Budget and Venue Constraints

The number of guests you can invite will depend on your budget and venue capacity. If you have a limited budget or a small venue, you may need to be selective about who you invite. In such cases, it is reasonable to prioritize adult guests and not invite any children, especially if you don't know them well.

Theme and Atmosphere

Consider the theme and atmosphere you want to create for your wedding. If you envision a formal, elegant affair, children may not fit into that picture. On the other hand, if you want a fun, lively, and casual celebration, children can add to the joyful atmosphere.

Parental Dynamics

Think about the dynamics with the children's parents. If their parents are close friends or family members who are important to you, not inviting their children could create tension. However, if the parents are merely acquaintances or distant relatives, you may have more flexibility in your decision.

Child-Friendly Activities

If you decide to invite children, consider incorporating child-friendly activities, food options, and entertainment to keep them engaged and happy during the event. This can ensure that both the children and their parents have a positive experience at your wedding.

Consistency and Exceptions

Whatever decision you make regarding inviting children, it is important to be consistent and avoid making exceptions. This will help avoid any hurt feelings or misunderstandings. You can indicate on the invitations whether children are included or not, and be clear about the number of guests invited to avoid any confusion.

Ultimately, the choice of whether to invite children to your wedding is yours to make. Consider your relationship with the children, logistical constraints, and the atmosphere you want to create for your special day.

Frequently asked questions